The Ten Reasons Why "The One Show" Is The Only Thing I Tune Into On BBC1 Post.

1.
2.
3.

And so on.

The In Memory Of Trouble Post.

Trouble, the cable channel that used to be The Children's Channel but gradually focused on teens and later on younger people in general (i.e. not older people), is being axed by Virgin Media - and repurposed for sister channel Living. The idea is that not content with having Living and Living2 AND having +1 channels for both of them, it'll eventually become Living3.

I have nothing really against Living - it may have contributed to the swollen ego of Tyra Banks (who, as The Soup pointed out, recognises that you can't spell "mentor" without "me") by running America's Next Top Model and Britain's Next Top Model, and it may have been a major player in the Jade Goody Affair, but any channel that brought UK viewers Charmed, The L Word, Veronica Mars and Boston Legal has to have something in its favour. Nonetheless, Trouble will be missed... aren't there enough lifestyle channels out there already?

The It Figures Post.

You know what they say about the child being the father of the man.

Pushing Daisies and Gossip Girl, coming soon to ITV1 and ITV2 respectively. And already a clash with the latter what with it being on the same night as My Name Is Earl. Not at the same time (9pm for the one, 10pm for the other), but if they're being taped I can't honestly see Sharon - a big fan of Earl Hickey's travails - taking to a series like this. Repeats, please? (What am I saying? This is ITV2. They repeat EVERYTHING.)

STOP PRESS: Oh. Apparently they are on at the same time (both at 10pm). Wonderful. Thank goodness for ITV2+1, is all I can say. And, not for the first time, Channel 4+1. And, like I said, repeats.

The Wait, That Was IT?!? Post.

As if this past week wasn't rough enough what with one person leaving in a pique and another just leaving (and increasing the workload thusly, though bless sweet Anna for letting me know that we're getting three new people on Monday), today I finally got around to watching the episodes of Ghost Whisperer and Veronica Mars that I'd taped last week. Except the former was missing and the latter was the last episode.

Not that Trouble bothered to advertise it as such, not so I'd notice. But anyway, I have to admit that I really didn't think it was going to end on such an abrupt note - no one was in danger but to leave all the main current plots hanging forever... dubbed "The Bitch Is Back" in tribute to CW programming head Dawn Ostroff, apparently. Subtle, Rob Thomas and Diane Ruggiero. Very subtle. (Less laudably, there is no excuse for having Kristen Bell sing James Blunt. None, you hear me? None.)

Not that the third season overall was as good as the previous two, anyway. But it was still a good show which deserved better than it got not only at home but over here... never mind, Rob Thomas will be back, and so will Kristen now she's gotten the spot of the most lickable person on Heroes not called Hayden Panettiere (the countdown to Maxim sniffing around to pair them up starts... now).

As for Ghost Whisperer, at least they're repeating the first four episodes tomorrow. Remember, in order to tell you her story, she has to tell you theirs.

Four not-vital but annoying questions for a Friday.

1. Why did Joel Madden go from Hilary Duff to Nicole Richie?
2. Why are more people in the UK watching Big Brother than Heroes (at least on BBC2)? Are you lot high, or just incredibly stupid?
3. Why does Stardust have a song by Take That (which is at least not on the soundtrack album)?
4. Why are none of the pictures of Cindy Crawford with Vanessa Hudgens at the High School Musical 2 premiere available in a format I can put on this blog?

Saturday - hot, not hungry, and the dog won't shut up.

The first purchases of new US shows for the UK were announced last week, and they've been bagged by ITV. This is a conditional Feltz thanks to ITV's long history of fucking up US shows... anyway, they've got Pushing Daisies (one of the few I can really get worked up about; I just hope it's more successful than Anna Friel's last US show The Jury), Swingtown and Cane, and aim to have all three on their digital channels (Pushing Daisies on ITV2 and the other two on ITV3) with the first two getting airings on ITV1 as well. The thing is, they said that last year about Six Degrees, and we all know how that turned out. Plus... well...

Supernatural - 9 or 10 on ITV2, around 11 if it's on ITV1.
Numb3rs - ditto on ITV3, ditto on ITV1.
The Inside - late on ITV4, never on ITV1. (Admittedly it didn't really deserve any better.)
Friday Night Lights - 8pm on ITV4, never on ITV1.
Surface - early evenings on ITV2, Saturday afternoons on ITV1 (and terrestrial didn't even complete it).
Entourage - late on all its ITV channels.

And so on. And they got Law & Order: Trial By Jury (the only Law & Order series to be a flop). Way to go, ITV. Still, they have to come up trumps sometime.

What do two members of my staff (including Queen Cindy) and Ali Larter have to do with it? Well... um... nothing. (Although ITV back when they were still genuinely regionalised did show Cindy's Fox special about stuntwomen, which I still have on tape off Carlton's airing; and I think they screened Varsity Blues... and Hayden was definitely on This Morning when she came here to promote Racing Stripes. See, I can link anything!)

