The Tie It In A Ribbon Made Of Gold And Give It To Cindy Post.

This is how I voted on FHM's Sexiest Women In The World poll this year:

1. Cindy Crawford
2. Jessica Alba
3. Hayden Panettiere
4. Monica Bellucci
5. Gwen Stefani
6. Rihanna
7. Hilary Duff
8. Erica Campbell
9. Ashley Tisdale
10. Vanessa Hudgens

When I pressed "SEND" I realised that for the first time in years neither Rosanna Arquette nor Paula Abdul (who's turned up as herself on an episode of Hotel Babylon on BBC1, weirdly) made it into a list like this from my pen. Times change. And yet Cindy still reigns supreme.

Well, at least she does with me - I know there's no chance she'll make the upper reaches of FHM's annual publicity-getter. As opposed to Rihanna, whose birthday it also is today (the Charlize Theron of Barbados is 20, and is also having a tribute concert in her honour). But with all due respect to the lovely Miss Fenty, this isn't called The Rihanna Spot.

These are of Cindy at a show for her friend and fellow hottie Gail Elliott, and of her in Mexico yesterday with her gorgeous family. Kaia is Cindy Jr. in all but name, and let's hope she stays as sane as her mother in addition to inheriting her looks.
Happy 42nd birthday, Cynthia Ann Crawford. You've been rocking my world for years...

...and you always will.

The Bullet-Dodging Post.

But first, a couple of very short CD reviews.

Windkracht 10 (Matt Dunkley): The score tracks are Speed on downers. And why are all the songs in English if the movie's Dutch-Belgian?

The Departed (Howard Shore): Three words: Ex. Cell. Ent.

Told you they were short...

I didn't book a ticket for Eclipse next month, and to be honest now that Hayden's had to cancel what with filming commitments, I'm kind of glad I didn't. (Kind of?) Tough on the fans who booked for her, though.

Cheers to Virgin 1 for making the first episode of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles available online for UK viewers (the show premieres next week on the box). Will I give in and watch it online or wait until Thursday? And will it be cancelled by the time it starts?

The Marisa Miller Effect Post.

Such is the power of Marisa Miller that both Butch and Tom were driven to update because of her. She may be their Valentines, but for me there's really only one candidate.






Happy Valentine's Day, Cindy.

The Hang On, I'll Think Of A Title Post.

This weekend, I learned...



That the mere thought of P*r*z H*lt*n induces vomiting in my mouth.

That dreaming about one member of Girls Aloud doing another one with an appliance is not helpful.

That the American football cheerleader Megan Fox is foxier than the other Megan Fox.

That my sense of smell isn't developed enough if I can't detect gas leaks at work while others can.

That the Hannah Montana movie is opening in the UK.

That my next diabetes eye screening coincides with a day off work.

That finding lots of secondhand vinyl stuff I'd like to have makes not having the ability to play it even worse.


That Hayden wearing bright-red lipstick is an aphrodisiac.

The This Post Is Brought To You By Dania Ramirez Post.

Cindy: Gerry Kroll from Soundtrackers told me he's located a CD copy of Elmer Bernstein's Spies Like Us (which is entirely Paul McCartney-free, as a bonus).

Feltz: It costs $60, which even when translated into pounds is still a hefty amount for one disc (a rare one, admittedly).

Cindy: There's a copy on sale on eBay.

Feltz: On vinyl.

Cindy: This normally wouldn't be a problem for me (I don't really care about the physical format as long as I like the music, and when I'm world dictator anyone who brags about how much better vinyl sounds than compact disc will be compelled to smash up one record they own- of MY choice - per brag. The way I see it, shit in analogue is still shit).

Feltz: Nothing here to connect the turntable-playing stereo to.

Cindy: I'll probably wind up getting it...

Feltz: ...and it's still preferable to Buysoundtrax's trademark slow sevice. Better late than never, however.

The So Where's Dexter: The Animated Series? Post.

