The Frank DeGroot Speaks For All Of Us Post.

The Playmates Are People Too Post.

One of the things that being a girl-crazy lifelong singleton has taught me is that it's always fun to see a little more of women who strip off for cameras. Not in that sense, you creep; in terms of internally - it helps remind you that they're people just like the rest of us. Sometimes it's hateful (like the Danielle Lloyd business), sometimes it's saddening (like Sharry Konopski's crippling) and sometimes it's life-affirming (like Rebekka Armstrong not letting HIV ruin her life). And sometimes it's... amusing.

One fan in Steve Sullivan's group (see below) posted images of Playmate/actress Carrie Stevens, and as well as being blown away by the shots it led me to her website, and her blog. I love things like that; Carrie reminds me more of Erica Campbell than Naomi Campbell, and that's A Good Thing. A Very Good Thing. Just for that, this post has a link to HotMomsClub.

And that's not what it sounds like either. Think people, not perving. Just for a change. :)

The Alpha for the Omega.

Cindy's latest bit of business for Omega saw her going to Australia, and while you could fill a book with the list of commercial endorsements she's done that still isn't a problem with me. At all.

But anyone who compares this angel to Janice Dickinson should be forbidden to breed at the very least.

It's really tempting to use this to go into a post about how she > Kate Moss as much now as she did in the 1990s, but I won't. For more reactions and pictures, try this link. And that reminds me - I have to check out the new Ocean Drive as well, and try and decide whether or not I'd be delighted or disappointed should Cindy ever decide to change her mind and pose for Playboy again next year (she said it would be good for her 41-year-old ego, but on the other hand she's got other priorities now - and I genuinely respect that). More on this next post.

Random irritation time.

The next issue of Playboy (after the one Booch raced down to Borders to get what with Amanda Beard being in it) features a birthday-suit-clad Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon (NYPD Blue, Lindsay Lohan's forthcoming I Know Who Killed Me and a lot of TV shows that weren't shown in the UK like The Jamie Foxx Show, were shortlived like Eyes, or were both like The Opposite Sex and Models, Inc.). It's not her nudity that inspired this post, as I'm not interested in her really - it's that a post on BlackSista.com railed about her doing it, about how this almost never really boosts careers (which is true, and to their credit the blog pointed out it applies to white women as much as blacks - for every Pamela Anderson, Marilyn Monroe or Kim Basinger whose career was definitely given a major legup, there's a lot more than one Mercedes McNab or Gena Lee Nolin), how they make black women look bad (citing Robin Givens and Stacey Dash) and... er, I mean how they make Black women look bad, which is the term they used and bringing me to what really inspired this post.

The damn capitals.

Calling someone Black instead of black was a pin in my side years ago with Ebony and Jet, and times haven't changed. Okay, so the terminology is supposed to be signifying strength and meaning, but isn't that being divisive? Whites calling themselves Whites is fucking annoying, and so is this; it's not like there's a country called Black somewhere. That's one reason I stopped checking out black-obsessed papers, media, or whatever... it ain't helping, people.

Of course, there's another problem with this - it's that it isn't Gabrielle Union stripping off. Then I'd be a lot more interested, and this post would be a lot happier.

The FHM 95 (not 100, not yet)

Since every country's FHM list is different, you can't have one be proclaimed the ultimate; which is why I decided to try and compile one massive Sexiest Women in the World list based on their votes. This is based on the five complete lists I've managed to get so far (UK, USA, Australia, France and Germany) - if anyone can get me the rest of the various 100s so I can update it that would be fabulous.

But first, a few notes:
1. Points are determined according to their positions on the various lists (a #1 placing gets 100 points, a #2 gets 99 and so on). In the event of a tie with the totals, the highest position on any list determines who comes in higher. (If there's another tie even with that, it comes down to alphabetical order.)
2. Anyone who only appears on one country's list is discounted. You have to be on at least two, since this is an international list. The more lists, the more people and therefore the more points.
3. Er... that's it.

And now, without further ado...

