White spats and lots of dollars

Well, yesterday was the first time Mum had afternoon tea at the Ritz, as a surprise on her 60th. And the first time for Sharon and Zeta. And myself.

On the upside, the pianist played "Happy Birthday to You" at one point, although it wasn't for Mum (another, presumably richer, tea-taker was celebrating her 72nd); on the downside, he also played "All By Myself" and "Mandy."

On the upside, there was a very pretty American girl sitting two tables away from me who looked a little like Alexa Vega; on the downside, there was a very nonpretty American man sitting at the table directly behind me chuntering on about The Partridge Family and Midsomer Murders. (Then again, the 72nd birthday celebrater tried to flatter us by suggesting Mum and the sisters were my girlfriends - if the American babe had been right next to us I'd have been even more embarrassed.)

On the upside, Mum continually showed her concern for my health by asking me not to eat so much scones and have tea with less sugar in it (I eventually did); on the downside, Mum continually showed her concern for my health by asking me not to eat so much scones and have tea with less sugar in it.

On the upside, the tea I had (two pots of Traditional English) was the best I've had in a long, long time; on the downside, I managed to drop my napkin and a raspberry on the floor.

On the upside, it wasn't nearly as bad an experience as dreaded. On the downside, I can wait a while before doing it again. Still, I'm glad my mum isn't Jen's mum or Mike's mum, right folks?

Putting on the Ritz

On Wednesday it's Mum's 60th birthday, and we're going to go to have tea at the Ritz (unbeknownst to Mum, natch). All well and good, eh? Except...



...that I do not feel at home in formal dress. Never have.



Nor do I really enjoy spending so much time with so many relatives. I always feel uncomfortable in those circumstances; even as a boy I much preferred being curled up in a room somewhere at parties.

Then again, it is Mum's 60th. And at the very least, it'll be a break from World Cup Cricket and endless reality shows (I don't care about house makeovers, I don't want to watch weddings being planned, and I do not give a fuck about who's still in the running to be America's Next Top Model!).

Something good this Friday at last!

Having spent this Good Friday
a) lying on my bed,
b) hearing Mum's CDs of indescribably dreary Barbadian covers (music to go into a coma by),
c) going to Burger King and getting waylaid by beggars twice (the management told them both to leave, but not before I gave the first one a pound),
and d) enduring Mum's seemingly unquenchable desire for endless quiz shows, American Idol (with added Cat Deeley for UK audiences - thank goodness for the Sunday afternoon repeat of Ugly Betty!) and other stuff I wouldn't watch even if there wasn't anything else on,
I finally found something I could stand. And I got to add something to this as a bonus. I didn't find the trailer for Good Luck Chuck particularly amusing, but the apparently charmless D. Cook Esq. is neutralized by the other guy. And by Jessica Alba channeling Cameron Diaz, but without the gooniness and the "I'm not as funny as I think I am"-ness, and therefore improving on the original. It looks better than freaking Norbit, at any rate.
No sign of a UK release date yet, but the trailer welcomes the video bar to this site, or you can see it at the link in the title. If you haven't already. (The Alba goodness kicks in around the :49 mark.)