The Music From The Films Of Jessica Alba Post.

This series of posts has a problem, in that I'm restricted to only including music that's been commercially released... which is really annoying in the case of the wondrous Jessica Alba. It means that the terrific themes from the '90s Flipper (there were two) are off-limits, as are David Newman's score for Never Been Kissed, Joel McNeely's work on Dark Angel (although the opening ditty gets a look-in, even if the only episode of either season to give it a respectable airing is "Love Among The Runes") and - less regrettably, it has to be said - anything from Robert Rodriguez's Machete. But do not think the Alba's most frequent collaborator will go unrepresented...

1. Idle Hands Theme - Graeme Revell (3:05)
2. Dark Angel Theme - Public Enemy and MC Lyte (3:07)
3. Sin City End Titles - Robert Rodriguez (3:16)
4. Fantastic Proposal (from Fantastic Four) - John Ottman (2:17)*
5. Four In One (from Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer) - John Ottman (3:04)
6. Rain (from The Eye) - Marco Beltrami (2:42)
7. Guru Vindaloo (from The Love Guru) - George S. Clinton (2:55)
8. Valentine's Day (from Valentine's Day) - John Debney (2:32)
9. Enemas, MIG Fighter and Andi Garcia (from Little Fockers) - Stephen Trask (1:07)
10. Spy Mom (from Spy Kids: All The Time In The World) - Carl Thiel and Robert Rodriguez (2:29)

To make up for the latter two, here are two videos.

Hopefully the next one in the series won't have these problems...

*Technically this comes from both films, as it was tracked into the sequel as well.

The Wow, Time Sure Flies Post

Jessica Alba has two children, Debbie Gibson's forty(!) and now Hilary Duff's pregnant... don't worry, it'll happen to later generations as well. :)

The Good Idea, Bad Idea Post.

It's time for another Good Idea, Bad Idea. (At this point what with it being all over the Internet, spoiler alerts are a case of closing the door after the horse bolted.)

Good Idea: Putting two of modern cinema's most Callipygian performers, Jessica Alba and Kate Hudson, in a prestige project (The Killer Inside Me), thereby giving the former a chance to get taken something close to seriously for once and the latter a break from endless comedies (oh, and criticially and commercially disastrous all-star musicals).

Bad Idea: Having their characters get fucking beaten to death (Kate Hudson's first screen demise since The Skeleton Key [her body's intact but the character she plays is transferred into a soon-to-be-gone Gena Rowlands, remember] and Jessica Alba's first screen demise ever).

The End.

The Gift Exchange Post.

I joined it yesterday. Not at work, but at Film Score Magazine's messageboards - I hope whoever I draw asks for something good. I bet they do. And I'm sure it'll work out better than the last time it happened at work (when I didn't actually get a gift - still, it's better to give than to receive).

And now, gratutious pictures of Hayden, Jessica and Cindy.

In memory of Dollhouse, with the Actives about to fall asleep forever...

The Technical Term: "RESULT!" Post.

I know today isn't technically speaking their day, but come on. If their fellow supporter (aka the woman pictured over yonder) of the biggest O since Roy Orbison had been there as well, it would have been the Best Picture Ever.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!" - Butch.

(EDIT: "Actually, it's get the FUCK out of the way." - Butch.)

I stand corrected.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!" - Butch.

The Calendar Search Is Over Post.

That is all.

The Man, I Wish I Was Him Post.

So Ken wrote to me last week and said: You may have trumped me by posing with the sexiest midget ever and gazing upon the loveliness of Jessica Maria Alba....

But this Saturday I'm all set to meet and interview a certain moled supermodel....

The lucky swine. He also had this to say:

if for some reason that link doesn't work you can go to www.greenwich-post.com and look under local news for the story about the Spirit of Hope fundraiser. Alas the story isn't ALL about Cindy, but I did the best I could to maximize the presence of the moled Goddess.

And I must say, as you already know, she is even better looking in person. Just a vision of loveliness and loved her dress with the teasing glimpse of cleavage that made your mouth water. But I'll stop before I end up having to take a "break" ;-). I'm attaching a bunch of pictures of her from the event I took. I had a chance to talk to her briefly, no alone time though.

And unfortunately I didn't get to take a page out of the Muppets book and ask her "Hey Cindy, if you're a supermodel, then what's your superpower?" ;-).But just a lovely woman and she gave a very funny speech at the event about all the men who wanted to take pictures with her "for their daughters" where she would point out that their daughters have no idea who she is LOL.

Of course I don't want to live in a world where Cindy isnt the standard of beauty. How could this generation not be in awe of all things Cindy? ;-)

The pictures will be up here or on Simply The Best as soon as Yahoo! straightens out the attachments thing...

Sad footnote: The story ends with Cindy saying one of her sisters (she didn't say if it was Chris or Danielle) contracted thyroid cancer. I really hope she's okay. No family deserves to have even one member with a blood disease, never mind two.

The Number Of The Beast Post.

Nothing Satanic here, it's just that this is the 666th post on this blog. So that mentioned...

