Tuesday, January 24, 2006

At last, at last...

She was a black hole on Diff'rent Strokes and Fame. Though not Good Times, strangely enough.
She steadfastly refused to ever make a decent record for years and years. And years.
She had producers who bashed my homegirl Paula Abdul.
She made videos that all looked the same.
She starred in a movie that was shelved for two years before getting released in Britain (Poetic Justice).
She also starred in Nutty Professor II: The Klumps.
She took part in that Superbowl attention-getter with He Who Shall Never Be Mentioned On This Blog Again. Ever.
She teased and teased for years, and got all pissy about that video.
She made me feel guilty for lusting after her ass, more than any other female celeb over the age of consent.
She did even more damage to "Big Yellow Taxi" than Amy Grant.
She had beauty marks on her face. Not real ones (Cindy, Mariah, Jessica etc), the make-up applied variety.
She is Janet Damita Jackson, and payback's a bitch when Mother Nature's your banker.


The Archivist said...

Ah. Her.

I think it says something when I can't even remember who her co-star for that Super Bowl was.

All Hail King Butcher! said...

Thanks to her, I've got a bunch of rich 60-year-old white Republicans telling this 26-year-old lower middle class black person how to live.

Fuck her in the ass with a cactus.

Cindylover1969 said...

While making her go down on a mace.

That's another reason, yes. Thanks for reminding me. (And I don't even live in America. Imagine how I'd feel if I was actually there.)

Mr. Slave: You say you've forgotten his name. Well, he used to be in *NSync; he's almost certainly on TRL's shitlist because of "Cry Me A River"; he's been linked to Cameron Diaz; and he would put me off McDonald's if I wasn't already off the place. Follow the clues.

The Archivist said...

Fucking Timberlake...