The Thirty Years Ago Post.

Do younger people who hear songs that were hits in the '80s feel the same way as younger people in the '80s felt when they heard songs that were hits in the '50s? I'd say "Yes."

This morning I did searches for porn star Julia Ann, and for Katie Hopkins. I feel more disgusted about the latter.

Danny Elfman's music for Fifty Shades Of Grey is best enjoyed away from the movie.

And finally, I've decided that the poolside Cindy Crawford is the real thing. Sorry.

The Sia Solution Post.

If she doesn't want to show her face but wants to make it all about the music, why not just not do public appearances for any reason? Let the fans just listen to the music. Mystique held, focus kept on the music, irritating pretentiousness removed, problem solved.

As for interviews, that's what other studios are for.

The Big Mistake Post.

So I'm trying to write part of one story and all of another for a Yuletide challenge. But it coincides with The Very Best Of Michael Nyman: Film Music 1980-2001 being next on the listening post - which I got at a British Heart Foundation shop some weeks ago.


It's immensely annoying. And makes it impossible to write anything story-related. Plus it's more than TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG. So that's fantastic for Nyman fans, but...

The Not Like This Post.

As I write this, Twitter is a-twitter with the news that some criminal (let's call a spade a spade here) has gotten hold of a bunch of nude pictures of women people all over the world want to see nude.  Now I won't lie - if there was a movie with Jennifer Lawrence or Kate Upton or Hayden Panettiere (to name three of the women on the master list - I've seen the list, but you can go look for it yourself) baring all, I'd be wanting to see it.


But there's a difference between willingly disrobing in a movie or in a photoshoot for a magazine and doing so in the privacy of your home for only significant others to see. Why can some people not see that? According to this article, Twitter's suspending the accounts of users who pass on the pics - I can only applaud. Which is another way of saying if you're expecting links to the pictures, you won't find them here.

The So How'd I Do? Post.

Before the standard look at the new shows and their chances at a UK home, let's round up last year...


FOX

Almost Human
What I Said: "With J.J. Abrams involved, better than good."
Was I Right? Yes - Watch bought it.





Brooklyn Nine-Nine
What I Said: "Not out of the question."
Was I Right? B9-9 went to E4.







Dads 
What I Said: "Extremely good, even after the Oscars."
Was I Right? Yep - ITV2 bought it, even after what happened the last time a Seth MacFarlane show was taken by an ITV channel (the ironically named The Winner).







Enlisted
What I Said: "Extremely low."
Was I Right? Yes.




Gang Related
What I Said: "I'd say pretty good. Sky One or Channel 5 sounds about right."
Was I Right? Well, as it happens it's launching later this month on Fox, so...





Murder Police

What I Said: "Fox animated shows usually do."
Was I Right? Fox cancelled this without showing a single episode, so no.





Rake
What I Said: "It might do."
Was I Right? It did, to Universal Channel.





Sleepy Hollow
What I Said: "Sky 1 or Watch will likely come a-calling."
Was I Right? They may well have bid, but it's Universal Channel who got it.





Surviving Jack
What I Said: "Not great."
Was I Right? Oh yeah.








Us & Them
What I Said: "If it does well, it just might."
Was I Right? See Murder Police.






Wayward Pines
What I Said: "It could happen."
Was I Right? Not yet, but it's getting the Fox International Channels treatment. Also, see Gang Related.



NBC



About A Boy

What I Said: "Not out of the question - the film version of High Fidelity wasn't hated in these parts."
Was I Right? It went to Sky 1.




Believe
What I Said: "What part of "Alfonso Cuaron and J.J. Abrams" don't you understand?"
Was I Right? Watch bought it.



The Blacklist
What I Said: "Pretty good."
Was I Right? Yes - this was the first of the new shows to get a UK buyer (SkyLiving).



Chicago PD
What I Said: "Since the original show did, there's a good chance this'll follow."
Was I Right? Not yet.




Crisis
What I Said: "I'm not sure."
Was I Right? Watch took it.



Crossbones
What I Said: "It probably will..."
Was I Right? Not yet.




Dracula
What I Said: "With SkyLiving as one of the partners? Count on it."

Was I Right? Oh yeah. No prizes for guessing where it went.



The Family Guide
What I Said: "Better than Family Tools."
Was I Right? Er, no.





