The Hang On, Don't You Get "Heroes" In Spain? Post.

Because Spain's FHM rundown is conspiciously lacking in Hayden action. Or any of that show's other lookers. Not that there aren't any fine women at all - reduce the amount of "Who?"-ness here. Women who've made every list I've found so far in Verdana... and so on, you know how it goes by now.

1. Pilar Rubio.
2. Elsa Pataky. Yay! If Snakes On A Plane and Queen Of Swords had been big hits (or hits), I think she'd be better known in the English-language world.
3. Megan Fox.
4. Jessica Alba.
5. Amaia Salamanca.
6. Scarlett Johansson.
7. Angelina Jolie.
8. Carolina Cerezuela.
9. Patricia Conde .
10. Edurne.
11. Eva Longoria (Parker). The ice cream seller strikes again!
12. Kira Miró.
13. Penélope Cruz.
14. Adriana Lima.
15. Michelle Jenner.
16. Alyssa Milano.
17. Charlize Theron.
18. Ana Celia de Armas.
19. Hilary Duff.
20. Natalia.
21. Rihanna.
22. Jessica Biel.
23. Nika.
24. Keira Knightley.
25. Eva González.
26. Beyoncé Knowles.
27. Ana Ruiz.
28. Gisele Bündchen.
29. Eva Mendes.
30. Chenoa.
31. Jennifer Aniston.
32. Virginie. I thought this was Virginie Ledoyen. She isn't.
33. Avril Lavigne.
34. Paz Vega.
35. Alicia Keys.
36. Carmen Alcayde.
37. Paula Echevarria.
38. Christina Aguilera.
39. Britney Spears.
40. Ana Alves.
41. Blanca Romero.
42. Shakira.
43. Carmen Electra.
44. Mónica Bellucci.
45. Fergie.
46. Marta Torné.
47. Halle Berry.
48. Keeley Hazell.
49. Lindsay Lohan.
50. Agurne Anasagasti.
51. Leonor Watling.
52. Vanessa Romero.
53. Merxe.
54. Tila Tequila.
55. Lucía Lapiedra.
56. Marisa Jara.
57. Soraya.
58. Verónica Sánchez.
59. Verónica Romero
60. Marbelys.
61. Evangeline Lilly.
62. Alexandra Jimenez.
63. Natalie Portman.
64. Mónica Estarreado
65. Natalia Verbeke.
66. Jennifer Morrison. So I guess not everybody watches House, M.D. for Hugh Laurie.
67. Triana Iglesias.
68. Alba Molina.
69. Diana Palazón.
70. Ariadne Artiles.
71. Jennifer Lopez.
72. Rebecca Loos.
73. Raquel del Rosario.
74. Maria Sharapova.
75. Sienna Miller.
76. Natalia Jiménez.
77. Beatriz Montáñez.
78. Nicole Scherzinger.
79. Paulina Rubio.
80. Ana Beatriz Barros.
81. Paris Hilton.
82. Rachel Bilson.
83. Jessica Simpson.
84. Elena Anaya.
85. Manuela Velasco.
86. Cristina Peña.
87. Alessandra Ambrosio.
88. Sonia Ferrer.
89. Gwen Stefani.
90. Jenna Jameson.
91. Melanie Olivares.
92. Miren Ibarguren.
93. Joanna Krupa.
94. Paula Vázquez.
95. Teté (Natalia Sánchez).
96. Ana Maria Polvorosa.
97. Abbey Clancy.
98. Vega.
99. Anna Kournikova.
100. Verónica Echegui.

There is indeed nowt so queer as folk. Bring on the French list!

The Let's Go List Crazy Post.

Things to do: buy Awake and Good Luck Chuck on DVD since there's no chance of my getting to see either of them on the big screen, actually write to Teresa since I update my MySpace with the frequency of a mountain dancing, and find out every country's FHM rundown. We've already done the UK and US, but what about the 31 other countries where EMAP's pride and joy is done? And what can we learn from what Australian readers pick? Bold denotes ones I like, Verdana means they also made the US and UK lists, both indicates both.

