The Music From The Films Of Scarlett Johansson Post.

Since Scarlett Johansson is the oldest of the women in this series so far at the ripe old age of 27, and since many of her movies (the gorgeous, pouting Scarlett rarely does scripted television with the exception of her Robot Chicken appearances - and the pilot for the TV version of The Client) have had soundtrack releases, we've got the longest disc so far. Not included in this lineup: North, Home Alone 3 or My Brother The Pig (thus preventing the inclusion of a pre-Lost Michael Giacchino). Also not included is David Julyan's The Prestige (because it's boring), or any of her Woody Allen films (especially Match Point - I resent films where hotties I like get killed) as he hardly ever goes for original scoring. But if I can get any of her songs here, I will...

1. Rhythm Of The Horse (from The Horse Whisperer) - Thomas Newman (3:16)

2. The Trial Of Ed Crane (from The Man Who Wasn't There) - Carter Burwell (3:52)

3. Theme from Ghost World - David Kitay (3:59)

4. Spider Mania (from Eight Legged Freaks) - John Ottman (2:06)

5. Are You Awake? (from Lost In Translation) - Kevin Shields (1:35)

6. Griet's Theme (Reprise) (from Girl With A Pearl Earring) - Alexandre Desplat (4:19)

7. Daughter Like Mother (from A Love Song For Bobby Long) - Nathan Larson (2:05)

8. The Amalfi Theme (from A Good Woman) - Richard G. Mitchell (4:08)

9. I'm Psyched (from In Good Company) - Stephen Trask (2:50)

10. Send In The Clones (from The Island) - Steve Jablonsky (4:30)

11. Men Who Feed On Others (from The Black Dahlia) - Mark Isham (4:24)

12. The Other Boleyn Girl: Finale - Paul Cantelon (2:10)

13. Enter Silken Floss/Octopus Kicks (from The Spirit) - David Newman (1:34)

14. Last Goodbye (from He's Just Not That Into You) - Scarlett Johansson (2:32)

15. Black Widow Kicks Ass (from Iron Man 2) - John Debney (2:11)

16. We Bought A Zoo (from, well, We Bought A Zoo) -  Jónsi (4:21)

17. I Got A Ride (from The Avengers) - Alan Silvestri (4:00)

Next up, another pouty sexpot however much she denies it...

The Beware Comic-Book Movies Released In December/January Post.

Variety's review of the long-awaited re-teaming of Eva Mendes and Scarlett Johansson, The Spirit (hitting American screens on Christmas Day and opening in the UK on New Year's Day, as British cinemas aren't open on December 25th), as well as adding more fuel to the fire re this being a stinker and doomed to be added to the long list of Lionsgate box-office bombs - where would they be without Weeds and Mad Men? - contains two nuggets worth singling out:

1. Scarlett Johansson looks bored as the Octopus' icy sidekick, Silken Floss.

This worries me, because this calls up memories of The Black Dahlia (wherein the husky pouting one also looked like she wanted to be doing something else, a feeling yours truly certainly sympathised with while sitting through that rubbish).

2. When a man falls to the ground, his body covered with white bloodstains, it's unclear whether he's been felled by bullets or by incontinent birds.

This, on the other hand, just makes me laugh.

Roll on David Newman's music (if the movie really is bad, it won't be the first time he's done a score that's better than it deserves), which at least is getting a physical release. Even if it's on a CD-R.

The Spirit Scoring Post.

The news on who's scoring the film version of The Spirit definitely kindled my interest in seeing it. Yes, Samuel L. Jackson is always watchable (even in Virgin Media ads); and yes, Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes, Jaime King and Paz Vega does not equal the stars of Sex and the City as far as men in general are concerned... but with David Newman signed, the deal's been sealed. He's always been the most underrated of the composing Newmans, thanks mainly to the projects he's gotten in his two decades of scoring - Thomas started out with the likes of Revenge of the Nerds, but by the beginning of the 90s he'd moved further up the food chain and was well on the way to becoming the Oscar-bait (and Emmy-bait - he did Angels In America and the theme for Six Feet Under) composer he is today - as well as soon to be in cinemas with WALL-E - while Randy's one of the world's greatest singer-songwriters when he's not scoring Pixar movies (and slumming it occasionally... well, he did do Meet the Fockers after all).

Whereas David... well, I'll let his list of movie projects on IMDb speak for itself. (I'm not including shorts or his TV episodic work on Tales from the Crypt and Amazing Stories.) Italic titles are movies I've seen, those with asterisks indicate the score got some kind of release, whether score CD, promo (if I know about one) or a cut or two on the song album.

Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins (2008)
Norbit (2007)*
Serenity (2005)*
Monster-in-Law (2005)
Man of the House (2005)
Are We There Yet? (2005)
Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)
Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat (2003)*
Duplex (2003)
Daddy Day Care (2003)
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)
Scooby-Doo (2002)*
Life or Something Like It (2002)
Ice Age (2002)*
Death to Smoochy (2002)
The Affair of the Necklace (2001)*
Dr. Dolittle 2 (2001)
The Flamingo Rising (2001) (TV)
102 Dalmatians (2000)
Bedazzled (2000)
Duets (2000)*
Nutty Professor II: The Klumps (2000)
The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000)*
Galaxy Quest (1999)*
Brokedown Palace (1999)*
Bowfinger (1999)*
Never Been Kissed (1999)
Anastasia (1997)*
Out to Sea (1997)*
Jingle All the Way (1996)*
Matilda (1996)*
The Nutty Professor (1996)
The Phantom (1996)*
Big Bully (1996)
Operation Dumbo Drop (1995)*
Tommy Boy (1995)
Boys on the Side (1995)
I Love Trouble (1994)*
The Cowboy Way (1994)
The Flintstones (1994)*
My Father the Hero (1994)
The Air Up There (1994)*
Undercover Blues (1993)
Coneheads (1993)
The Sandlot (1993)*
Hoffa (1992)*
That Night (1992)
The Mighty Ducks (1992)
Honeymoon in Vegas (1992)
Other People's Money (1991)
Paradise (1991)
Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)*
Rover Dangerfield (1991)*
Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991)
Talent for the Game (1991)
The Marrying Man (1991)*
Meet the Applegates (1991)
Mr. Destiny (1990)*
DuckTales: The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp (1990)
The Freshman (1990)
Fire Birds (1990)
Madhouse (1990)
The Runestone (1990)
The War of the Roses (1989)*
Gross Anatomy (1989)
Little Monsters (1989)
Disorganized Crime (1989)
Heathers (1989)*
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
R.O.T.O.R. (1989)
Throw Momma from the Train (1987)*
The Brave Little Toaster (1987)*
Malone (1987)*
My Demon Lover (1987)*
The Kindred (1987)*
Vendetta (1986)
Critters (1986)*

On the one hand, it's nice to see he's done movies featuring Jessica Alba, Drew Barrymore (three times!), Gwyneth Paltrow and Hayden Panettiere (she played the young Hilary Swank in The Affair Of The Necklace, even though she now looks nothing like HS did at 18), and there's some gems in there... but on the other hand, I can't believe he did R.O.T.O.R. I mean, for goodness' sake, R.O.T.O.R.? If nothing else at least we have a winner for the title of the worst movie David Newman's scored (and there's some stiff competition).

I hope The Spirit gives him the big success he's deserved... and that Lionsgate gives him a physical CD release. Not all of us do iTunes, you know.

The Cindy/Feltz Post.

Feltz: My main female boss. For simultaneously infuriating and arousing me.

Cindy: Intrada. For releasing three David Newman albums (Malone, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey and now Throw Momma From The Train) in one year.

Additional Feltz: Me, for making too many short posts. :(

Norbit: The same entertainment value as a blog entry dissing Hayden Panettiere.

Which is to say, none whatsoever.

Okay, the wedding climax which Eddie Griffin takes over for stalling purposes so Eddie Murphy can get there in time does have its moments, but it's too little and too late to save the movie from really making me nostalgic for Daddy Day Care. Or even Harlem Nights.


Amazing Rick Baker makeup, true, and Murphy actually does do quite well in his three roles (Norbit, his Tyrannosaurus-sized shrewish wife Rasputia, and the Chinese orphanage owner who brought him up), but the material isn't here at all (and since Murphy has co-story and co-screenplay credit, he has to have a lot of the blame). Borderline offensive - you can imagine Spike Lee's reaction to how every stereotype known to man comes along here (then again, he's not exactly renowned for his positive female characters himself), horrendously unfunny, and apart from the scenes with Thandie Newton lacking any kind of charm, it's hard not to believe the rumours that this cost Eddie Murphy an Oscar for Dreamgirls.

Mind you, I should have known this would be crap with Griffin and Cuba Gooding Jr. in the cast... kudos to David Newman for valiantly trying to add a touch of humanity to the movie with his music and actually succeeding sometimes, though. I guarantee these pictures will do more for you than Norbit did. And they won't cost you anything.

And yes, they have turned up on lots of other blogs, but I'd rather see Hayden humping the Stanley Cup 100 times than see Norbit again. A pox on bloggers bashing her, which is where we came in.