Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Special Fantastic Four UK Premiere Snakes and Ladders

Snake: Getting to Leicester Square not quite early enough to beat the crowds.

Ladder: Still getting there in time to get a good view.

Snake: Getting wet when it decided to rain. Twice. And guess who didn't have an umbrella.

Ladder: It didn't last all that long.

Snake: Being asked to shout exultantly into the camera when it panned down my side of the crowd

Ladder: Being asked to do so by a crew from E! (better them than crappy late-night ITV magazine Entertainment Now!).

Snake: Deafening rap music being pumped out.

Ladder: One of the raps was "Fight For Your Right (To Party)."

Snake: Realising that I actually willingly chose to be in the same place as Piers Morgan. And Kelly Osbourne. And some non-entity from Big Brother. And two of the people from TRL.

Ladder: And Sophie Anderton.

Snake: The absence of one of the movie's main stars.

Ladder: It was Julian McMahon.

Snake: Risking hearing loss from girls screaming for Chris Evans.

Ladder: Joining the guys screaming "JESSICA!!! JESSICA!!!" when she was across the way from us talking to the TV folks. (Unsurprisingly a lot of us were waiting for her.)

Snake: Not actually getting to talk in any substantial way to her.

Ultimate Ladder: Not only having my copy of Arena signed by She With The Most Unfuckingbelievably Strokable Skin I Have Ever Seen In My Life, but also sacrificing any remaining dignity by deciding "Screw it, I'm never going to get another chance, I blew it with Cindy Crawford and I won't do it here" - and giving her left arm a light touch. So light she probably didn't even notice... but a touch nonetheless.

The ring finger on my right hand is now officially sacred.


All Hail King Butcher! said...


The Archivist said...

You did well, CindyLover!!

MuffinMan said...

No doubt that issue of "Arena" is one item we'll NEVER see put on eBay...good work, my friend! :)))