Ironside
What I Said: "The Ving Rhames version of Kojak did, so..."
Was I Right? Surprisingly, yes - 5USA took all nine produced episodes.





The Michael J. Fox Show
What I Said: "High."
Was I Right? No.



The Night Shift
What I Said: "It might, if (it's more like Scrubs and less like Surgical Spirit)."
Was I Right? This is another summer series that hasn't premiered yet...



Sean Saves The World
What I Said: "SkyLiving, TLC or Comedy Central?"
Was I Right? Nope on all three counts.




Undateable
What I Said: "Bill Lawrence sold Scrubs and Cougar Town to the UK, so..."
Was I Right? See The Night Shift.


Welcome To The Family
What I Said: "E4, maybe?"
Was I Right? Not at this time.




ABC



Back In The Game
What I Said: "Not very high, as softball is not played in this country."
Was I Right? Yep.



Betrayal
What I Said: "Not sure."
Was I Right? Nope, as Channel 5 took it.



The Goldbergs
What I Said: "Comedy Central? E4?"
Was I Right? Not yet.



Killer Women
What I Said: "It could do. Sky, Five's channels, SkyLiving, Watch..."
Was I Right? ...or none of the above.



Lucky 7
What I Said: "Wouldn't bet on it."
Was I Right? Bingo!



Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.
What I Said: "Absolutely guaranteed. Only question is who'll get it?"
Was I Right? Definitely - Channel 4 bought it (unsurprisingly, since they've also shown the first two Iron Man movies as well as non-MCU fare like the Alba-era Fantastic Four movies and the X-Men flicks), and it was the first of its class to be scheduled on this side of the Atlantic as well.



Mind Games
What I Said: "Of Christian Slater's three previous series, only My Own Worst Enemy came over. Could go either way."
Was I Right? Indeed, this was more like The Forgotten and Breaking In.



Mixology
What I Said: "Sounds very E4."
Was I Right? I should get my ears checked.



Once Upon A Time In Wonderland
What I Said: "Given the parent show is a hit for Channel 5, I'd say good (though that doesn't mean it'll actually go to Channel 5 - witness Angel and NCIS: Los Angeles)."
Was I Right? So very not - especially since Channel 5 decided to drop the parent show for no apparent reason. Also, the channel has started showing NCIS: Los Angeles...



Resurrection
What I Said: "Very low, probably (the involvement of Brad Pitt's production company notwithstanding)."
Was I Right? So far, yes.



Super Fun Night
What I Said: "Words like "Comedy" and "Central" seem to fit."
Was I Right? Not enough for a fit, it seems.



Trophy Wife
What I Said: "Hmmmm... TLC? SkyLiving?"
Was I Right? Not at this time.



CBS



The Crazy Ones
What I Said: "Pretty good."
Was I Right? Er, no.



Friends With Better Lives
What I Said: "E4 or Comedy Central, maybe?"
Was I Right? It went to Comedy Central.



Hostages
What I Said: "It might."
Was I Right? More than "might" - it was taken by Channel 4.



Intelligence
What I Said: "Sky One, Syfy or Channel 5?"
Was I Right? It was Sky One.



The Millers
What I Said: "After My Name Is Earl and Raising Hope, possible."
Was I Right? Yep - Comedy Central bought it.



Mom
What I Said: "E4? ITV2? Comedy Central? SkyLiving?"
Was I Right? It proved to be ITV2.



Reckless
What I Said: "Watch? Alibi?"
Was I Right? Another summer series.



We Are Men
What I Said: "Comedy Central?"
Was I Right? Yes.



The CW



The Originals
What I Said: "Extremely good, as the parent show's a hit on ITV2."
Was I Right? While the channel was in the running, it was taken by Syfy.



The Tomorrow People
What I Said: "Pretty good."
Was I Right? It's joined the E4 family.



Reign
What I Said: "Not as bad as it might seem."
Was I Right? As it happens, no.



Star-Crossed
What I Said: "ITV2? Five's channels?"
Was I Right? Try Sky 1.



The 100
What I Said: "Very good."
Was I Right? E4 took it.

     

The Actual 10 Reasons To Watch Nashville Post.

The Radio Times website has a list of 10 reasons to watch Nashville (the second season of which started on Mofo* last night). Which is all well and good, but the real 10 reasons look like this.