If there's one thing that irks me about the celebslash series The Harem, it's that half the messages on a story group that I'm a member of are from people suggesting women to include. This is irritating for two reasons:

1. There's such a thing as staying power to consider (making an immediate splash is all very well, but being there for the long haul helps), and

2. Inundating poor Mr. B with requests gets in the way of women he himself might like to write about, and also robs requestees of actually contributing stories themselves. Okay, not everyone can put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, as it were) but you can at least try.

Also irritating: people who don't have a TV and feel the need to lecture people about how superior they are for not having one, but that's another story. (Suffice to say this does not apply to Aria Giovanni, who posted on her blog about her lack of a box but didn't feel the need to condescend about it. A lesson many would be wise to heed.)

And now here are pictures of Jessica Alba, Mariah Carey and Laetitia Casta.




Good night, and may the good news be yours.

The Happy Birthday Post.

Happy birthday to Brandon Mars, alias Evil. Now how about updating? :) Here's a bit of the Alba for you (The Love Guru may have tanked, but who's getting the blame, her or Mike Myers?).

Happy birthday also to Andrew Smith, who also enjoys Cindy Crawford and is therefore a friend for life.

And you lucky, lucky Americans... getting a long weekend in summer!

So proudly we hail her.

The Labels Post.

"The Panettiere Spot," one of my friends dubbed this. But is he right? There's only one way to find out - see how many posts up to now I have via category and sort out the top 10 (well, maybe a bit more than 10). With apologies to those that only had one or two posts (such as Alan Silvestri, Amy Adams, Elmer Bernstein and Tom and Jerry), gradual winnowing determined that the rankings, from 10 to 1, are:

10. sisters (9 labelled posts)
9. unbelievably strokeable women, soundtracks, work work work (10 each)
8. great legs, my favourite women, TV (11 each)
7. Erica Campbell, film music (12 each)
6. proper soundtrack albums (15)
5. Jessica Alba (22)
4. stunning brunette (27)
3. Heroes (31)
2. Hayden Panettiere (41)

And the number one subject posted about here is...

1. Cindy Crawford (63)

So by a margin of 22, this remains The Cindy Spot. So there, Rachel Bilson freak. :)

The I Didn't Feel The Earth Move Under My Feet Post.

The UK had its biggest earthquake in 25 years yesterday at around 1 am. It woke Sharon up (the epicentre was far from London, but the tremors got down here), but it didn't wake me up. I sleep fairly soundly when I can. Fortunately nobody was killed (Britain is not earthquake central).

More immediately obvious to me; Sky One's Oscars red carpet show was pissed on from roughly the height of the moon by E!'s (you go, Ryan Seacrest!). The main attraction itself was not one of the great ceremonies, but no complaints about the Alba (even if she had drawn the "Tech Oscars roundup presented by a world-class hottie" slot previously filled by the likes of Jennifer Garner, Charlize Theron and Salma Hayek - safe to say Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton will never do it), Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, the aforementioned Mrs. Affleck, or Amy Adams.



Score Oscar presenter, performer, and centrepiece of the most memorable part of Charlie Wilson's War (along with Philip Seymour Hoffman's rant of course). Strutting down the hall with a letter, her red ponytail waving, her bottom twitching under her dress, a knowing smile on her face...

I have to go now.

The Multiple Choice Post.

Drat. Drat drat drat drat DRAT.

Was the above because:

a) I drew the exact same person for Secret Santa at work that I did last year? (Hopefully the similarities won't extend to my not getting anything again.)

b) I still haven't sent my parents Christmas cards?

c) There'll soon (well, in several months) be a mini-Jessica in the most "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?"-generating-from-me celebrity pregnancy since Cindy's second kid?

d) Gossip outlets everywhere reporting about Cindy saying no to any more nude shoots?

You decide.

The TGIF Post.

Problem: In order to tell you my story, I have to tell you theirs...

Hmmm - I haven't shrunk, turned white, lengthened my hair, grown massive breasts and changed sex, and am therefore not Jennifer Love Hewitt. So let's try again.

Problem: In order to remove the implications of working on my Hilary Duff/Lindsay Lohan/Jewel and Cindy Crawford/Hayden Panettiere/Jessica Alba/Hilary Duff (again)/Rihanna/Katharine McPhee/Kellie Pickler stories at work, I decided to just not do them there. But now they've been gestating longer than the film versions of Dick Tracy and The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and the implications of that aside I really HAVE to get cracking. Gah. (All right, I'll post them here with NSFW warnings.)

Not that this week's been all that great anyway - wintry bug's affecting a lot of folks including me, and I've been feeling an ache in my right shoulder all week. Endless stress at work ain't helping, but finding out that I'm not the only person who won't be going on the Christmas do next month is (encouragingly, the only other holdout is also the only other person at work who I know for a fact watches this blog's favourite non-animated show still in production, Heroes).

And now that I'm a member of Fanderson at long last, I can... do not much I couldn't do before, really. But at least it ain't bad news.

