Friday, April 15, 2005

Ivana Diamonds for PM!

I've never been able to commit to one side or another, ideologically speaking. The right is too damn illiberal and inflexible for my tastes, and the left is too holier-than-thou for me to feel comfortable. At best, I like to go for middle-of-road.

Which always leaves me in a bind in times like this, with an election coming up. The Labour Party? Never been a real supporter of Tony Blair, and he also has the disadvantage of not being worksafe (the person in charge of Ashurst is a dyed-in-the-wool Tory, and we do a lot of mailing for that bunch of twats... biased, me?). The Liberal Democrats? Jen, Ken and yours truly have a better chance of nailing the Charmed Ones than Charles Kennedy has of moving into No.10 Downing Street. And as for the Conservatives - they are the Republicans of Great Britain. And let's not forget to mention the prospect of listening to Michael Howard non-stop until 2010. No thank you.

I usually cast my vote towards someone else - anyone else but one of the two... okay, three... main parties. If it was up to me I'd vote for someone who's really pleased me at some point in the past eight years or so. Someone who hasn't been behind the Millennium Dome or Cool fucking Britannia. Someone unlikely to be in bed with the Tories. If I do bother to vote I know who the candidate'll be - as Roc from the sitcom of the same name said, "He's gonna be white!"

But for my money, I'd sooner vote for Ivana Diamonds. (Not only is it obviously not worksafe, but I must warn you that she is what is known as a T-girl. A staggeringly beautiful one - what, did you expect me to link to an ugly one? - but one nonetheless. But I still trust her more than Blair or Howard...)

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