The Wow, Time Sure Flies Post

Jessica Alba has two children, Debbie Gibson's forty(!) and now Hilary Duff's pregnant... don't worry, it'll happen to later generations as well. :)

This. Is. Just. Right.

Is this more wonderful than
a) Cheaper By The Dozen
b) Material Girls
c) The Perfect Man
d) Cheaper By The Dozen 2
e) A Cinderella Story
f) Agent Cody Banks
or g) All of the above put together?

Answers to my email address with I Told You Hilary Duff Was More Attractive Than Lindsay Lohan in the subject field.

The FHM 95 (not 100, not yet)

Since every country's FHM list is different, you can't have one be proclaimed the ultimate; which is why I decided to try and compile one massive Sexiest Women in the World list based on their votes. This is based on the five complete lists I've managed to get so far (UK, USA, Australia, France and Germany) - if anyone can get me the rest of the various 100s so I can update it that would be fabulous.

But first, a few notes:
1. Points are determined according to their positions on the various lists (a #1 placing gets 100 points, a #2 gets 99 and so on). In the event of a tie with the totals, the highest position on any list determines who comes in higher. (If there's another tie even with that, it comes down to alphabetical order.)
2. Anyone who only appears on one country's list is discounted. You have to be on at least two, since this is an international list. The more lists, the more people and therefore the more points.
3. Er... that's it.

And now, without further ado...

1. Jessica Alba (496 points, highest position 1 on UK/US/Germany lists)
2. Scarlett Johansson (485, 2 Aus)
3. Eva Longoria (432, 2 France)
4. Angelina Jolie (413, 2 Germany)
5. Keeley Hazell (389, 1 Aus)
6. Keira Knightley (373, 9 US)
7. Christina Aguilera (352, 8 France)
8. Elisha Cuthbert (340, 10 UK)
9. Jessica Biel (334, 7 UK)
10. Beyonce Knowles (328, 17 France)
11. Carmen Electra (309, 22 UK)
12. Lindsay Lohan (305, 30 UK)
13. Eva Mendes (304, 11 UK)
14. Halle Berry (301, 14 France)
15. Alyssa Milano (295, 17 Germany)
16. Jessica Simpson (294, 14 Germany)
17. Adriana Lima (268, 4 UK)
18. Jennifer Love Hewitt (268, 14 US)
19. Kate Beckinsale (263, 13 US)
20. Evangeline Lilly (259, 13 UK)
21. Cameron Diaz (258, 20 UK)
22. Shakira (256, 7 Germany)
23. Nicole Scherzinger (253, 22 UK)
24. Charlize Theron (249, 18 Germany)
25. Gisele Bundchen (226, 4 US)
26. Maria Sharapova (226, 11 US)
27. Jennifer Aniston (216, 16 Germany)
28. Eva Green (213, 19 Aus)
29. Jennifer Lopez (197, 20 Germany)
30. Ali Larter (192, 8 Aus)
31. Nelly Furtado (188, 5 Germany)
32. Emily Scott (188, 9 UK)
33. Avril Lavigne (188, 29 UK)
34. Rihanna (184, 17 Aus)
35. Natalie Portman (183, 31 US)
36. Kirsten Dunst (181, 23 France)
37. Kate Moss (180, 31 Germany)
38. Alessandra Ambrosio (178, 5 US)
39. Hayden Panettiere (176, 6 UK)
40. Rachel Bilson (170, 34 UK)
41. Victoria Silvstedt (164, 40 Aus)
42. Sienna Miller (160, 11 Aus)
43. Britney Spears (154, 26 Germany)
44. Abigail Clancy (153, 12 Aus)
45. Jaime Pressly (149, 15 Aus)
46. Penelope Cruz (146, 38 US)
47. Heidi Klum (145, 11 Germany)
48. Katherine Heigl (138, 32 US)
49. Holly Valance (136, 18 Aus)
50. Paris Hilton (134, 19 Germany)
51. Jenna Jameson (134, 37 US)
52. Kristin Kreuk (134, 45 Germany)
53. Mischa Barton (127, 25 Germany)
54. Hilary Duff (124, 62 UK/US)
55. Clara Morgane (122, 13 France)
56. Salma Hayek (120, 18 US)
57. Rachel McAdams (120, 34 US)
58. Jennifer Garner (119, 53 US)
59. Tera Patrick (116, 59 US)
60. Megan Fox (114, 23 Aus)
61. Brooke Burke (114, 33 US)
62. Melissa Theuriau (113, 1 France)
63. Tara Reid (112, 12 Germany)
64. Pamela Anderson (112, 64 US)
65. Reese Witherspoon (111, 42 Germany)
66. Vida Guerra (107, 23 US)
67. Diora Baird (101, 25 Aus)
68. Kelly Carlson (100, 50 Aus)
69. Sarah Michelle Gellar (97, 51 France)
70. Gemma Atkinson (94, 16 Aus)
71. Gwen Stefani (91, 58 US)
72. Mariah Carey (86, 45 US)
73. Vanessa Marcil (85, 55 US)
74. Petra Nemcova (85, 57 US)
75. Kate Middleton (79, 25 UK)
76. Stacy Ferguson (79, 44 US)
77. Ana Beatriz Barros (70, 51 UK)
78. Lucy Liu (68, 52 US)
79. Kristin Cavallari (63, 48 US)
80. Tricia Helfer (60, 63 US)
81. Joanna Krupa (60, 66 Aus)
82. Kari Byron (59, 54 Aus)
83. Josie Maran (53, 63 Aus)
84. Teri Hatcher (53, 73 US)
85. Jennifer Ellison (51, 64 Aus)
86. Dita von Teese (51, 65 France)
87. Elizabeth Hurley (51, 70 US)
88. Cassie (43, 69 France)
89. Nikki Sanderson (42, 72 UK)
90. Pink (41, 64 Germany)
91. Uma Thurman (31, 83 US)
92. Kate Hudson (30, 82 Aus)
93. Sophia Bush (23, 89 US)
94. Christina Milian (12, 93 Germany)
95. Naomi Watts (12, 93 US)