1. Jessica Alba.
2. Megan Fox.
3. Jess Origliasso. One half of singing duo The Veronicas.
4. Lisa Origliasso. The other half of singing duo The Veronicas.
5. Miranda Kerr. Not half bad Victoria's Secret model.
6. Jennifer Hawkins. Forever ex-Miss Australia.
7. Kate Beckinsale. The highest-scoring person here who isn't American or Australian.
8. Natalie Imbruglia. Forever either Beth Brennan or "Torn."
9. Hayden Panettiere. One of four, count 'em, four Heroes representatives here.
10. Lara Bingle.
11. Alessandra Ambrosio.
12. Scarlett Johansson.
13. Rihanna.
14. Erin McNaught.
15. Adriana Lima.
16. Jodi Gordon. The first of several Australian soaps reps to be found here.
17. Ana Ivanovic.
18. Katherine Heigl.
19. Jessica Biel.
20. Emma Watson.
21. Holly Valance.
22. Tamsyn Lewis.
23. Natalie Bassingthwaighte. Is this really how her surname is spelt?
24. Eva Mendes.
25. Angelina Jolie.
26. Rachel Bilson.
27. Krystal Forscutt.
28. Pippa Black.
29. Beyoncé Knowles.
30. Gemma Ward.
31. Eva Longoria (Parker).
32. Caitlin Stasey.
33. Jennifer Love Hewitt.
34. Keeley Hazell. Between you and me and anyone else who reads this, I'm seriously considering bolding her.
35. Natalie Portman.
36. Keira Knightley.
37. Christina Aguilera.
38. Elisha Cuthbert.
39. Jessica Simpson.
40. Cameron Diaz.
41. Nicky Whelan.
42. Bar Refaeli. See Keeley Hazell.
43. Gisele Bundchen.
44. Heidi Klum.
45. Kate Ritchie. Will she be here next year now she's finally left Home and Away? She probably will.
46. Jackie O. Australian necrophilia is not that widespread - this is a presenter.
47. Halle Berry.
48. Salma Hayek.
49. Reese Witherspoon.
50. Sarah Michelle Gellar.
51. Avril Lavigne.
52. Rachel McAdams.
53. Nicole Scherzinger.
54. Kelly Brook.
55. Penelope Cruz.
56. Jennifer Garner.
57. Stacy Keibler.
58. Kate Waterhouse.
59. Maria Sharapova.
60. Ali Larter.
61. Isabel Lucas.
62. Sandra Sully.
63. Olga Kurylenko.
64. Sienna Miller.
65. Jade McRae.
66. Olivia Thirlby.
67. Emily Scott.
68. Lindsay Lohan.
69. Chloe Lattanzi.
70. Anna Kournikova.
71. Kylie Minogue.
72. Sophie Monk.
73. Gwen Stefani.
74. Doutzen Kroes. She's another one who's worth it.
75. Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
76. Candice Alley.
77. Vanessa Hudgens.
78. Mandy Moore.
79. Noemie Lenoir.
80. Charlize Theron.
81. Odette Yustman.
82. Marisa Miller. No relation to the less foxy Sienna.
83. Summer Glau.
84. Nadine Velazquez.
85. Amber Heard.
86. Amy Pearson.
87. Rachael Taylor.
88. Hilary Duff. She should not be this low.
89. Tahyna Tozzi.
90. Missy Peregrym. Australian guys must really like Heroes. Or Reaper.
91. Ivanka Trump.
92. Ellen Page. "It started with a chair..."
93. Mila Kunis.
94. Kristen Bell. You know you love her.
95. Emmanuelle Chriqui.
96. Natalie Blair.
97. Natalie Barr.
98. Katie Holmes. Time was when she'd have done so much better.
99. Ujjwala Raut.
100. Abbey Clancy. That's loyalty to the mother country for you.

