The SAOR Guide To The New US Shows III: Back In Training Post.

Partly because of that accursed writers' strike, the upfronts haven't been as flashy as previous years, and to be honest most of the shows coming along (with the exception of one network) haven't really fired my interest. But does that mean no posting of my completely irrelevant and inaccurate views? No chance. This year's rundown to the new shows - apart from the reality ones, natch (and shows swapping networks, like Scrubs and WWE Smackdown! - and their chances of arriving on British screens is brought to you by the stars of last year's undoubted winner in the SAOR newcomers' stakes, Gossip Girl. (Apologies for the presence of Penn Badgley.)

ABC
The Goode Family
About: A family that defines "the road to hell is paved with good intentions."
Will I Watch It? I'm not a great admirer of Mike Judge's King of the Hill, and the title is a groaner. So maybe not.
Altierre Factor: This does not apply to cartoons. Usually.
Chances Of Being In The UK? Pretty good based on Judge's past record. But I can't see it on terrestrial.

Life On Mars
About: A cop who following an accident finds himself in the '70s.
Will I Watch It? I didn't watch the original version, so no.
Altierre Factor: Rachelle Lefèvre and Stephanie Jacobsen are not my ideas of ugly.
Chances Of Being In The UK? After Fitz (aka Cracker) and especially what's invariably billed in listings mags as The Office: An American Workplace, not the impossibility it might have been.

CBS
Eleventh Hour
About: A fellow who's called in to investigate scientific problems at the... you guessed it. From Jerry Bruckheimer.
Will I Watch It: See Life On Mars. Plus the executive producers include the folks behind Brimstone, which doesn't help.
Altierre Factor: Only Marley Shelton, so not really feeling it.
Chances Of Being In The UK? Since the original show didn't work too well, and since all Jerry Bruckheimer's previous shows have turned up over here, maybe.

The Ex List
About: A woman on a search to find her soulmate who she's already met without knowing it. Based on a hit Israeli show.
Will I Watch It? With Veronica Mars graduate Diane Ruggiero on board, maybe.
Altierre Factor: It's not out of the question that some may be drawn to Elizabeth Reaser and Rachel Boston.
Chances Of Being In The UK? Hallmark? Living? Fiver?

Harper's Island
About: A group of friends on an island in danger from a killer. Yes, that's a premise for a whole series.
Will I Watch It? No. Limited-sounding launching pad aside, it's from Jon Turteltaub. I'm not going through Jericho Syndrome again.
Altierre Factor: No idea.
Chances Of Being In The UK? Reunion and Runaway came over, so...

The Mentalist
About: A brilliant and unconventional detective. Aren't they all?
Will I Watch It? Well, I do watch Monk when I can, and occasionally the odd part of Psych.
Altierre Factor: Robin Tunney and Amanda Righetti. So not bad.
Chances Of Being In The UK? Possibilities - BBC2, ITV's digital channels, Hallmark...

Project Gary
About: A divorced dad getting back in the game.
Will I Watch It?: Well, Jay Mohr plays Gary so it could be worth a look.
Altierre Factor: Paula Marshall is the ex. But with her on board... well, with her record...
Chances Of Being In The UK? Don't know.

Worst Week
About: A man who wants to get in good with his girlfriend's family but can't quite do it.
Will I Watch It? See Life On Mars.
Altierre Factor: Not thrilled with Erinn Hayes.
Chances Of Being In The UK? Maybe not.

The CW
90210
About: The classic zip code getting revisited with a new family.
Will I Watch It? Maybe the pilot, and a few more. Dunno.
Altierre Factor: CW shows usually have at least a few reasons in this department, starting with Jennie "Kelly Taylor" Garth being back on board as a link to the original show.
Chances Of Being In The UK? Trouble? Living? Maybe even Sky One (which aired the original, as did ITV... which almost certainly won't show this)?

Surviving The Filthy Rich
About: A young woman having to tutor filthy rich kids. Hence the title.
Will I Watch It? Maybe, maybe not.
Altierre Factor: Joanna Garcia.
Chances Of Being In The UK? Not sure. E4 maybe? They sop up US shows.

FOX
The Cleveland Show
About: Cleveland from Family Guy getting his own show.
Will I Watch It? Unlikely.
Altierre Factor: Be serious.
Chances Of Being In The UK? FX?

Dollhouse
About: People sent on assignments with their personalities wiped clean afterwards. Or are they...?
Will I Watch It? It's Joss Whedon's return to television and no sacrifice of Jessica Alba is involved, so yes.
Altierre Factor: Eliza Freaking Dushku!
Chances Of Being In The UK? Guaranteed. Sky One or Virgin 1. Or maybe Sci-Fi. Even BBC2 can't be ruled out.

Do Not Disturb
About: The shenanigans behind the scenes at a successful hotel.
Will I Watch It? Arrested Development's Abraham Higginbotham scripted the pilot, and Jerry O'Connell's always likeable.
Altierre Factor: Not immediately apparent.
Chances Of Being In The UK? Better than chances of boring comparisons to Fawlty Towers not being made if it is.