What does this teach us?
1. Nicole Scherzinger defines being honoured more abroad than at home; had she made it to the US 100 (as she did with the other lists included here) she'd have come even higher.
2. Hayden Panettiere would undoubtedly have come even higher were she 18 (she remains the youngest person to get into something like this).
3. It helps to be on an American TV show; among the one-list vote-getters are Without a Trace's Roselyn Sanchez (Germany) and Prison Break's Robin Tunney (France).
4. UK FHM's attempts to persuade readers that millions the world over voted for their models and Girls Aloud are flawed.
5. Katharine McPhee hasn't exported yet.

These four things... and so on.

1. Rosanna Arquette still makes me happy even after all these years.

2. Being texted to ask if I can turn up at a pub quiz when I'm about to go to bed is the definition of bad timing.

3. There were supposed to be four things here.

4. Hilary Duff should not stand next to Hayden Panettiere.

Five reasons to watch the Kids' Choice Awards.

Okay, six.

What have I learned?

I learned that Hilary Duff performing at G-A-Y goes a long way towards atoning for the sight of Courtney Love in Trapped.

I learned that it's good for Sharon to finally win something more than £5 on the lottery.

I learned that the producers of Law & Order: Criminal Intent have only a nodding acquaintance with the concept of "shame."

I learned that the online Heroes comics at NBC's site are the first comic books in a very, very, very long time that I've read, due to my interest in such things being otherwise just about non-existent. Even after seeing the Superman movies, the X-Men movies, the Spider-Man movies, Fantastic Four, Daredevil and even The Phantom.

I learned that I deeply hate getting home too late to make any kind of proper dinner for myself

I learned that I'm too self-absorbed.

Material Girls.

Material Girls confirms once and for all where Haylie Duff stands in regard to her sister Hilary, as if there was any doubt - Hilary has a producer credit (along with her mum Susan) while poor Haylie has to make do with being a co-producer; Hilary's then-boyfriend Joel Madden has a cameo as one of the "valets" who steals the sisters' car, but Haylie's man - if she has one - doesn't turn up; and Haylie really does not match Hilary in terms of looks or talent. Not that this is exactly a great vehicle for the sisters; it was originally written for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, but it ended up being a Madonna-backed bomb for the Duffs instead (Mrs. Ritchie's Maverick Films is one of the several companies involved). If I was an Olsen fan I'd say they dodged a bullet.

To be honest, I was surprised this got a British cinema release (with its horrid reception when it came out in the US last year, and given how The Perfect Man and Raise Your Voice fared - the latter went direct to DVD in the UK...). Though it isn't really the Hilton sisters send-up it looks like, this riches-to-rags-and-back-to-riches tale has one major flaw for a comedy - it isn't funny. It isn't all that satirical (Haylie's character is the boyfriend of a guy on an OC-type show called Long Island which he promotes endlessly - The Valley it ain't, as Summer Roberts would no doubt agree), but that's okay; it gets in plugs for E!, but that's okay too (at least they didn't make up a fake entertainment channel); it just isn't funny. It actually works better as a drama than as comedy, with our heroes becoming less shallow and digging to clear their deceased dad's name, etc., and that makes it a bit more watchable than it otherwise might be... but with its mildly offensive undertones, silly turns (like Hilary being arrested as a prostitute and thrown in jail with the real things - who she promptly gives lessons in makeup to!) and the inexplicable presence of Anjelica Huston, it's probably just as well that I didn't pay for this. And don't get me started on the Duff sisters' rendition of that Madonna song (makes their version of "Our Lips Are Sealed" for A Cinderella Story seem like a classic).

But like I said, Hilary beats her sister - and it kills 90 or so minutes harmlessly enough. She's done worse (The Perfect Man, anyone? Which I did pay to see). And as a bonus, she definitely looks a hell of a lot better than she did in Cheaper By The Dozen 2 - the comedy may be synthetic, but the sexiness of Hilary's legs is real. There is a case to be made for her best movie to date still being The Lizzie McGuire Movie, mind.