1. Jessica Alba (496 points, highest position 1 on UK/US/Germany lists)
2. Scarlett Johansson (485, 2 Aus)
3. Eva Longoria (432, 2 France)
4. Angelina Jolie (413, 2 Germany)
5. Keeley Hazell (389, 1 Aus)
6. Keira Knightley (373, 9 US)
7. Christina Aguilera (352, 8 France)
8. Elisha Cuthbert (340, 10 UK)
9. Jessica Biel (334, 7 UK)
10. Beyonce Knowles (328, 17 France)
11. Carmen Electra (309, 22 UK)
12. Lindsay Lohan (305, 30 UK)
13. Eva Mendes (304, 11 UK)
14. Halle Berry (301, 14 France)
15. Alyssa Milano (295, 17 Germany)
16. Jessica Simpson (294, 14 Germany)
17. Adriana Lima (268, 4 UK)
18. Jennifer Love Hewitt (268, 14 US)
19. Kate Beckinsale (263, 13 US)
20. Evangeline Lilly (259, 13 UK)
21. Cameron Diaz (258, 20 UK)
22. Shakira (256, 7 Germany)
23. Nicole Scherzinger (253, 22 UK)
24. Charlize Theron (249, 18 Germany)
25. Gisele Bundchen (226, 4 US)
26. Maria Sharapova (226, 11 US)
27. Jennifer Aniston (216, 16 Germany)
28. Eva Green (213, 19 Aus)
29. Jennifer Lopez (197, 20 Germany)
30. Ali Larter (192, 8 Aus)
31. Nelly Furtado (188, 5 Germany)
32. Emily Scott (188, 9 UK)
33. Avril Lavigne (188, 29 UK)
34. Rihanna (184, 17 Aus)
35. Natalie Portman (183, 31 US)
36. Kirsten Dunst (181, 23 France)
37. Kate Moss (180, 31 Germany)
38. Alessandra Ambrosio (178, 5 US)
39. Hayden Panettiere (176, 6 UK)
40. Rachel Bilson (170, 34 UK)
41. Victoria Silvstedt (164, 40 Aus)
42. Sienna Miller (160, 11 Aus)
43. Britney Spears (154, 26 Germany)
44. Abigail Clancy (153, 12 Aus)
45. Jaime Pressly (149, 15 Aus)
46. Penelope Cruz (146, 38 US)
47. Heidi Klum (145, 11 Germany)
48. Katherine Heigl (138, 32 US)
49. Holly Valance (136, 18 Aus)
50. Paris Hilton (134, 19 Germany)
51. Jenna Jameson (134, 37 US)
52. Kristin Kreuk (134, 45 Germany)
53. Mischa Barton (127, 25 Germany)
54. Hilary Duff (124, 62 UK/US)
55. Clara Morgane (122, 13 France)
56. Salma Hayek (120, 18 US)
57. Rachel McAdams (120, 34 US)
58. Jennifer Garner (119, 53 US)
59. Tera Patrick (116, 59 US)
60. Megan Fox (114, 23 Aus)
61. Brooke Burke (114, 33 US)
62. Melissa Theuriau (113, 1 France)
63. Tara Reid (112, 12 Germany)
64. Pamela Anderson (112, 64 US)
65. Reese Witherspoon (111, 42 Germany)
66. Vida Guerra (107, 23 US)
67. Diora Baird (101, 25 Aus)
68. Kelly Carlson (100, 50 Aus)
69. Sarah Michelle Gellar (97, 51 France)
70. Gemma Atkinson (94, 16 Aus)
71. Gwen Stefani (91, 58 US)
72. Mariah Carey (86, 45 US)
73. Vanessa Marcil (85, 55 US)
74. Petra Nemcova (85, 57 US)
75. Kate Middleton (79, 25 UK)
76. Stacy Ferguson (79, 44 US)
77. Ana Beatriz Barros (70, 51 UK)
78. Lucy Liu (68, 52 US)
79. Kristin Cavallari (63, 48 US)
80. Tricia Helfer (60, 63 US)
81. Joanna Krupa (60, 66 Aus)
82. Kari Byron (59, 54 Aus)
83. Josie Maran (53, 63 Aus)
84. Teri Hatcher (53, 73 US)
85. Jennifer Ellison (51, 64 Aus)
86. Dita von Teese (51, 65 France)
87. Elizabeth Hurley (51, 70 US)
88. Cassie (43, 69 France)
89. Nikki Sanderson (42, 72 UK)
90. Pink (41, 64 Germany)
91. Uma Thurman (31, 83 US)
92. Kate Hudson (30, 82 Aus)
93. Sophia Bush (23, 89 US)
94. Christina Milian (12, 93 Germany)
95. Naomi Watts (12, 93 US)

What does this teach us?
1. Nicole Scherzinger defines being honoured more abroad than at home; had she made it to the US 100 (as she did with the other lists included here) she'd have come even higher.
2. Hayden Panettiere would undoubtedly have come even higher were she 18 (she remains the youngest person to get into something like this).
3. It helps to be on an American TV show; among the one-list vote-getters are Without a Trace's Roselyn Sanchez (Germany) and Prison Break's Robin Tunney (France).
4. UK FHM's attempts to persuade readers that millions the world over voted for their models and Girls Aloud are flawed.
5. Katharine McPhee hasn't exported yet.

Jessica Alba and Jerry Goldsmith

Jerry Goldsmith, may he rest in peace, said he didn't like scoring horror movies (Alien, The Omen) or action movies (he liked to joke that Rambo: First Blood Part II paid for his house). But he was so damn good at it!

Jessica Alba states that she doesn't like being considered sexy. But...

The Bastardly can... I was going to say "kiss her ass" but they might like it despite their comments on her (overrated? This from a blog that likes TheArchivist non-favourite Adriana Lima?). So they can kiss Vanessa Feltz's ass instead. Or Anne Robinson's. Or Barbara Bush's. And as for the rest of you, check out anything of Goldsmith's that you can. (Except maybe Criminal Law.) I have spoken.

From A to Z, in the Hotness Alphabet.

Mike asked me if I could name a hot celebrity femme for every letter in the alphabet without looking it up. Let's see if you can... this is what I came up with.

Autumn Reeser
Breanna McGregor (Playboy's Cybergirl of the Year)
Cindy Crawford (well, duh)
Drew Barrymore
Erica Campbell
Farrah Forke (OK, maybe not a celebrity but I needed a name beginning with F, and I never liked Farrah Fawcett)
Gwen Stefani
Halle Berry
Ione Skye Leitch
Jessica Alba
Kathy Ireland
Louise Redknapp
Monica Bellucci
Nikki Sanderson
Odessa Munroe (without implants as seen in Freddy vs. Jason. Another case of stretching the definition of "celebrity," I admit)
Penelope Cruz
Qi Shu
Rose McGowan
Sophia Bush
Torrie Wilson
Uma Thurman
Vanessa Hudgens
Wendy Wilson
Xuxa
Yancy Butler
Ziyi Zhang

Can you do better?