Thursday, June 30, 2005

The Cindy Spot: Mini-Muscles

Even though this blog is called "Cindy Inc.", there's been precious little posted about Cynthia Ann Crawford. To borrow a line from No Small Affair, "That is going to stop as of now." Every Thursday I'm going to discuss a little something connected with the sadly now retired from modelling supermodel-cum-MILF-cum-millionaire. And this week, we start at the bottom. Not Cindy's perfectly shaped peach which even today just begs for a spot of all-night action, but bottom in terms of quality.

Like all other models who engage in non-modelling activities, Cindy's gotten a fair amount of brickbats (from her Revlon commercial where she sang a duet with Little Richard - which seems to have made an impact on Cindy, who has almost never sung on record or on TV to this day - to the children's picture book About Face). But nothing she's ever done has been as painful to watch as her fourth sort-of exercise video, made on behalf of 24 Hour Fitness and given away in their US branches; in Britain it was sold through retail stores, and remains to this day the only thing with Cindy Crawford I've never been able to watch more than once. And yes, that includes Fair Game, Bodyguards - Guardie del Corpo (but we'll get to that in a later blogging) and that episode of According to Jim.

Mini-Muscles is aimed more at children than grownups, and revolves around Cindy, a bunch of children called the Fit-Wits (oh good grief) and a little flying insect thing called CC going on a trip around the world on behalf of the President to get the keys to good nutrition and fitness, and being battled against by a big fat ugly villain called Dr. Doubledip. It kicks off with a live-action introduction from Cindy before she leaves, with only her voice and animated likeness behind. Oh, did I forget to mention this video is a cartoon? And a shockingly badly made cartoon at that; it figures that this bringing together of two of my favourite things (Cindy Crawford and cartoons) would be a massive letdown, though it is kinda nice to see a toon version of Cindy (it's rather less nice to see animated versions of Radu and basketball star-cum-alleged rapist Kobe Bryant). Think the worst kind of Hanna-Barbera animation with sub-Jerry's Final Thought writing. Only worse.

If it's a help, it's only a half-hour before the bad doctor sees the error of his ways and everyone ends up dancing on the White House lawn to terrible, terrible music. But at least we get to see the logo for Cindy's company Craw Daddy Productions (CC flying around the aniCindy before landing on her face and becoming her mole) - come on, Cindy, executive produce a TV movie or something so we can see it again, because I really can't bear to sit through this again. Please forgive me...

2 comments:

The Archivist said...

A Cindy Crawford cartoon type thing...

I feel sorry for you that you had to put up with that, especially since I get the idea that you thought it could be a lot better.

MuffinMan said...

Loook on the bright side...at least she's not subsidizing a fraudulent religion/racket like another (so-called) female icon is...