1. Hayden Panettiere.
2. The actress who plays Juliette.
3. Miss Hayden L. Panettiere.
4. Jansen Panettiere's sister.
5. Wladimir Klitschko's fiancée.
6. The cheerleader from Heroes.
7. The voice of Dot in a bug's life.
8. That girl who used to go out with Milo Ventimiglia.
9. Kirby from Scream 4.
10. The cutie pictured here.


Point made, methinks.




*Actually More4, but I like to call it that in honour of Richard Schiff calling it thus in an early promo for the channel. Yes, I am immature like that.

The Belated Danny Elfman Review Post.

This was written for the blog Mostly Film and posted there in different form last week (you can read it here), but here's the non-edited version. Yes, I'm petty.

Until Monday October 8 2013 I never would have thought that I’d ever celebrate a first at the same time as Danny Elfman, but there you are – that night was the first time I’d ever attended a world premiere concert, and that night marked the first time he’d had a concert devoted to his music for film rather than as a member of the Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo. Danny Elfman’s Music From The Films Of Tim Burton (surprisingly not sponsored by Ronseal, despite it being exactly what it says on the tin) premiered that night to a packed audience at the Royal Albert Hall before going to Leeds (on Tuesday), Glasgow (Wednesday) and Birmingham (Thursday), and hopefully the punters had as glorious a time as most of those attending did.

Truth be told, I was a little bit apprehensive about this – in spite of having been a fan of his from the Sledge Hammer! days, devoting a whole night (or two hours plus) to his work for one director almost implies Elfman’s non-Burton work doesn’t rate concert treatment (John Williams concerts aren’t 100% Spielberg, after all). Yeah, a night of music from the films of Sam Raimi wouldn’t be as commercial, but he has done sterling work for other directors (Sommersby, Mission: Impossible, Gus Van Sant etc). Still, you have to start somewhere, and one of the most successful composer/director collaborations in film history is as good a place as any.

Featuring the BBC Concert Orchestra and the Maida Vale Singers under the baton of film music patron John Mauceri – Elfman, Family Guy to the contrary, doesn’t conduct – the event also had visual support with film clips and Burton artwork for everything from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure onwards (except Charlie And The Chocolate Factory for some reason, with the film’s main title being performed under a montage of scenes from that and other Burton movies rather than have the choir regale us with “Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, the amazing chocolatier”). The players rose to the energetic challenge provided by Mr. Herman’s exploits, but Beetlejuice was a bit more problematic thanks to the choral accompaniment somewhat overwhelming the main theme instead of complementing the orchestra. Sleepy Hollow was effectively pounding and mysterious, while Mars Attacks! continued its fine tradition of disappointing me in some fashion other than musically by marking the evening’s first drawback of having a restricted view, since I couldn’t see the theremin player earning her pay.

One of the biggest complaints some have made about Elfman, along with how his orchestrators are the ones who really do the work (which doesn’t explain how Elfman’s own voice shows through all the different orchestrators over the years) is how all his scores sound the same – the lengthy suite from Big Fish (still his only Oscar-nominated work for Tim Burton to date) is a poetic and gentle riposte to this. “Gentle” is not a word anyone would ever use for the next selection, which was also the first to be greeted with applause before a note was played; there are those who’d argue with the claim at this year’s Oscars that Chicago*was a game-changer, but the term fits comic book scores for years after Batman. The suite presented combined that and Batman Returns, and while Batters was front and centre with the music from the former, the latter used none of his material in favour of the more mournful, mysterious material for the Penguin and Catwoman. What that choice lacked in energy it made up for in underlining Batman Returns having some of the saddest music ever written for a superhero movie, showing that these villains are more misunderstood than evil (though there’s that as well). That said, ending the suite with the first film’s exuberant “Finale” was the right move and a super way to herald the interval.

Part 2 launched with Planet Of The Apes and another reason to curse the view; the players performing the clong-clong-clong in the main title were invisible from where I was. Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride (pleasant, but not a patch on the Chocolate Factory – and while the emphasis on the romantic element was understandable, a bit of “Remains Of The Day” wouldn’t have gone amiss) , Dark Shadows (which made the least impression on me, probably because it’s the only film represented that I haven’t seen yet) and the moving Frankenweenie followed before the evening’s highlight for many – as the overture for  Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas  kicked in, the third reason to hate restricted views walked onto stage to thunderous applause out of my line of vision… ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Daniel Robert Elfman.