Fringe
About: FBI agents searching for the solutions to weird mysteries (cue complaints from fans of The X Files, right?).
Will I Watch It? Despite the extremely mixed track record of Roberto Orci, ALex Kurtzman and J.J. Abrams, yes.
Altierre Factor: Anna Torv is certainly more promising in that department than Joshua Jackson.
Chances Of Being In The UK? Very good. Even after What About Brian and Six Degrees.

Sit Down, Shut Up
About: The bitter-and-twisted staff of a school. Animated version of a live-action Australian show...
Will I Watch It? ...from numerous Arrested Development alumni.
Altierre Factor: See The Cleveland Show and Do Not Disturb.
Chances Of Being In The UK? I think it'll turn up.

NBC
Crusoe
About: Man gets shipwrecked, spends years pining for his wife, meets fellow he calls Friday.
Will I Watch It? "Part MacGyver, part Cast Away, part Pirates of the Caribbean," eh? As long as the latter doesn't have the biggest part.
Altierre Factor: Not entirely sure about Anna Walton (Crusoe's wife).
Chances Of Being In The UK: I believe it is definitely going to be shown here, since it's part UK-backed anyway.

Kath & Kim
About: A mother and daughter who clash a lot. Based on the hit Australian sitcom...
Will I Watch It? ...which I don't watch and don't plan to. Ever.
Altierre Factor: There are those who pine for Selma Blair (who plays Kim) and even Molly Shannon (Kath).
Chances Of Being In The UK: Could go either way. The original show's been on here, so...

Kings
About: A soldier caught up in a battle between good and evil.
Will I Watch It? It certainly sounds interesting, though with the director of Constantine (ugh) and I Am Legend (better) on board it probably won't catch fire at once. The presence of Heroes alumni Michael Green helps.
Altierre Factor: Allison Miller (the king's daughter) and Susanna Thompson (Once and Again, The Book of Daniel) bear investigation. The latter also suggests worthiness for the right reasons.
Chances Of Being In The UK: The presence of Ian McShane certainly helps.

Knight Rider
About: NBC hopefully having the next Battlestar Galactica rather than the next Bionic Woman.
Will I Watch It? Yes. It can't be worse than Team Knight Rider or that Knight Rider 2000 TV movie, even if they replaced Will Arnett with Val Kilmer as the voice of KITT.
Altierre Factor: Sydney Tamiia Poitier is always hot. This will not change here.
Chances Of Being In The UK: Excellent.

The Listener
About: A paramedic who can read minds. Hello, high concept.
Will I Watch It? Maybe.
Altierre Factor: No idea as yet.
Chances Of Being In The UK: Hallmark, maybe?

Merlin
About: Merlin and King Arthur in their younger days in a revisioning of the legend. For some reason this brings up images of Young Hercules and that recent version of Robin Hood...
Will I Watch It? ...and therefore makes this a very strong "Not entirely sure veering on no."
Altierre Factor: Angel Coulby and Katie McGrath. Not bad.
Chances Of Being In The UK: Definitely airing on BBC1 Saturday evenings.

My Own Worst Enemy
About: Christian Slater finding he has a secret identity as a walking weapon.
Will I Watch It? Will anyone watch it? It sounds interesting, but it's scheduled after Heroes - and that slot has yet to do any favours for any show on at that time (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Journeyman, and so on).
Altierre Factor: Saffron Burrows alert.
Chances Of Being In The UK: Not out of the question.

The Office Spinoff
About: A spinoff of The Office.
Will I Watch It? No.
Altierre Factor: No idea.
Chances Of Being In The UK: See above.

The Philanthropist
About: "A renegade billionaire who uses his wealth, connections and power to help people in need." As you do.
Will I Watch It? Maybe. It does sound up my alley.
Altierre Factor: TBC.
Chances Of Being In The UK: Quite possible. Maybe even Five.

In memory of: 1 vs. 100, Amne$ia, Anchorwoman, Aliens in America, Back to You*, Beauty and the Geek*, Big Shots, Bionic Woman*, Cane*, Canterbury's Law, Carpoolers, Cashmere Mafia (Darren Star strikes out again!), Cavemen, Clash of the Choirs, Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants, CW Now, Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann, Girlfriends*, Here Come the Newlyweds, Jericho* (for good this time), Journeyman*, Just for Laughs, K-Ville*, Kid Nation, Las Vegas*, Life Is Wild, Men in Trees*, Miss/Guided, Moonlight*, My Dad Is Better Than Your Dad, Nashville, New Amsterdam, Next Great American Band, Notes From the Underbelly, October Road, Online Nation, Oprah's Big Give, Phenomenon, Power Of 10, Pussycat Dolls Presents: Girlicious*, quarterlife, The Return of Jezebel James, Secret Talents of the Stars, Shark*, The Singing Bee, Unhitched, Viva Laughlin*, Welcome to the Captain, Women's Murder Club.

* = Shown, or due to be shown, in the UK.