Friday, July 01, 2005

Snakes and ladders

Snake: In his latest speech to the USA the Emperor exploits 9/11 to make political capital for the umpteenth time since September 12, 2001.

Ladder: In accordance with other summer repeats, this gets a low Nielsen rating (career-low is it? Join me in laughing).

Snake: Serena Williams' uglier, less talented brother knocks Maria Sharapova out of Wimbledon and ends my slight interest in the event (i.e. in the player(s) I most want to sleep with).

Ladder: It doesn't make Maria any less hot.

Snake: NTL insists on charging me for the boxes I do not have connected, and which they still haven't picked up.

Ladder: They're crediting me for the difference.

Snake: My cable box and VCR have been infected with the mentalities of George W. Bush and Queen Victoria and keep sabotaging this season of The L Word (tape ran out with the first two episodes, and the sound cut out for almost all of the third). Why couldn't it have done that during Revelations?

Ladder: It didn't play up during Confessions of a Dangerous Mind this morning on Sky Movies. (Any movie with Drew Barrymore and Maggie Gyllenhaal is worth watching - well, there was Riding in Cars with Boys - although a) the strangely sexy Maggie is only in it for about three minutes and b) Jen will certainly argue the point in the case of Drew. Good book as well.)

Snake: Pissing down with rain all this week (and yet it's still hot).

Ladder: Only two weeks to go before my holiday.

Snake: Jennifer Garner. Why, Jen? Why?!?

Ladder: Kaley Cuoco joining Charmed and Jessica Alba in Arena.

Snake: More of a workload now that the owner's son has merged his company with this one.

Ladder: Hey, it's Friday...

10 comments:

All Hail King Butcher! said...

This looks dimly familar to some other guy's Friday posts...

Cindylover1969 said...

It is? Shit, I didn't know. Here. pays you royalties and throws in a free copy of the July "Arena"

The Archivist said...

Snakes and ladders, eh?

Sorry to hear about the merging causing more work.

MuffinMan said...

Re. JenG...at least her child (who'll hopefully inherit HER charisma/talent) won't be legitimately known as a "bastard" (unlike Mr. Gigli if he does wrong by our goddess, in which case he'll be known as "dead meat"!); Re. JessA on
"Arena"...*THUD*! (an educated guess)...

All Hail King Butcher! said...

Victor? Vic? I, uh...need...another copy. I...LOST mine.

Yessss. Lost.

Cindylover1969 said...

I'll get one this weekend - where do you want it sent?

All Hail King Butcher! said...

Uh...really?

Cindylover1969 said...

Yes, really. (Unless you want to wait until after July 18; Fantastic Four has its UK premiere that day and I want to be one of the people standing outside watching the stars go in - if Jessica's there and if I manage to get it signed...)

All Hail King Butcher! said...

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

The Archivist said...

I need a copy of the July Arena... now, where to get one?