Spanish rundown tomorrow, and the list of people who turn up on every list reduces further.

The Frank DeGroot Speaks For All Of Us Post.

The Do You Really Want To Hear About The Mayoral Elections? Thought Not Post

There are already loads of bloggings about those most beautiful lists in general and FHM's UK and US ones in particular. Only a blogger with nothing else coming to mind would do another one. With that in mind, only people who I have some kind of interest in will be commented on, even unto explaining who they are. Favourites in bold, women who also made the US list in Verdana, both in both.

100. Holly Willoughby.
99. Marion Cotillard. Amazing how the makeup people made someone so foxy look so hideous... there's the key to an Oscar.
98. Victoria Beckham.
97. Roxanne McKee.
96. Nicola Roberts.
95. Dannii Minogue. The Hilary to Kylie's Haylie, in fanciability terms rather than success.
94. Billie Piper. I'm still not watching Doctor Who or The Secret Diary of a Call Girl though.
93. Kylie Minogue.
92. April Scott.
91. Kirstie Allsopp.
90. Amber Heard. Bears further investigation.
89. Kristen Bell. Veronica Mars! Elle Bishop! Gossip Girl! And how much UK press has she gotten for Forgetting Sarah Marshall? F. all. (Sadly, I'm obliged to see this as the main character composes for film...)
88. Odette Yustman.
87. Hannah Spearritt. You'd think she'd be higher than her fellow ex-S Clubber what with Hannah having a steady gig on Primeval. But nope...
86. Ellen Page.
85. Gloria De Piero.
84. Katie Holmes. Can she break away from Mr. Cruise before it's too late?
83. Katherine Jenkins. The lower-placed of the two Welsh operatic women herein, wrongly methinks.
82. Michelle Ryan. If Bionic Woman had been a big hit, you just know she'd be a lot higher.
81. Anna Kournikova. One of several former chart-toppers to be here in the Horse Latitudes (though at least she made the list - unlike Jennifer Lopez, Gillian Anderson, Teri Hatcher and Claudia Schiffer).
80. Agyness Deyn.
79. Mary Elizabeth Winstead. So much foxier than Bruce Willis's real daughter.
78. Gwen Stefani. Has been known to claim she's not sexy. Liar. (Bonus points for being one of six women I voted for to make the list in the UK.)
77. Denise Richards.
76. Chelsea Davy. It's not what you know, it's...

75. Petra Nemcova. Now happily single after Sean Penn gave his wife another chance. Thus improving both of them.
74. Stacy Keibler.
73. Tricia Helfer.
72. Eva Green. Bolded not for Casino Royale but The Golden Compass, oddly.
71. Fearne Cotton.
70. Sienna Miller.
69. Mandy Moore.
68. Nadine Velazquez.
67. Milla Jovovich.
66. Kimberly Walsh.
65. Emily Scott.
64. Ali Larter. The second of three Heroes ladies on this list. Bet you can't guess who the third is (clue: Not Cristine Rose).
63. Alexa Chung. A T4 presenter. Pretty but slagged off a lot.
62. Holly Valance.
61. Vanessa Hudgens. Yes! It's only a matter of time until Miley Cyrus makes her debut.
60. Cameron Diaz. You have to have Cameron Diaz every year. It's the law.
59. Charlotte McKenna.
58. Marisa Miller.
57. Jennifer Garner.
56. Mischa Barton. Mike wishes Rachel had Mischa's attitude towards nudity. Then again, Rachel's last few projects haven't had straight-to-DVD all over them.
55. Abbey Clancy.
54. Evangeline Lilly.
53. Shakira.
52. Carmen Electra.
51. Emma Griffiths. TV presenter, I think.