A virtual concert-within-a-concert, we were treated to all of JACK! The PUMP-KIN KING’s songs as performed by Elfman, with “What’s This?” in particular being matched up perfectly to Henry Selick’s visuals – although for once they were upstaged by the man himself giving it all he had. As an extra bonus, the RAH audience had a little exclusive in the not-so-little form of Mrs. Burton herself, Helena Bonham Carter, losing her own stage virginity** to deliver “Sally’s Song” (and quite well). She may have gotten a louder response than Elfman, but I’m not sure…  thank goodness Johnny Depp never showed up.

Edward Scissorhands, one of Elfman’s finest – and most, um, “tributed” - scores and for my money still Burton’s best film along with Ed Wood (not represented tonight due to it being one of only two Burton features to date that Elfman sat out***), represented the point where the audio and visual elements met perfectly. As if the choral work and the first chair’s spirited violin for Edward’s tonsorial showing off weren’t enough, there was “Ice Dance”; the sounds of Elfman’s soothing, romantic notes under the sight of the ice-shaving-created storm Winona Ryder moved under… if ever a moment justified the presence of that screen, this was it. Stunning in 1990, stunning now.

An equally impressive piece from a considerably less impressive film was the last official piece of the night, as the choir took centre stage with “Alice’s Theme” from Alice In Wonderland; that in itself would have been a fine way to finish, but the rock star in Danny Elfman meant we still had to have the encore – and it was back to Christmas in October for “Oogie Boogie’s Song,” with Elfman as Oogie Boogie (throwing in some dance moves to the enthusiasm of the crowd) and conductor Mauceri as poor old Sandy Claws. “You ain’t going nowhere….” and neither were we, especially since the evening finished with Tim Burton himself speaking for us all by telling Elfman that this was his night. And he’d earned all the cheers he received; the US audiences getting this in weeks to come are in for a treat.

You gotta admit, Elfman played this stinkin’ city like a harp from hell.

*Also scored by Elfman (in a Dixieland style; still think he only has one sound?).

**Her word, not mine.

***The other being Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street. But you already knew that, right?

The Alttiere Guide To The 2013-14 Season Post.

No preamble, let's just get to it. It being the new broadcast channel US shows and my extremely flawed guesses on which ones might turn up in the UK. Alttiere, as I never tire of pointing out, refers to the possibility of... um... fodder for straight guys and lesbians (named for Jessica Alba and Hayden Panettiere). So while the homosexual men and straight women complain, onwards.

In order of announcement: 

FOX

Almost Human
From The Good Folks At: Bonanza Productions Inc., Bad Robot and Warner Bros. Television.
What's It About? It's 2048, and cops are partnered with android cops. Our human hero (played by Karl "Bones 2.0" Urban) doesn't like robots, so naturally he's stuck with one... Created by J.H. Wyman, late of Fringe and The Mexican.
Will I Check It Out? It's not out of the question, although Harlan Ellison may be having a word with his lawyers (see Future Cop from the 1970s).
Alttiere Factor: If Lili Taylor doesn't do it for you, there's always Minka Kelly.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: With J.J. Abrams involved, better than good.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

From The Good Folks At: 3 Arts Entertainment and Universal Television.
What's It About? A cop (Andy Samberg) whose relatively easy life gets pulled up short via his new boss (Andre Braugher). From Parks And Recreation alumni Dan Goor and Michael Schur.
Will I Check It Out? Maybe.
Alttiere Factor: Well, there's Melissa Fumero and Stephanie Beatriz as fellow cops.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Not out of the question.
 
Dads 

From The Good Folks At: Fuzzy Door Productions and Twentieth Century Fox Television.
What's It About? Two friends (Seth Green and Giovanni Ribisi) and their dads (Martin Mull and Peter Riegert), and the relationships thereof. Seth MacFarlane, everybody.
Will I Check It Out? As long as it's closer to Ted than The Winner.
Alttiere Factor: Vanessa Lachey and Brenda Song score highly.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Extremely good, even after the Oscars.
 
Enlisted 
From The Good Folks At: Twentieth Century Fox Television.
What's It About? Three brothers all stationed at the same Army base. With hilarious consequences, it says here.
Will I Check It Out? Keith David notwithstanding, it's not likely.
Alttiere Factor: That would seem to be Angelique Cabral's department.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Extremely low.
 

