The Three Generations Of Crawfords Post.

Just watch it and go "Aaaahhh...", why don't you?

The Family That Sells Together Stays Together Post.

Somebody I have to update Cindy's Wikipedia page to add a complete list of products she's sold over the years (everything from makeup to German banks). Many would say her Pepsi commercial with those two little boys is her finest work, so it's inevitable she should reteam with Pepsi for... water.



Propel Water deserves props for being responsible for the first ad in which all four members of the world's most gorgeous celeb family appear (Presley and Kaia have been in Pepsi and JCPenney spots, and future heartbreaker Kaia modelled for Melissa Odabash to some people's distaste). It is possible that somewhere in the US, there is a family watching this with members sighing over every single person in the above. Age-appropriate, of course.

The Cindy And Children For JCP Post.

The Please Let Kaia Be Okay Post.

E! Online:

Cindy Crawford's the only one who takes photos for money in this bunch.

The supermodel and husband Rande Gerber were targeted by a would-be extortionist who had in his possession a "sexy" photo of the couple's then 7-year-old daughter and wanted to make a deal so the pic "wouldn't end up in the tabloids," according to a federal criminal complaint filed Tuesday.

The couple told investigators that Edis "Eddie" Kayalar, who has since been deported back to his home country of Germany, called them in July, claiming to be a "good person" who just wanted to help them out.

According to the complaint, Kayalar told them that the photo, in which their young daughter was gagged, dressed in shorts and a T-shirt, and tied to a chair, "just wasn't right" and he was "bothered" by it.

Presumably pretty horrified, Gerber and Crawford say that they had no idea such a photograph, which the family's former nanny has admitted to taking "as a prank," even existed.

"A criminal complaint was filed today in federal court in Los Angeles by the U.S. Attorney's office and the FBI, stating that Rande Gerber and Cindy Crawford have been the victims of an ongoing extortion scheme," a rep for the couple said in a statement Thursday.

"There was no previous awareness by Mr. Gerber and Ms. Crawford of the existence of the photograph when they were contacted by Mr. Kayalar. The photo was taken by the former nanny as part of a purported game, without the knowledge of the parents. The couple reported the extortion threat to the police and the FBI began a criminal investigation in the matter.

"Rande Gerber and Cindy Crawford intend to pursue any and all available legal action against anyone who aids the perpetrator in the distribution or sale of the photograph of their daughter."

Per the complaint, Kayalar swiped the alarming-sounding pic from the nanny's apartment after meeting her at a bar. He also apparently got Crawford's cell phone number from there as well, while the nanny was asleep.

Kayalar also said he removed a handwritten note from the apartment that read, "The babysitter went crazy & tied everyone up & they need your help! Please."

Some game.

Kayalar arranged a meeting with Gerber at a bar in Venice, Calif., where he showed the father of two a copy of the picture on his cell phone, saying he had left the original with friends for safekeeping.

Kayalar "hinted that he was 'broke' and would like a monetary reward for returning the photograph," Special Agent Kelly L. Decker wrote.

Kayalar then agreed to meet with Gerber and a deputy sheriff to confront the nanny. When they were all face-to-face, the nanny, who had been fired a week before Kayalar ever got in touch with the family, admitted to taking the picture "as a prank."

Soon after, Gerber told authorities that he had a hard copy of the photo in his possession and had given Kayalar $1,000 in return, but two days later, Kayalar called him back and demanded more money, telling him the tabloids would have paid $500,000.

The LAPD's Major Crimes Bureau was alerted, after which they contacted Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Deportation proceedings against Kayalar kicked off in September.

In a phone call to Gerber from Germany on Nov. 1, Kayalar demanded $100,000 and threatened to give the photo to the media otherwise, the complaint states.

Blaming Gerber and Crawford for his deportation and financial struggles, Kayalar told Gerber that he knew he had committed a "f--ked-up crime" but that he felt he deserved the money.

Actually, he preferred 100,000 euros, because the American dollar was not worth "s--t" in Europe.

FBI spokeswoman Laura Eimiller tells E! News that there is a warrant out for Kayalar's arrest. The nanny, who has not been identified, is not facing any charges at this point.

As for Crawford and Gerber, "they are the victims in this case," Eimiller said.

Unfortunately, it's not the first time pictures of Cindy's daughter have been the cause of misunderstandings. Way to try and mess up an innocent albeit freakishly beautiful YOUNG GIRL WHO WON'T HIT PUBERTY FOR SEVERAL YEARS, people. I would hate to be in Cindy's or Rande's shoes now.

One positive aspect: TMZ did something laudable for once and refused to run the picture, and indeed it doesn't seem to be online anywhere. Nice to see some people have limits.

The You Have To Admit It Did Sound Like A Mom Thing Post.

Quoth MTV:

Much like Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato before her, Cindy Crawford wants everyone to know that she has no beef with Hannah Montana, or, for that matter, with the show's star Miley Cyrus, despite what you may have read online.

Early Tuesday morning, several Web sites (and blogs! - Me) published a quote in which Crawford allegedly told the press that she didn't allow her daughter, Kaia Jordan Gerber, 7, to watch the widely popular Disney series, because it taught her to be "sassy."

