Thursday, August 04, 2005

The Cindy Spot: Bodyguards

In the summer of 1995, I was desperately looking forward to Fair Game; then it was delayed in the US until the autumn, and got pushed back here as well... well, when it finally came out, it didn't go down well in cinemas. But when it arrived on Sky Movies, it was never eventually consigned to wee hours showings, which suggests it didn't get particularly bad figures. That's just my theory, anyway.

Cindy went on in her occasional forays into acting to make better projects (like The Simian Line), and also worse ones. Which brings us to Bodyguards - Guardie del Corpo, a movie that she never seems to talk about, with good reason. Not related to the Kevin Costner-Whitney Houston stinker, this Italian comedy from 2000 about three bumbling ex-cops who become bodyguards to the famous (the female famous) was never released to cinemas outside the domestic market and has yet to emerge on video/DVD with subtitles or English dubbing, which is another way of saying that when I bought a copy of the movie while visiting Zeta in Luxembourg it was in the original Italian. Not that that made any difference.

If you click on the heading you can read my review for the IMDb (one of only three for said movie), but suffice to say that it's very crude, very shouty, and very, very unfunny. And that Victoria Silvstedt is in it. And that Modjo could probably retire from the royalties Filmauro paid for playing "Lady" so many times in the movie. And that even though Cindy is billed third, she doesn't appear until the last 25 minutes (like Victoria, Anna Falchi and Australian model Megan Gale, Cindy plays herself as one of the guards' clients); like Will Ferrell in the Meet the Parents-without-the-charm that is Wedding Crashers, her arrival does make the movie a bit better - even if she is (really badly) dubbed in Italian. But trust me, you can see why she doesn't mention it... embarrassing for all concerned.

The amazing thing is, it's still better than The Bodyguard - I'd rather have Cindy playing twins and modelling sexy blue swimwear than Whitney Houston doing anything.

1 comment:

The Archivist said...

I'm not entirely certain, but I get the idea that you think Bodyguards could have been a lot better, saved as it was with the appearance of Cindy Crawford.