Perez Hilton is a dick and Hayden Panettiere is emphatically not.

That is all.

Okay, maybe I should expand on this. If you

a) put up a photoshopped picture of an underage - until August 21, that is - woman hefting a dildo and claim it's the real thing,

b) have a history of regularly slagging off said young woman for no reason at all,

c) have said picture watermarked so everyone who reproduces it will know it's from YOUR site,

d) later try and cover it up when you get called on it by other sites,

and e) have a reputation for being so loathsome even other celebrity bloggers want to knock seven shades of shit out of you...

Hayden often comes across as wiser than her years. This does not seem to be the case with him.

Jessica Alba and Jerry Goldsmith

Jerry Goldsmith, may he rest in peace, said he didn't like scoring horror movies (Alien, The Omen) or action movies (he liked to joke that Rambo: First Blood Part II paid for his house). But he was so damn good at it!

Jessica Alba states that she doesn't like being considered sexy. But...

The Bastardly can... I was going to say "kiss her ass" but they might like it despite their comments on her (overrated? This from a blog that likes TheArchivist non-favourite Adriana Lima?). So they can kiss Vanessa Feltz's ass instead. Or Anne Robinson's. Or Barbara Bush's. And as for the rest of you, check out anything of Goldsmith's that you can. (Except maybe Criminal Law.) I have spoken.

Because I'm pissed off and I want to blow off steam a bit.

Question: If Perez Hilton, Victoria Newton and the folks at Hecklerspray had a fight to the death, who would win?

Answer: Us, if they all killed each other.

That is all. Good night, and good luck.