Rules of Engagement

Having checked this out on Paramount Comedy, I think this show stays on the air for one or more of the following reasons:

1. People hoping that Adam Sandler will show up since this is made by Happy Madison Productions.

2. Folks hoping Patrick Warburton and David Spade will recapture that Emperor's New Groove chemistry.

3. Guys who've been waiting for another chance to drool over Bianca Kajlich and/or Megyn Price ever since the mercy killings of Rock Me Baby and Grounded For Life. (Marla Sokoloff > Bianca > Megyn - and you know, Big Day's been chopped now...)

4. Because it's incredibly witty and funny and original... no, that was a joke.

For some true entertainment, my Cindy in Venice and below in the best part of The Simian Line.

I like Sunday Sundays

What Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is to Defamer, Gilmore girls is likely to be to The Jay - so the CW's announcement that Lorelai the Elder and Lorelai the Younger are leaving the lineup this year will no doubt lead to a celebratory post from him any day now, as well as making the chances of Veronica Mars getting a fourth season slightly better (this is their third hour-long show to be axed after 7th Heaven and Runaway - what are they going to do, show more reruns of America's Next Top Pandering To Tyra's Ego?). Shame on those of us who like both shows, though - but at least Veronica's back on UK screens. Even if it is on Trouble. (Thanks for letting it go, Living - no room for Miss Mars on the lineup but endless hours of Most Haunted, Tyra and the girls, and a reality show with Abigail Clancy and Janice Dickinson? Cheers.)

Meanwhile, Sharon's under more and more financial pressure, and the guilt's weighing on me because I need to move onto something that pays more, so I can help her more... but can I do it? Apparently not.

I need something to perk me up, please. Ah, here we are - two of my Hall of Famers: Rosanna Arquette tying in with What About Brian. And the queen.

300 words.

That's all I want to put on this post.

So. I'm bored. And boring. If I start to write something and I'm not in the least bit interested, just think how you reader (like I have multiple viewers) must feel.

The solution would be to lie. But that ain't something either. So...

Actually, it's all loose ends. I want to get through a post without mentioning Heroes, but now that's gone out the window. I could gloat about how the fuss about phone-in quiz shows has led to a long-overdue and probably only temporary removal of the spacewasters, but I can't be bothered. And there is no way I'm complaining about banks again. So let's just go all stream of consciousness. (120) Whatever comes to mind.

Hey, Dangerous Liasions is on. Not the one with Michelle Pfeiffer and Uma Thurman, the one made for European TV with Nastassja Kinski and Leelee Sobieski! And Catherine Deneuve, but you gotta take the rough with the smooth. At least there's no Pacey from Dawson's Creek with an awful dye job.

Hearing about Stargazerz member Zahir losing his fiancee truly sucked. The poor guy.

Ditto John Inman from Are You Being Served? There was a calypso years back about the show; can't find a link to it anywhere. (That was Barbados for you - also ditties about Sanford and Son and J.R. Ewing.)

I hate overeating.

The phrase "Best of British" sets my teeth on edge. Where does this place get off calling itself "Great Britain"? At least the US doesn't call itself "Great America." Alliteration is, sometimes, evil.

I also hate charity telethons. Almost as much as I hate parades. Comic Relief is next week. I shall be sure to be out of the flat on that night.

Why was yours truly not informed of Patricia Araujo working in London earlier? (287)

And with only ten words left - no, wait, now it's three... two... done!

I love Sunday Mondays

So this isn't Monday. Sue me.

Having dragged myself to work on Thursday and Friday in spite of being weakened by a) a flu or cold bug, I'm never sure which, do I look like Marcus Welby?*; and b) having gone without lunch for three days straight due to no actual money to buy lunch with (many blessings yet again to Sharon for her help in this and so many other areas), I'm spending the weekend and tomorrow at home - weekend to fully get over it and Monday to fully get over it and because coughing and not feeling really strong enough aren't conducive to standing waiting for the N5 at 5 in the darn morning.

Plus to the great delight of Evil, I might even get some writing done (Sundays are my day off... although I would love it if I could not treat it as work. Any assistance most welcome).

Coming up this week... the return of Prison Break on Five. Sadly, this seems to be another of my shows that Sharon is unlikely to be checking out, and equally sadly I've already had at least one twist given away, alas. (And won't it be fun for the ol' VCR when Heroes starts on Sci-Fi at the same time in a month.)

And finally, if Mike is reading this (and he is), I hope he'll keep me informed on Cindy's visit to his shores in March. Otherwise if by some wonderful chance Rachel Bilson fetches up here for some reason or other... *evil smile*

*I know we've racked up thirty-seven years worth of fictional men and women of medicine since he came along (the same year I did), but I'd rather see him by my bedside than Gregory House or anyone from Grey's Anatomy. And yes, that does include Izzie.