Gang Related
From The Good Folks At: Imagine Television, Chris Morgan Productions, Skeeter Rosenbaum Productions and Twentieth Century Fox Television.
What's It About? A gang member turned cop who teams with another cop to take down the gang he was in - and who is still close to the leader.
Will I Check It Out? It doesn't sound awful, and Terry O'Quinn's involved as well.
Alttiere Factor: The squad includes Shantel VanSanten.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: I'd say pretty good. Sky One or Channel 5 sounds about right.

Murder Police

From The Good Folks At: Bento Box Animation and Twentieth Century Fox Television.
What's It About? Animated comedy focusing on an inept cop - not that the men and women in blue around him are any better for the most part.
Will I Check It Out? Probably.
Alttiere Factor: I doubt Justice will be as hot as Calhoun from Wreck-It Ralph (also voiced by Jane Lynch).
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Fox animated shows usually do.

Rake
From The Good Folks At: Fedora Entertainment, Essential Media & Entertainment Pty Ltd. and Sony Pictures Television.
What's It About? A lawyer whose life in and out of court is no bed of roses. Based on the Australian show of the same name.
Will I Check It Out? Well, Sam Raimi directed the pilot - but unfortunately I'm not allowed to do remakes in any direction...
Alttiere Factor: ...even ones with Necar Zadegan, Tara Summers and Miranda Otto.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: It might do.

Sleepy Hollow
From The Good Folks At: K/O Paper Products and Twentieth Century Fox Television.
What's It About? Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman survive to modern times, and it's not looking good for the world with the latter being one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse...
Will I Check It Out? I might do so, Kurtzman and Orci's track record notwithstanding.
Alttiere Factor: Not familiar enough with Nicole Beharie and Katia Winter to judge.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Sky 1 or Watch will likely come a-calling.
  

Surviving Jack
From The Good Folks At: Doozer and Warner Bros. Television.
What's It About? A dad who has to become a full-time parent to his teenage kids, which at least gives Christopher Meloni a break after years on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.
Will I Check It Out? Not being a single dad (or any kind of dad), maybe... maybe not.
Alttiere Factor: His daughter is played by a cutie called Claudia Lee.
Chances Of Airing In The UK: Not great.

Us & Them
From The Good Folks At: Baby Cow Productions, BBC Worldwide Productions and Sony Pictures Television.
What's It About? A US version of Gavin & Stacey with Jason Ritter and Alexis Bledel in for Mathew Horne and Joanna Page.
Will I Check It Out? Extremely unlikely.
Alttiere Factor: Well, it's got Rory Gilmore back on the box.
Chances Of Airing In The UK: If it does well, it just might.
    

Wayward Pines
From The Good Folks At: Blinding Edge Pictures, Storyland and FX Productions.
What's It About? A Secret Service agent who comes to the title town to find two missing Feds and finds a load more than he bargained for... Created by Runaway and The Playboy Club's Chad Hodge and exec produced by M. Night Shyamalan, so probably not something to get attached to.
Will I Check It Out? I'm not sure.
Alttiere Factor: Carla Gugino will be enough for some.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: It could happen.

NBC

About A Boy

From The Good Folks At: Tribeca Productions, True Jack Productions, Working Title Television and Universal Television.
What's It About? Based on the Nick Hornby book of the same name and the third adaptation of his to be transplanted Stateside, with a single guy who warms to the son of a single mother. Shepherded by Jason Katims (no stranger to bringing filmed books to television after Friday Night Lights and Parenthood), with Jon Favreau directing the pilot and exec produced by Robert De Niro (not that that last one helped NYC 22).
Will I Check It Out? Er, no.
Alttiere Factor: Minnie Driver is the mother.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Not out of the question - the film version of High Fidelity wasn't hated in these parts.

Believe
From The Good Folks At: Bad Robot and Warner Bros. Television.
What's It About? A 10-year-old girl with powers who's been protected for years from evil people, and the only one suitable to keep protecting her is a man locked up for a crime he didn't commit. From Alfonso Cuaron and another expansion of the J.J. Abrams brand.
Will I Check It Out? Sold.
Alttiere Factor: Not apparent yet.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: What part of "Alfonso Cuaron and J.J. Abrams" don't you understand?