I don't usually watch Ben 10. But I could picture myself viewing it regularly - which is why popping into AOL and being greeted with a blurb about the UK premiere of the movie version worried me (like High School Musical 2, the movie's getting a premiere before it begins running on TV). Because it's freaking live-action. Meanwhile Underdog opens here in two weeks in full-on live mode, and he doesn't even speak in rhyme; I tell you, if it weren't for Amy Adams (the voice of Sweet Polly Purebred) I might pass completely. And probably will anyway.

What the merry hell is wrong with doing animated versions of animated shows? I mean, come on; does adding live action really make it any more special? Especially since it just about never works (George of the Jungle excepted)? Gah. It irks me, almost as much as watching My Friends Tigger And Pooh and seeing that the girl in it is dubbed with an English voice while all the others have their original voices. Actually, more so - at least I can sort of understand the reasoning for that, what with it being a pre-school show and all.

Or maybe this is payback for the days of liveaction shows going animated (remember The Partridge Family 2200 AD? You do? Poor you). Either way, I don't trust it and I don't like it. Thank goodness the ship has sailed for The Powerpuff Girls in live-action (Abigail Breslin as Blossom , anyone?).

The Two Of The Finest Things In Life Post.

Well, in my view anyway. That would be music and women. The Television Production Music Museum handles the former, this gallery of Erica Rose Campbell attends to the latter.

One of these links isn't SFW. Guess which.

The Balls Of Fury Post.

The Movie: On the one hand, a lead (Dan Fogler) who doesn't exactly ooze charm and funniness; ping-pong spoofing was done better when It's Garry Shandling's Show did a takeoff of The Natural about it; the tournament-of-death thing was also sent up a lot better in Kentucky Fried Movie; Maggie Q and especially smoking hot Aisha Tyler are underused; really not all that sharp or funny (to be honest, the trailer for Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story blew this away, with the added bonus of Jenna Fischer). But on the other hand it doesn't riff on other movies for its jokes, it never really descends into head-holding stupidity (not that it doesn't try) and there are some genuinely funny moments - especially the courtesans. And at least we don't get a load of unamusing outtakes at the end. So it was a relatively painless 90 or so minutes, but the teenagers who kept running in and out of the cinema didn't help. Basically, Christopher Walken's been in worse.

The Music: I really hope Randy Edelman gets a boost from The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, because this one doesn't do him much favours; Craig Wedren's original score was replaced but Wedren still has two pieces left in the movie (including the end title song, the intentional Def Leppard soundalike "Balls of Fury"). Edelman's music, like all too many of his scores, is functional but nothing spectacular - when it's straightfaced it's at its most effective (like in the ping-pong matches), but when it's treated as part of the joke (i.e. building up for an emotional climax then cutting off to detour into a gag) it's... not quite there somehow. The travelling music for the tournament in Central America is good, but when you remember what Edelman's really capable of (case in point his excellent Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story music - and hey, Jason Scott Lee's in this one as well) it's kind of weak. Still, I like Randy Edelman, so I'll say this is all right. Recorded, for reasons of cheapness, in the Czech Republic and the UK; song album on Bulletproof, score album on Varese Sarabande.

The 600th Post.

I decided to make a resolution this year... to buy all the specified albums on my Soundtracks To Get list down there. Mainly because I suck at exercising so resolving to go to the gym is out.

Being on Steve Sullivan's Glamour Girls group on Yahoo! is fun, not so much because of occasionally hearing from some of the ladies whose praises are sung but more because of getting introduced to Mystique women; first Jade Regier/Bianca (what is it with me and that name?) and now Jannah Burnham. Add to this Erica Campbell having modelled for them and I may have to link to that site.

Magazines to get: not Arena (though I do agree with Bar Rafaeli's claim that she's not a supermodel) or Esquire or UK GQ. More like Elle (the Alba!), Lucky (Hayden!) and Italian GQ (the Queen).

Finally... dear ITV1, are you really going to be showing Pushing Daisies at 11.30pm? Really?

The Well It's Another Year Post.

And that means more of Cindy. All good news, as Edith Bowman always says.