The Scarlett Johansson's Ass Kicks Kick-Ass's Ass Post.

You can try saying that five times fast or you can just look at her. I'd go for option two.

The V Post.

Maybe it's not fair to judge something based on two episodes, but improved effects aside the new V is pretty weak compared to the two miniseries (and arguably the followup TV series).

That said, Laura "never saw her on Smallville because I never watch the thing" Vandervoort... Holy shit.

The Twitter Post.

There is at least one thing I have in common with Denise Milani - neither of us is on Twitter.

Submitted for your approval: someone claiming to be Denise. Look at the website listed and the location, realise that she actually has her own freaking website, and think about it for a moment. And now Chickipedia's list of searched-for ladies in August, with particular cheers to ones in bold.

1. Megan Fox
2. Kim Kardashian
3. Emma Watson
4. Sienna Miller
5. Vanessa Hudgens
6. Lucy Pinder
7. Denise Milani
8. Jessica Alba
9. Rachel Nichols
10. Gina Carano
11. Scarlett Johansson
12. Katy Perry
13. Keeley Hazell
14. Mila Kunis
15. Christina Hendricks
16. Pamela Anderson
17. Hayden Panettiere
18. Beyonce
19. Bar Refaeli
20. Shakira
21. Ashley Greene
22. Jessica Simpson
23. Jenna Jameson
24. Jennifer Aniston
25. Britney Spears
26. Angelina Jolie
27. Jessica Biel
28. Jennifer Love Hewitt
29. Taylor Swift
30. Lady-Gaga
31. Lindsay Lohan
32. Mariah Carey
33. Erin Andrews
34. Kristen Stewart
35. Vida Guerra
36. Adriana Lima
37. Ashley Tisdale
38. Rachel McAdams
39. Olivia Munn
40. Salma Hayek
41. Carmen Electra
42. Heidi Montag
43. Marisa Miller
44. Kate Beckinsale
45. Paris Hilton
46. Diora Baird
47. Fergie
48. Jennifer Lopez
49. Keira Knightley
50. Eva Mendes
51. Rihanna
52. Gemma Atkinson
53. Elisha Cuthbert
54. Zooey Deschanel
55. Kate Mara
56. Kristen Bell
57. Miranda Kerr
58. Hilary Duff
59. Olivia Wilde
60. Katie Price
61. Natalie Portman
62. Milla Jovovich
63. Monica Bellucci
64. Heather Graham
65. Christina Aguilera
66. Katherine Heigl
67. Kelly Brook
68. Kendra Wilkinson
69. Blake Lively
70. Lacey Chabert
71. Audrina Patridge
72. Kat Dennings
73. Halle Berry
74. Diane Kruger
75. Emmanuelle Chriqui
76. Eliza Dushku
77. Anne Hathaway
78. Kourtney Kardashian
79. Sarah Chalke
80. Leighton Meester
81. Alyssa Milano
82. Amy Adams
83. Padma Lakshmi
84. Nicole Scherzinger
85. Tila Tequila
86. Alexis Bledel
87. Heidi Klum
88. Joanna Krupa
89. Malin Akerman
90. Nigella Lawson
91. Amanda Bynes
92. Penelope Cruz
93. Avril Lavigne
94. Tyra Banks
95. Anna Paquin
96. Brooklyn Decker
97. Ali Larter
98. Jessica AKA Miss Rabbit
99. Eva Longoria Parker
100. Cameron Diaz

The Hayden Panettiere In A French Maid Outfit Post.

What, you want words as well?

The Jessica Claire Biel, Straight Guys And Lesbians Thank You Post.

"L.A. face with an Oakland booty. Ye Gods." - Butch Source here.

Inspired by a post on Celeb Girlz pointing out how difficult it was to write anything about the Donald's sexy daughter when Fred had the first ever screen nudity of Jessica Biel as a link to his sister blog. And yes, Fred's post is linked to during this piece.

Down through the first century of film, male viewers have been crossing their fingers and hoping they'll get to see their favourite actresses (or actors, in a nod to those who lean that way) in a state of nature. While some managed to get lucky even back then - this link has more info - it's still surprising on those occasions when such pictures from the silent era turn up, and maybe if censorship had been less strict then there'd be even more... you just know there were 17-year-olds wishing people like Maureen O'Sullivan or Barbara Stanwyck would turn up naked. (Joan Crawford? Not the same.)

Today as then, some actresses see it as all in a day's work (Crash - the David Cronenberg one - features no less than three veteran screen nudists in Rosanna Arquette, Holly Hunter and Deborah Kara Unger) while others are understandably fiercely protective of what they've been given (we call this Kathy Ireland Syndrome). So while it's lovely when Laetitia Casta, Charlize Theron et al strip off, it's even more special when it's someone you never thought would do it, or when you've been waiting for a while and it finally happens. Which brings us to Jessica Biel.

Oh, Jessica. My second favourite Jessica after the Alba. For some the only reason to watch 7th Heaven on a regular basis (until 2002, obviously - actually a bad year for fans of sexy Jessicas, what with Dark Angel getting axed), for others the only reason the projectionists at cinemas showing Blade: Trinity and Summer Catch weren't lynched. The sporty tendencies both in real life and on screen (her 7th Heaven character Mary Camden was a basketball player, remember?) plus the throaty voice and well-developed arms all say "butch," but the closer attention is paid, the more signs there are that she's all woman. All woman with questionable quality control re script choice, but as both Big Bird and Hannah Montana have pointed out, everyone makes mistakes - and had Powder Blue gotten a cinema release of more than token status we'd be talking pre-Tom Cruise Katie Holmes status at least (remember The Gift?) instead of it being more like Anne Hathaway in Havoc. Still, it's called breaking down barriers. Not that it's up there with apartheid ending or anything, but you get the point. (I have to admit to being pleased that this seems to have caused less of a stir overall than Cindy's creamed-up Allure layout or her bikini shots earlier this week, though...)

Watch her in the most gratuitous bikini scene ever, constantly about to explode out of her naval whites and, as The New York Times put it, "wiggling her shapely rear through the North Korean backcountry," and Stealth becomes bearable. See her at premieres in clingy dresses and Justin Timberlake becomes... even more killable than usual. Listen to her sing (as she did on 7th Heaven and in Easy Virtue; see the video below) and you realise "What, she can sing as well? Fuck me!" Basically, what I'm saying is she's hot. And this is or could be the start of something big.





She gets bonus points for her last name - with all due respect to three-time Emmy winner Jeff, Beal is wrong (probably because it's close to Neal, which is one of my least favourite names ever. I don't know why). And even more bonus points for, at the time of writing, being due to sign on to romantic comedy Valentine's Day alongside the Alba, Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway, Julia Roberts... and Ashton Kutcher. Into each life.