The Blacklist
From The Good Folks At: Davis Entertainment and Sony Pictures Television.
What's It About? Wanted fugitive James Spader agrees to help catch a "blacklist" of baddies as long as his partner is fresh-faced newbie profiler Megan Boone.
Will I Check It Out? Not out of the question.
Alttiere Factor: Not sure as yet.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Pretty good.

Chicago PD
From The Good Folks At: Wolf Films and Universal Television.
What's It About? It's a spinoff from Chicago Fire (yes, already) about the boys and girls in blue of the Windy City's District 21.
Will I Check It Out? Er, no.
Alttiere Factor: See The Blacklist.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Since the original show did, there's a good chance this'll follow. 

Crisis
From The Good Folks At: Twentieth Century Fox Television.
What's It About? A busload of privileged children are kidnapped... yes, that's the premise for a whole series, not a movie.
Will I Check It Out? Maybe.
Alttiere Factor: Depending on taste, Gillian Anderson and Rachael Taylor.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: I'm not sure.

Crossbones
From The Good Folks At: Parkes/MacDonald Productions, Georgeville Television and Universal Television.
What's It About? Blackbeard (played by John Malkovich, no less), who in this version isn't quite the villain he's been portrayed as.
Will I Check It Out? Unlikely.
Alttiere Factor: I have no idea.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: It probably will...

Dracula
From The Good Folks At: Flame Ventures, SkyLiving, Playground Entertainment, Universal Television, NBCUniversal International Television Production and Carnival Film & Television.
What's It About? Like Dracula: The Series, the fanged one is pretending to be a businessman - but this time it's in the 19th century and he's out for revenge against the ones who made him a vampire in the first place. With Jonathan Rhys Meyers this time.
Will I Check It Out? I don't know. I really don't know.
Alttiere Factor: I'm guessing Jessica De Gouw and Katie McGrath.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: With SkyLiving as one of the partners? Count on it.

 

The Family Guide
From The Good Folks At: Aggregate Films and Universal Television.
What's It About? About the son in a family who has to come to terms with his parents divorcing, and how it affects said family. J.K. Simmons' second sitcom with "Family" in the title after Family Tools, but this one isn't a remake. Executive produced by Jason "Michael Bluth" Bateman, who also narrates as the grown version of the son.
Will I Check It Out? It sounds interesting.
Alttiere Factor: Parker Posey is the mother in this scenario.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Better than Family Tools.

Ironside
From The Good Folks At: Davis Entertainment, Yellow Brick Road Productions and Universal Television.
What's It About? The long-running (1967-75) series with Raymond Burr gets a drastic makeover - Ironside's now a New York cop (as opposed to being San Francisco Chief of Detectives) as essayed by Blair Underwood. I must admit the answer to the question
Will I Check It Out? is "Extremely unlikely."
Alttiere Factor: I'm guessing Spencer Grammer.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: The Ving Rhames version of Kojak did, so...  

The Michael J. Fox Show
From The Good Folks At: Olive Bridge Entertainment, Lottery Hill Entertainment and Sony Pictures Television.
What's It About? The return to regular TV of a beloved screen face several years after Parkinson's Disease took a hold of him - only the fictional one is a news anchor. It's a comedy, happily.
Will I Check It Out? Let me think... yes.
Alttiere Factor: Betsy Brandt, late of Breaking Bad, is here. Hopefully there won't be a reprise of what happened with Carla Gugino on Spin City.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: High.

The Night Shift
From The Good Folks At: Sachs/Judah and Sony Pictures Television.
What's It About? The title staff in a hospital, and the dedicated folks therein, even at the risks of their jobs.
Will I Check It Out? If it's more like Scrubs and less like Surgical Spirit, yes.
Alttiere Factor: Undetermined at press time.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: It might, if... see Will I Check It Out? above.

Sean Saves The World
From The Good Folks At: Garfield Grove Productions, Hazy Mills Productions and Universal Television.
What's It About? Divorced gay dad juggling his work, his family and his teenage daughter, especially when the latter moves in with him. The Sean is Sean P. Hayes, who after producing two hit shows (Hot In Cleveland and Grimm) is now doing one for himself post-Will & Grace.
Will I Check It Out? As Victor Fresco from Better Off Ted is involved, quite possibly.
Alttiere Factor: Sami Isler (as the daughter) and Megan Hilty (in the role Lindsay Sloane played in the pilot) are also involved.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: SkyLiving, TLC or Comedy Central?