50. Rachel McAdams.
49. Nicole Scherzinger.
48. Kristin Kreuk.
47. Monica Bellucci. Stunner though she is, the fellow on FSM's board who rightly hailed her hotness is nonetheless on my ignore list (you do NOT diss the Alba around me).
46. Halle Berry.
45. Katherine Heigl.
44. Alesha Dixon.
43. Nadine Coyle.
42. Bar Refaeli. Leonardo DiCaprio trades up.
41. Lindsay Lohan.
40. Heidi Klum.
39. Natalie Portman.
38. Olga Kurylenko.
37. Avril Lavigne. Because she may be annoying, but she's supremely sexy and annoying.
36. Sarah Harding.
35. Eva Mendes. Own-brand Cindy Crawford cannot and never will be bolded, not even with that ass.
34. Kelly Brook.
33. Emma Watson.
32. Sarah Michelle Gellar.
31. Britney Spears.
30. Maria Sharapova.
29. Rachel Stevens.
28. Charlize Theron.
27. Jennifer Aniston.
26. Jessica Simpson. Favourited because I still prefer her to Ashlee.
25. Salma Hayek. How did she not make the US list? Oh dear.
24. Sophia Bush. How'd she score higher in the UK list than the US one? One Tree Hill must have more of a British following than I thought.
23. Ana Ivanović. Tennis player. Apparently hotter than Maria Sharapova or Anna Kournikova.
22. Gisele Bundchen.
21. Adriana Lima.
20. Christina Aguilera.
19. Jennifer Love Hewitt. I'm not sure she deserves to be TV Guide's Sexiest Woman on TV, but she's certainly one of 'em.
18. Gemma Atkinson.
17. Beyoncé Knowles.
16. Rachel Bilson.
15. Alessandra Ambrosio.
14. Eva Longoria (Parker).
13. Jessica Biel.
12. Kate Beckinsale.
11. Rihanna. Or as I've started to call her after hearing her new single, Riyoncé (Rihanna + Beyoncé, get it?).
10. Keira Knightley.
9. Angelina Jolie.
8. Hilary Duff. Egotastic! still can't believe how hot she is. I knew that from Agent Cody Banks, darn it.
7. Cheryl Cole.
6. Scarlett Johansson. Her singing isn't that bad, folks.
5. Hayden Panettiere. Do I have to elaborate? (The youngest woman in the top 10 for the second year in a row, and also - I believe - the highest-ranked young 'un on the US list at #11).
4. Elisha Cuthbert.
3. Keeley Hazell. I have to say, though, that she's no Samantha Fox in the singing department.

2. Jessica Alba. Even a heavily pregnant Jessica Alba > quite a few here. Including...
1. Megan Fox.

Alas, Cindy wasn't there.

The Rosanna Arquette In Stereo Post.

The dire Jean-Claude Van Damme movie (or is that redundant?) Nowhere To Run is playing out on Sky. But it's a dire Jean-Claude Van Damme movie with Rosanna Arquette, and is therefore safe from channel skipping.



The above hails from her episode of Medium, and the below is the first of a series of clip videos of her career to date courtesy some bright spark called mweihn. Watch and see why this woman is in my permanent Hall of Fame.

The Return Of The Cindy/Feltz Thingy Post.

Cindy: I finally do MySpace just when everyone else is on Facebook. Even one of my aunts.

Feltz: Hard to maintain any of 'em, you know. Especially when I don't talk much and don't have much to talk about. Maybe I should just, you know, lie?

Cindy: Pushing Daisies, Chuck and Gossip Girl.

Feltz: Mad Men. Enough dark, cynical, critically-beloved viewing, thanks - like The Sopranos I don't have any engagement with anyone on this, so be off.

Cindy: Lalo Schifrin at the Barbican with the LSO.

Feltz: The endless journey home afterwards.

Cindy: Heroes returns this week!

Feltz: On BBC2, not NBC.

If you want me, I'll be down at the Pie Hole, the Nerd Herd or at Serena van der Woodsen's.

The Sunday Morning Post.

I have to complain about a) seeing the trailer for the Sex and the City movie in front of The Spiderwick Chronicles and b) seeing the trailer for the Sex and the City movie. Come on, have a heart.

