The Weekend Post.

L.A.M.B. Love. Angel. Music. Baby. or Leggy. Amazing. MILFy. Beautiful?

You can decide when Gwen has the revolving spot next week.

The And Now A Word From Our Sponsor Post.

Nadine Coyle from Girls Aloud (you know, the one who hangs around with the guy who used to be the gardener from Desperate Housewives) has said she won't do nude shoots because she claims the human body, whether male or female, is not beautiful. In some cases this is true. In other cases, here's Gwen Stefani.

And so Mike won't be too cross, one of Seven's "Gotta Love That" spots including America Ferrera and Hayden Panettiere.

The glory that is Cindy Crawford.

MTV Award-winner, chart-topping MILF and Gilmore girls scourge Gwen Stefani used to have a chest closer to Sandra Bullock than Keeley Hazell; but since she spawned Kingston, Gwen's developed a detectable rack (somehow I can't see her going the Christina Aguileraisacunt route to bust improvement). This might also explain the startling measurements shown by the Queen in these candid shots - what with her having been out and about recently they can't be implants. Regardless, stunning as ever. Not for the first or last time, thank you Cindy...

The FHM 95 (not 100, not yet)

Since every country's FHM list is different, you can't have one be proclaimed the ultimate; which is why I decided to try and compile one massive Sexiest Women in the World list based on their votes. This is based on the five complete lists I've managed to get so far (UK, USA, Australia, France and Germany) - if anyone can get me the rest of the various 100s so I can update it that would be fabulous.

But first, a few notes:
1. Points are determined according to their positions on the various lists (a #1 placing gets 100 points, a #2 gets 99 and so on). In the event of a tie with the totals, the highest position on any list determines who comes in higher. (If there's another tie even with that, it comes down to alphabetical order.)
2. Anyone who only appears on one country's list is discounted. You have to be on at least two, since this is an international list. The more lists, the more people and therefore the more points.
3. Er... that's it.

And now, without further ado...

1. Jessica Alba (496 points, highest position 1 on UK/US/Germany lists)
2. Scarlett Johansson (485, 2 Aus)
3. Eva Longoria (432, 2 France)
4. Angelina Jolie (413, 2 Germany)
5. Keeley Hazell (389, 1 Aus)
6. Keira Knightley (373, 9 US)
7. Christina Aguilera (352, 8 France)
8. Elisha Cuthbert (340, 10 UK)
9. Jessica Biel (334, 7 UK)
10. Beyonce Knowles (328, 17 France)
11. Carmen Electra (309, 22 UK)
12. Lindsay Lohan (305, 30 UK)
13. Eva Mendes (304, 11 UK)
14. Halle Berry (301, 14 France)
15. Alyssa Milano (295, 17 Germany)
16. Jessica Simpson (294, 14 Germany)
17. Adriana Lima (268, 4 UK)
18. Jennifer Love Hewitt (268, 14 US)
19. Kate Beckinsale (263, 13 US)
20. Evangeline Lilly (259, 13 UK)
21. Cameron Diaz (258, 20 UK)
22. Shakira (256, 7 Germany)
23. Nicole Scherzinger (253, 22 UK)
24. Charlize Theron (249, 18 Germany)
25. Gisele Bundchen (226, 4 US)
26. Maria Sharapova (226, 11 US)
27. Jennifer Aniston (216, 16 Germany)
28. Eva Green (213, 19 Aus)
29. Jennifer Lopez (197, 20 Germany)
30. Ali Larter (192, 8 Aus)
31. Nelly Furtado (188, 5 Germany)
32. Emily Scott (188, 9 UK)
33. Avril Lavigne (188, 29 UK)
34. Rihanna (184, 17 Aus)
35. Natalie Portman (183, 31 US)
36. Kirsten Dunst (181, 23 France)
37. Kate Moss (180, 31 Germany)
38. Alessandra Ambrosio (178, 5 US)
39. Hayden Panettiere (176, 6 UK)
40. Rachel Bilson (170, 34 UK)
41. Victoria Silvstedt (164, 40 Aus)
42. Sienna Miller (160, 11 Aus)
43. Britney Spears (154, 26 Germany)
44. Abigail Clancy (153, 12 Aus)
45. Jaime Pressly (149, 15 Aus)
46. Penelope Cruz (146, 38 US)
47. Heidi Klum (145, 11 Germany)
48. Katherine Heigl (138, 32 US)
49. Holly Valance (136, 18 Aus)
50. Paris Hilton (134, 19 Germany)
51. Jenna Jameson (134, 37 US)
52. Kristin Kreuk (134, 45 Germany)
53. Mischa Barton (127, 25 Germany)
54. Hilary Duff (124, 62 UK/US)
55. Clara Morgane (122, 13 France)
56. Salma Hayek (120, 18 US)
57. Rachel McAdams (120, 34 US)
58. Jennifer Garner (119, 53 US)
59. Tera Patrick (116, 59 US)
60. Megan Fox (114, 23 Aus)
61. Brooke Burke (114, 33 US)
62. Melissa Theuriau (113, 1 France)
63. Tara Reid (112, 12 Germany)
64. Pamela Anderson (112, 64 US)
65. Reese Witherspoon (111, 42 Germany)
66. Vida Guerra (107, 23 US)
67. Diora Baird (101, 25 Aus)
68. Kelly Carlson (100, 50 Aus)
69. Sarah Michelle Gellar (97, 51 France)
70. Gemma Atkinson (94, 16 Aus)
71. Gwen Stefani (91, 58 US)
72. Mariah Carey (86, 45 US)
73. Vanessa Marcil (85, 55 US)
74. Petra Nemcova (85, 57 US)
75. Kate Middleton (79, 25 UK)
76. Stacy Ferguson (79, 44 US)
77. Ana Beatriz Barros (70, 51 UK)
78. Lucy Liu (68, 52 US)
79. Kristin Cavallari (63, 48 US)
80. Tricia Helfer (60, 63 US)
81. Joanna Krupa (60, 66 Aus)
82. Kari Byron (59, 54 Aus)
83. Josie Maran (53, 63 Aus)
84. Teri Hatcher (53, 73 US)
85. Jennifer Ellison (51, 64 Aus)
86. Dita von Teese (51, 65 France)
87. Elizabeth Hurley (51, 70 US)
88. Cassie (43, 69 France)
89. Nikki Sanderson (42, 72 UK)
90. Pink (41, 64 Germany)
91. Uma Thurman (31, 83 US)
92. Kate Hudson (30, 82 Aus)
93. Sophia Bush (23, 89 US)
94. Christina Milian (12, 93 Germany)
95. Naomi Watts (12, 93 US)

What does this teach us?
1. Nicole Scherzinger defines being honoured more abroad than at home; had she made it to the US 100 (as she did with the other lists included here) she'd have come even higher.
2. Hayden Panettiere would undoubtedly have come even higher were she 18 (she remains the youngest person to get into something like this).
3. It helps to be on an American TV show; among the one-list vote-getters are Without a Trace's Roselyn Sanchez (Germany) and Prison Break's Robin Tunney (France).
4. UK FHM's attempts to persuade readers that millions the world over voted for their models and Girls Aloud are flawed.
5. Katharine McPhee hasn't exported yet.

Five reasons to watch the Kids' Choice Awards.

Okay, six.