"I love Hannah Montana, but [my daughter] learns to be sassy from that show," she was quoted as saying in a story posted on AceShowbiz.com and other sites. "I'll say to her, 'I don't let anyone talk to me like that. I'll certainly not take it from a 7-year-old in my own house.'"

When reached for comment, Crawford's rep told MTV News that the statement was untrue and that Crawford has no issue with the show.

"I don't know where this quote came from. It doesn't sound like Cindy," the rep said. "I just spoke to Cindy, and she said that she is a fan of Hannah Montana, and she has taken her daughter to multiple shows."

With that out of the way, maybe the Crawford clan will be rooting for Cyrus this Sunday, when the 16-year-old is up for a Golden Globe for her Bolt song "I Thought I Lost You."

And if Cindy and Kaia really are fans, they'll get to enjoy more Hannah Montana in 2009, both on the small and big screens, and more Miley, as young star starts to expand into other movie roles. No word yet on how many of those will be sassy.

I'm certainly rooting for Miley this Sunday night/Monday morning (and looking forward to the red carpet show, which unlike the Globes themselves [so far as I know] is definitely on in the UK - come on, Blake Lively and Hayden Panettiere presenting? How could I miss it?). Note to press outlets: it's Kaia, not (as it was in the piece above until I changed it) Kaya...

The Mix It All Together And You Know You Got The Worst Of Both Worlds Post.

Supermodel Cindy Crawford has banned her young daughter from watching Miley Cyrus' hit TV show Hannah Montana, because it teaches her to talk back. The star claims seven-year-old Kaia became rude and cocky after watching the teen hit - about a schoolgirl with a secret life as a pop star. Crawford says, "I love Hannah Montana, but she (daughter) learns to be sassy from that show. I'll say to her, 'I don't let anyone talk to me like that. I'll certainly not take it from a seven year old in my own house.'"

If there was ever any doubt about Cindy being a mummy you can imagine your own mum being like (as opposed to, say, Madonna), it's gone now. That said, if Kaia modelled herself after London "Yay me!" Tipton from The Suite Life Of Zack & Cody/On Deck, then an intervention might be called for.

The Cindy, Cindy And More Cindy Post.

Because the ones of her looking like Amy Winehouse have been everywhere.

The Happiest Place On Earth Post.

Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale and the two blokes were in London's West End last night for the premiere of High School Musical 3. Other than the Disney link and the drop-dead-gorgeous aspect, that has no connection to what this post is about.




Here's Cindy attending Miley Cyrus's 16th birthday party at Disneyland over the weekend, with Kaia (who is almost certainly a Disney fan - they were at the High School Musical 2 premiere as well) and Presley. Why is he looking at Minnie Mouse that way? Mini-perv. Anyway, the event was a treat for lady-watchers (Jennifer Love Hewitt and Tyra Banks were also among the guests), and the babe-on-the-cusp that is Miley also performed, but it's all about Cindy in these parts.

For the record, Miley's actual Sweet 16 takes place on November 23rd. I thought only the Queen of England had two birthdays.

The Goodbye And Hello Post.

In memory of:

Geoffrey Perkins (much-loved BBC/independent comedy producer, who'll always be cherished by me for producing most of The Hitch-Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy and for writing and performing in Radio Active).

Don LaFontaine (the man of a thousand trailers).

The Bandit's best mate, Jerry Reed. He's east bound, watch ol' Bandit run...



On a much, much happier note, Cindy's beautiful little girl Kaia Jordan Gerber is seven years old today. Many happy returns. And may life go on, and the thrill of living never go...

The Cindy Like Sunday Morning Post.

Any questions?

The Make A Wish Post.

Today marks the sixth birthday of Cindy's heartbreaker-in-training daughter, Kaia. May she grow up to inherit her mother's charm and warmth as well as good looks. (And it's a bank holiday Stateside as well - is there any day better to have a birthday than on a day when you don't have to go to work? Or school in her case?)

Happy birthday, m'dear!

Bring on the weekend.

Ken, who updates his blog about as often as Michelle Williams has a hit record, sent me clips of Paula Marshall on Californication - since he doesn't update, and since this blog doesn't do NSFW pictures, see snaps here. You now know how she could have done something about her reputation as a show killer (plus copious nudity would only have made the already-good Cupid even better. Granted, Channel 5 ran all fifteen episodes in an afternoon slot (and they've never been repeated), but...).

Meanwhile, even though Hayden Panettiere's FHM spread is all over the Net, I've decided to save myself and wait until actually buying the magazine (and only in the version with her solo cover - no offence, Masi Oka [a rare case of FHM having a guy on the cover, even if he shares space on one with her] ) ... the last time I did something like this, even unto deleting pictures unopened in my inbox, was with Cindy's last Playboy spread. That says a lot about the young lady. In fact, what with her magazine shoot and a Blades of Glory score CD coming out (and not download-only like some Lakeshore albums) it's all good.

Finally managed to get Cindy and her offspring up. That family must need a whole forest's worth of sticks to beat them off with.