ITV1 also deserves a jolly-good talking to for Pushing Daisies. Not the show itself, the pilot of which was on last night - love it, love it, love it - and was a real whetter for the rest of the series (although why give Anna Friel all the props when there's the rest of the cast, not to mention the great Bryan Fuller?)... but for their only showing eight episodes of the nine in the first season. For goodness' sake, haven't they heard of double-bills? It's Nickelodeon with Gilmore girls all over again. Gah.

Here's something to cheer me up. (Have fun where you are, Butch. And who's this Olivia Munn person? Looks fun.)

The It Actually Works! Post.

Even though I already gave my two cents to FHM, I gave Keeley's Lady Selector a whirl, just to see what would happen if I tried that.

I went through it twice - once for brunettes, once for blondes (you can also go for bald, but I didn't try that) and it has to lose points for only letting you choose either British or American women (er, hello? France? Australia? Asia?). But it gets some back for Keeley being very, very attractive even when she talks (mentioning no names, but some of these men's magazine regulars - when they open their mouths you suddenly understand how sound ruined some stars' careers after the silent era).

Anyway, once I gave the system my choices, it came up with the following five women for brunettes:
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Katie Holmes
Natalie Portman
Ellen Page
and Jessica Alba.

And for blondes I drew:
Amber Heard
Ali Larter
Blake Lively
Katherine Heigl
and Hayden Panettiere.

(I couldn't remember Blake at first so I went back, inputted again and got Ashley Olsen and Elisha Cuthbert in place of Amber and Blake. Trading down there, really. And then I edited this post from what was originally published this morning.) A good enough average so that I can give this a ringing endorsement. Not enough to buy the current issue, but enough to maybe put Keeley on staff.

The Started At 2:54 AM, Finished At 3:08AM Post.

A few random thoughts:

1. I'm not entirely convinced about The Boondocks. I wish Yahoo! could add Luann to their comic strip lineup, but until then the 'docks stay.

2. Brazilian Marie Claire ran a piece about Patricia Araujo. It's very weird to see she was born as Felipe. Not as weird as reading a translation via Babelfish (Portuguese to English).

3. It's time to start saving for my flight to Nevis in July. And to get mum's birthday gift. If only someone else hadn't already decided on part of The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency.

4. Blake Lively looks like a more attractive cross between Cate Blanchett and Cat Deeley. Not as nice as her, but still great.

The Step Up 2 The Vantage Point Post.

I went to see Step Up 2 The Streets and Vantage Point on Saturday. We might as well run a comparison...

Story: The former's climax is obvious from the word go, but the latter can be called many things - predictable not being one of them. Advantage: Vantage Point.

Acting: Neither is the kind of thing you go to for performances (with the former it's all about the dancing, the latter has tension up the wazoo), but Dennis Quaid makes the latter - almost as good at going "DAMMIT!" as Kiefer Sutherland, he is. Advantage: Vantage Point.

Altierre Factor: Briana Evigan and Cassie Ventura vs. Sigourney Weaver, Zoe Saldana and the baddies. No contest. Advantage: Step Up 2 The Streets.

Music: Not a fan of what's called "urban" stuff, but Step Up 2 The Streets also has an almost too emotional Aaron Zigman score. Vantage Point's 24-esque music by Atli Örvarsson (and, this being a Hans Zimmer offshoot, others) does at least fit the movie better. Advantage: Vantage Point.

Action: Come on. Advantage: Vantage Point.

Emotional Content: Step Up 2 The Streets does have heart, while Vantage Point only has emotion in the Forest Whitaker parts. Advantage: Step Up 2 The Streets.

Reason To See It In The First Place: I hadn't seen the first Step Up, whereas Vantage Point is a one-off. Advantage: Vantage Point.

Winner: Vantage Point, duh. Briana "Thank goodness she wasn't related to the Bear" Evigan notwithstanding.