Thursday, May 04, 2006

Reason to hate boybands part several zillion

On May Day I went to see Ice Age: The Meltdown; not as good as the original, which I've seen a few times (including once on a plane dubbed in Portuguese, which is still better than watching Daddy Day Care in English), but okay enough... until the closing credits came up.
In recent times, Fox and DreamWorks have done some customizing of their animated movies for English-speaking non-US territories, with Fox doing a better job initially (Shark Tale was already excruciating enough without GMTV's super-irritating Fiona Phillips dubbing over the voice of Katie Couric, whereas Terry Wogan doing the villain's dad in Robots wasn't a misstep), but tack-on pop songs didn't work with Robots and worked even less here, with most of the score suite over the credits replaced by a song from Lee Ryan. Ex-member of Blue Lee Ryan. Talentless, brainless dickhead Lee Ryan. Song that doesn't even begin to fit in with the rest of the movie and which isn't on the CD Lee Ryan. I'm going to be sick.
No, I'll just list other painful cinema experiences.* That'll be better.

Five Other Experiences In Cinemas That Made Me Want To Shoot Somebody:

1. Thunderbirds. Pro: Seeing it for free at a preview screening. Con: Seeing that the print had most of the end credits removed, making it feel as if I was watching a movie on FTA television and capping an already excruciating morning at the movies.
2. Super Mario Bros. And any other movie based on a video game, but this was the first one I saw.
3. Mary Reilly. As part of the day I went to see four movies (Jumanji, this one, Strange Days and GoldenEye); the projection went wrong and it had to start all over again from the beginning. They shouldn't have bothered.
4. Billy Bathgate. Someone had taken the scissors to it and cut out all of Nicole Kidman's nude scenes, thus making an already boring movie even more boring.
5. Chicken Little. Two words: Squalling. Baby.

*If Jen is reading this, a cinema is a large building which projects movies on a screen somewhat larger than a TV set, with better sound.

1 comment:

The Archivist said...

They cut out Nicole's nude scenes? I'm appalled.