And finally, for Butch:

"Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the den

Two creatures were stirring - one Kingston, one Gwen..."

The Ratatouille Post.

Pixar's Cars was a bit of a disappointment, all told. So Ratatouille's indication that it was just a blip is a relief, as well as testament to Brad Bird's unwillingness to rush his movies (see the gaps between this, The Incredibles and The Iron Giant).


The movie works so well, even though I hate rats, because it skips so many of the obvious turns for something like this - if this had been from another company, mentioning no names (coughDreamWorkscough), you can bet that at some point we'd have heard Fergie or some such doing a version of "Rat In The Kitchen." This never happens here.


We also don't get emphasis on plot points you'd think would be of major, massive, climax-depending importance - when we hear about Linguini's link to Gusteau the expected ending (i.e. of his winding up owning the restaurant) does not come, and the expected romance between him and Colette is also not all that important to the movie... it's all about the food. And the characters.


It's funny but it's not really a comedy; Remy does look more cartoony than the other rats, but the movie never trades on his cuteness (and kudos to writer-director Brad Bird for having Remy communicate with Linguini without going the talking route), and though the animation's fabulous - the icing on the cake is the cel-animated end credit sequence - it never takes over the proceedings.


Add a rafter of marvellous voice actors (Patton Oswalt, Brian Dennehy, Ian Holm, Peter O'Toole, Janeane Garofalo, Will Arnett, Brad Garrett, John "No Pixar movie is complete without him" Ratzenberger...), throw in delightful Michael Giacchino scoring, and what have you got?


A gem.


Which only leaves the question of why this is illustrated with Monica Bellucci, Jessica Alba, Hayden Panettiere and Erica Campbell.


Simple. I still hate rats...

The Thank You, Kind Fate Post.

Enough said.

Screwing the score again.

Dear Lakeshore Records,

You couldn't have included one Aaron Zigman track on the Good Luck Chuck soundtrack? Even a short suite would have done; then I could have gotten the album and had an excuse to have a CD with Jessica Alba on the cover (especially since I can't seem to get the cover art on the blog).

That you guys are usually so good with these things - if not separate CDs, at least giving the composer some space - makes it worse. It's not like she's on the cover of Commotion's album for The Ten...

Yours,
Victor

Yes, but does she pass the Timberlake test?

Whatever Popoholic might say, Lee Hyori is unquestionably a babe, but...

Let's put it this way - Justin Timberlake's joined the cast of Jessica Alba's flick The Love Guru, alongside star Mike Myers. Hyori's charms wouldn't quite atone for JT if she was in it, and it was his involvement that ensured there is no way in hell I'll view Shrek the Third... but the movie doesn't have her, it has The Alba! And if Justin freaking Timberlake can't put me off going to see a movie with Jessica Alba, no one can.

End of.

Everybody sing along...

The way you see, if I move the t.v.
she looks so good, and she's not make believe
She's black, and white, and Sin City
C'mon now honey, just do it for me
She's good, she's bad, everything I need
I need you here now to put me to sleep
Into the blue, we touch so deep
I'm hoping that one day you will

Walk with me, let's walk into the night
Jessica, come home with me tonight
Superstar, you mean so much to me,
To me,
I'm never giving up

Let's fight, tonight you're my dark angel
Let's go, and run 'til we trip and we fall
So take, the sky, 'coz the world's too small
Let's follow you with the fantastic
For the first time I kept staring down across the floor
Now walk with me tonight

Walk with me, let's walk into the night
Jessica, come home with me tonight
Superstar, you mean so much to me,
To me,
I'm never giving up

*Instrumental*

I'm never giving up

Walk with me, let's walk into the night
Jessica, come home with me tonight
Superstar, you mean so much to me,
To me,
I'm never giving up
Walk with me, let's walk into the night
Jessica, come home with me tonight
Superstar, you mean so much to me,
Walk with me, let's walk into the night
Jessica, come home with me tonight
Superstar, you mean so much to me,
To me...

Elliot Minor wrote "Jessica" because, according to them, she's fit. No arguments from this corner. Listen to the song here.

Morning, folks.

I usually wake up early, or try to. On Wednesday I woke up at 4:15, which is late by my standards; so I only managed to be online briefly before leaving for work. I blame my lengthy sleep on being uncharacteristically tension-free thanks to Abbey National writing to me to tell me they're only swiping £20 from my hard-earned next month.

In the evening part of the North Circular was closed off, making my journey home last from about 4:20 to 7:00. Thus shortening my online time before having to go to bed.

Still, it wasn't all bad - what with Jessica Alba being on the market again and Heroes arriving on BBC2 the day landed on the credit side. Now if we could just get Serena Williams to pose naked again without the flowers, we'd be good to go. (Incidentally, confession time: the reason I can't get into Ali Larter - apart from her character on the show - is that I used to work with a Pakistani guy called Ali and that really gets in the way. More so than it did with Ali Landry. Ah well.)

The Friday debate: Should I post a pair of pictures of Jessica Alba in Madrid without any editorial comment whatsoever?