The Labels Post.

"The Panettiere Spot," one of my friends dubbed this. But is he right? There's only one way to find out - see how many posts up to now I have via category and sort out the top 10 (well, maybe a bit more than 10). With apologies to those that only had one or two posts (such as Alan Silvestri, Amy Adams, Elmer Bernstein and Tom and Jerry), gradual winnowing determined that the rankings, from 10 to 1, are:

10. sisters (9 labelled posts)
9. unbelievably strokeable women, soundtracks, work work work (10 each)
8. great legs, my favourite women, TV (11 each)
7. Erica Campbell, film music (12 each)
6. proper soundtrack albums (15)
5. Jessica Alba (22)
4. stunning brunette (27)
3. Heroes (31)
2. Hayden Panettiere (41)

And the number one subject posted about here is...

1. Cindy Crawford (63)

So by a margin of 22, this remains The Cindy Spot. So there, Rachel Bilson freak. :)

The I Didn't Feel The Earth Move Under My Feet Post.

The UK had its biggest earthquake in 25 years yesterday at around 1 am. It woke Sharon up (the epicentre was far from London, but the tremors got down here), but it didn't wake me up. I sleep fairly soundly when I can. Fortunately nobody was killed (Britain is not earthquake central).

More immediately obvious to me; Sky One's Oscars red carpet show was pissed on from roughly the height of the moon by E!'s (you go, Ryan Seacrest!). The main attraction itself was not one of the great ceremonies, but no complaints about the Alba (even if she had drawn the "Tech Oscars roundup presented by a world-class hottie" slot previously filled by the likes of Jennifer Garner, Charlize Theron and Salma Hayek - safe to say Cate Blanchett and Tilda Swinton will never do it), Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, the aforementioned Mrs. Affleck, or Amy Adams.



Score Oscar presenter, performer, and centrepiece of the most memorable part of Charlie Wilson's War (along with Philip Seymour Hoffman's rant of course). Strutting down the hall with a letter, her red ponytail waving, her bottom twitching under her dress, a knowing smile on her face...

I have to go now.

The Cindy For Movieline Post.

Cindy at an event for Movieline this past weekend (the 4th Annual Hollywood Style Awards, if you must know), dazzling as ever. Here she is with Mr. Lucky:


With Vanessa Minnillo, the latest to ignore the rule about never standing next to Cindy Crawford even if you're a genuinely hot woman (a rule also broken by Teri Hatcher that night):


And Cindy by herself, just as nature intended. In a picture context, anyway.

The Is That Your Ad? I Don't Know Post.

At least Lily Allen hasn't got a perfume yet.



Musically nice, visually... well, Mariah Carey baring flesh has never been a problem for me personally. I'm sure Amelie Gillette at The Onion will slate it, but screw her.

And it demonstrates that Britney can in fact bounce back (remember when everyone was writing off Mariah after the breakdown and Glitter and so on?). Too bad Mariah still has yet to have a chart-topper in the UK that isn't a cover version...

The Vanessa Hudgens Post.

Cindy: Having seen the shot, it confirms once and for all that Vanessa is a stunner.

Feltz: It was, after all, leaked. And one can't see Vanessa choosing to respond by stripping off for a full nude shoot like Vida Guerra did.

Cindy: It probably won't harm her career much, partly because she already has Thunderbirds on her CV and partly because there were already quite a few unsavoury thoughts about her in High School Musical mode anyway.

Feltz: I can't keep it (sorry Ken).

The All The Fun Of The Fair Post.

Cindy out with her kids at the carnival in Malibu. And truly putting the fun into funfair.

The Pinch And Punch Post.

Here's Hayden leaving Radio One yesterday (and as you can see, justifying the existence of webcams). If I'd known I'd have taken yesterday off as well as Monday! Anyway, this rumour was inevitable and chord-striking for the Paire worshippers...

If I could get one of these uploaded, believe me I would. And as fantabulous as Cindy is, can we stop the "I don't like 20-year-olds, I'd rather have a MILF" talk from some posters on the likes of The Superficial? 18-year-old Hayden and 41-year-old Cindy both work for me, and others.

Cindy is amazing.

Here's my Cindy after a night out in St. Tropez earlier this week. Even drunk (or maybe just sleepy) she's utterly divine. Now that is what I call classy.

The Friday debate: Should I post a pair of pictures of Jessica Alba in Madrid without any editorial comment whatsoever?

The Friday Debate: Should Cindy Crawford Do Playboy Again?

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Jessica Alba smiled at me!

First off, the world premiere of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer in London last night suffered from several prannies on podiums in very tight silver bodysuits doing all manner of gymnastics for us outside the Vue West End. I don't know why. Not to mention a lack of people going in who I might have heard of, although the autograph hound in the crowd next to me did get the signature of a redheaded American woman going in who he later told me was Kate Walsh from Grey's Anatomy (and its spinoff Private Practice). If I watched the show I'd have been more impressed.

But it was nice to see Radio 1's Edith Bowman as one of the folks from the world media reporting on the blue carpet (not red); sadly she never came down our way so I could compliment her on how the wind blew her dress into her bottom (or at least say hi). Also, I got here a lot earlier than last time so I got a good view, and also brought The Complete Mission: Impossible Dossier with me to pass most of the six hours until showtime. And it didn't rain at all this time... if I'd brought a chair, a camera, and ESP so I wouldn't have to be in front of a tosser who kept wanting to see Michael Chiklis (apparently he's a mate of his), it would have been perfect.

Anyway, cue the folks yelling for "IOAN!!!" (one woman behind me kept demanding a kiss - I doubt she got it), "CHRIS!!!" (in sunshades, like a good showoff) "TIM STORY!!!" "MICHAEL!!!!" and of course "JESSICAAAA!!!"





Ignore the dried-up jealous haters and whipped/tasteless men on certain blogs - the Alba is better-looking in real life than in pictures; I just want to lick her from head to toe, I do. And I also want to thank the fellow on the carpet who, following the first round of signings before Jessica went to talk to the folks from GMTV, TVE, Entertainment Tonight etc., noticed my urgent calls for her to come over to my part of the crowd and escorted her over to us as soon as she was finished (he's the man next to her in the picture underneath)! Top man, sir.


Jessica's signature is now on my copy of the Fantastic Four score CD booklet (thanks to the organizers for playing some of John Ottman's sequel score over the speakers - much more welcome than the gymnasts), and by now you're asking if I managed to touch her like last time. Well, I did try... and missed her, in the words of Maxwell Smart, by that much.


But I did manage to say something to her this time around (a simple thank you), and I didn't pick up what she said... but she noticed my gesture. And for a few brief seconds, we were looking at each other. (Yes, it is sad. I don't care.) And she smiled at me!

The bloke with her definitely seemed to understand where I was coming from, which helped. But the thing is, Jessica Alba smiled at me! And having that dusky-coloured vision with almond eyes smiling at you is the stuff fantasies are made of, believe you me.

Once I've gotten my own cameraphone or digital camera or what have you, I'll be one step closer to being immortalized alongside one of the highest-ranking members of my staff. But until then, and with many, many, many thanks to Michael - otherwise known as TheArchivist - for making this possible, I leave you with this...

Butch, I own you.