Undateable
From The Good Folks At: Doozer and Warner Bros. Television.
What's It About? A guy whose new roommate has a bunch of friends seriously unlucky in love. The roommate in question scores with the guy's sister...
Will I Check It Out? I don't know.
Alttiere Factor: Sis is played by Bianca Kajlich, fresh off Rules Of Engagement.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Bill Lawrence sold Scrubs and Cougar Town to the UK, so...  

Welcome To The Family
From The Good Folks At: FanFare Productions and Sony Pictures Television.
What's It About? Two families who find that the daughter of one is pregnant (just after graduation) by the son of another. Also, the daughter's a WASP and the son isn't. Cue culture clash with humour.
Will I Check It Out? It's possible.
Alttiere Factor: The daughter is Gossip Girl's Ella Rae Peck; the mothers are Mary McCormack and Justina Machado. So all told, not bad.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: E4, maybe?

ABC

Back In The Game
From The Good Folks At:  Cullen Bros., Kapital Entertainment and Twentieth Century Fox Television.
What's It About? Ex-softball player and now single mother who gets the title status when she agrees to coach a team of useless would-be players (including her own son).
Will I Check It Out? Probably not, James Caan (as our heroine's dad) notwithstanding.
Alttiere Factor: Maggie Lawson is the player.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Not very high, as softball is not played in this country.

Betrayal
From The Good Folks At: ABC Studios.
What's It About? A photographer and a lawyer fall in love - but the lawyer has to defend his boss's son in a murder trial... and the photographer's husband is the prosecutor. Awk-warrrd...
Will I Check It Out? Unlikely.
Alttiere Factor: I'll get back to you.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Not sure.

The Goldbergs
From The Good Folks At: Happy Madison Productions and Sony Pictures Television.
What's It About? The title family (as captured on video by the 11-year-old son of the brood).
Will I Check It Out? Depends if it shows up here.
Alttiere Factor: From the press release: "Sister Erica (Hayley Orrantia) is 17, hot, terrifying and not one to mess with."
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Comedy Central? E4?

Killer Women
From The Good Folks At:  Electus, Latin World Entertainment and ABC Studios
What's It About? Parker: Texas Ranger, who's the only female in this milieu. Written by Hannah Shakespeare, probably no relation.
Will I Check It Out? Not out of the question.
Alttiere Factor: Number Six herself, Tricia Helfer, is our heroine. There are those who believe Sofia Vergara, one of the executive producers, rules this category.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: It could do. Sky, Five's channels, SkyLiving, Watch...

Lucky 7
From The Good Folks At: Amblin Television and ABC Studios. 
What's It About? A US version of The Syndicate, a show I've never watched.
Will I Check It Out? Er, no.
Alttiere Factor: Not sure, really.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Wouldn't bet on it. 

Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.
From The Good Folks At: Mutant Enemy Inc., ABC Studios and Marvel Television.
What's It About? Marvel's first non-animated TV series follows agents from the title organization, under the heading of Agent Coulson (yep, he's still alive!).
Will I Check It Out? Definitely.
Alttiere Factor: Ming-Na Wen, Chloe Bennet and Elizabeth Henstridge do you?
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Absolutely guaranteed. Only question is who'll get it?

Mind Games
From The Good Folks At: Twentieth Century Fox Television.
What's It About? Two brothers (Steve Zahn and Christian Slater) who help their clients "using the hard science of psychological manipulation." Meaning con games with help from science and mind-screwing...
Will I Check It Out? Maybe.
Alttiere Factor: Megalyn Echikunwoke comes to mind.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Of Christian Slater's three previous series, only My Own Worst Enemy came over. Could go either way.

Mixology
From The Good Folks At: Ryan Seacrest Productions and ABC Studios.
What's It About? Ten people and a bar, and all of them are single. Throw together and watch what happens.
Will I Check It Out? A good question.
Alttiere Factor: Hi there, Vanessa Lengies and Sarah Bolger.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Sounds very E4.

