I Want Candy: so do I, but I can't have as much as I want...

Elisha Cuthbert, Natalie Portman and Jessica Alba all got flak in some corners for playing porn stars and strippers who didn't take everything off, but Elisha appeared in a thong and showed up the lie in her statement to FHM ("I don't really have an ass"), Natalie's nudity still exists on a cutting room floor somewhere, and Jessica's too hot for that to really be an issue... but what's the excuse when Carmen Electra plays a porn star in a movie where there's more male nudity than female, and where Carmen never goes naked herself? Is this Nip/Tuck or something?

That's not the biggest thing wrong with I Want Candy, but it certainly doesn't help (ditto the fact that Michelle Ryan, as the waitress who helps the film student heroes in making their movies, is actually more fanciable than Carmen - but then again Carmen gets funnier moments than Michelle, so it evens out). The tale of two student filmmakers who have to make a short movie for their professor (Mackenzie Crook) and who somehow find themselves doing an ambitious porn movie for a sleazy producer is actually pretty inoffensive - even with a gag about one of the actors prematurely ejaculating (and spraying the lighting guy, ho ho) - but it seems kind of timid, more like Three's Company but without the late lamented John Ritter. Plus, it just isn't very funny... Sky Movies was one of the companies involved, and it does seem like it would be better on TV, with its small scale and undeveloped script. Like bad sex, it just seems to be going through the motions.

The bit where Carmen and the director argue about which Police Academy movie is better did make me laugh, though. But otherwise, The Girl Next Door pisses all over this (what with being funny, being sexy, having an actually thought-through plot, etc). Oh, and why was Melanie C allowed to do a cover version of the song of the same name? Huh?