Thursday, July 07, 2005

The Cindy Spot: Those Pepsi ads. (Well, four of them.)

Cindy once said "Commercial is not a bad word to me."And face it, it's only fair - models are supposed to sell you things, to ship you fantasies; that's what they're there for. Which is why throughout her career Cindy has never been too shy about promoting goods both at home and abroad; it might seem mercenary to some, but it certainly beats saying you don't do ads and then going around doing ads. Not to mention refusing to do commericals at home and doing them overseas, like in Japan for instance...

The full list of services the moled one has endorsed could fill a book; some successfully (Cindy has maintained a long and happy relationship with Omega), a few not so successfully (Kellogg's Special K was a rare misstep). One of her most successful corporate tie-ins has been with Pepsi, of course; I'd be very surprised if my good friend Top Dogg hasn't seen that one with the two little boys, but here's a shocker for him, MuffinMan, KMB, Butch, Jen and all the rest.

I didn't like it.

Not because of the presence of "Just One Look," not because of the way the Pepsi logo had been redesigned to resemble the latter-day New World Pictures one, and certainly not because of Cindy Crawford in denim shorts. No, it was because we were supposed to find it cute and funny that those little boys were drooling over the Pepsi can (yes, I know about the "can" reference, thanks) when frickin' Cindy Crawford was standing right in front of them. Not Michael Crawford, not Broderick Crawford, but CINDY CRAWFORD, dammit; it annoyed me in 1992 and it annoys me now. If the boys had been gay and knew it it would be one thing, but... (It helped a bit to find out that in real life the boys were going "Yo Cindy! Yo babe!" all the time.)

If it hadn't been for the above, the science experiment one - where Cindy is deprived of Pepsi for a period of time and ends up turning into Rodney Dangerfield (R.I.P.) - would be my least favourite. But it does come a pretty close second. Maybe it's because if these ads are using fantasy women they ought to be treated as such instead of getting all winking and send-upping on us (is "send-upping" a word? If it isn't, it is now). Although then again, there is a limit in some cases.

Cindy ain't one of them, though.

Much more fun: the one where scientists are looking at Pepsi drops through a microscope and see a guy relaxing in the garden with Cindy walking behind him pushing a lawnmower and cuddling him. And the one where a little newborn baby called Norman Feeney becomes a lifelong Pepsi drinker after Cindy, Bridget Hall and Tyra Banks of America's Next Top Model infamy visit him in maternity. That could work. And then, of course, there was the remake of that ad in 2002.

The two boys still irritated me, but this time Cindy had her own children with her waiting in the car (Presley and Kaia have also been with Cindy in print ads for EAS). Like the lady said, some things never change and some things do; blessedly, her being a dream in denim shorts is one of the former. Who the hell are you, Kate Moss?

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