Once Upon A Time In Wonderland
From The Good Folks At: Kitsis/Horowitz and ABC Studios.
What's It About? A spinoff from Once Upon A Time, focusing on Alice and her journey back to Wonderland (not Underland, whatever Tim Burton's massively flawed film may think). With the White Rabbit, the Queen of Hearts and all.
Will I Check It Out? As I like the parent show, yes.
Alttiere Factor: There's Sophie Lowe as Alice and Hollyoaks graduate Emma Rigby as the Queen of Hearts (as opposed to Barbara Hershey).
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Given the parent show is a hit for Channel 5, I'd say good (though that doesn't mean it'll actually go to Channel 5 - witness Angel and NCIS: Los Angeles).
 
Resurrection
From The Good Folks At: Brillstein Entertainment Partners, Plan B and ABC Studios.
What's It About? A small town's deceased inhabitants start coming back, in what may or may not be a US redo of Les Revenants.
Will I Check It Out? Probably not.
Alttiere Factor: Samaire Armstrong seems to be it.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Very low, probably (the involvement of Brad Pitt's production company notwithstanding).

Super Fun Night
From The Good Folks At: Bonanza Productions Inc., Conaco and Warner Bros. Television.
What's It About? An attorney and her two best friends get together every Friday night, until she gets promoted and makes a new male friend.
Will I Check It Out? That is a very good question, and will have to wait until I can see Pitch Perfect and get a reading on Rebel Wilson, who plays the lead and scripted the pilot.
Alttiere Factor: If Rebel isn't your type, there's always Liza Lapira and Lauren Ash as her friends.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Words like "Comedy" and "Central" seem to fit.

Trophy Wife
From The Good Folks At: Whatever Other Companies Are Involved and ABC Studios.
What's It About? A woman who becomes a man's third wife and has to deal with three stepchildren - and his exes.
Will I Check It Out? Unsure.
Alttiere Factor: Malin Akerman is the title, so that's enough for some.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Hmmmm... TLC? SkyLiving?

 

CBS

The Crazy Ones
From The Good Folks At: David E. Kelley Productions and Twentieth Century Fox Television.
What's It About? Advertising executive Robin Williams is partners in his agency with his more balanced daughter Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Will I Check It Out? Robin Williams and Sarah Michelle Gellar in a David E. Kelley show. Well, duh.
Alttiere Factor: Welcome back, Mrs. Prinze.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Pretty good.

Friends With Better Lives
From The Good Folks At: Twentieth Century Fox Television
What's It About? Six friends - two married, two engaged, one divorced and one single - all wondering whether the others have it better.
Will I Check It Out? I don't know.
Alttiere Factor: Majandra Delfino is one of the marrieds, while Brooklyn Decker is engaged.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: E4 or Comedy Central, maybe? 

Hostages
From The Good Folks At: Jerry Bruckheimer Television and Warner Bros. Television.
What's It About? Surgeon Toni Collette's family is held hostage by an evil Fed who wants her to see to it that the US President doesn't survive the operation she's due to perform on him. Based on an Israeli show.
Will I Check It Out? Sounds intriguing, although this can't really run and run. Also, you know, remakes.
Alttiere Factor: It may be down to Sandrine Holt as one of the Fed's team.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: It might.

Intelligence
From The Good Folks At: ABC Studios and CBS Television Studios.
What's It About? A spy who's a supercomputer - he's basically linked directly to the World Wide Web. Like Freakazoid!, only more serious.
Will I Check It Out? This sounds right up my alley...
Alttiere Factor: ...and our hero's partner is Meghan "Ruby/Red Riding Hood" Ory.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Sky One, Syfy or Channel 5?

The Millers
From The Good Folks At: Amigos de Garcia Productions and CBS Television Studios.
What's It About? A divorced man inspires his dad to split up as well, and newly single mum moves in with him.
Oh dear.
Will I Check It Out? Well, Greg Garcia's track record bodes well.
Alttiere Factor: Unsure at posting time.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: After My Name Is Earl and Raising Hope, possible.

Mom
From The Good Folks At: Chuck Lorre Productions and Warner Bros. Television.
What's It About? Anna Faris is a single mother/recovering alcoholic whose life is not a bed of roses. Yes, it's a comedy.
Will I Check It Out? Mike & Molly notwithstanding, probably.
Alttiere Factor: It's Anna Faris. That will be enough for some. For others, Allison Janney plays her mother.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: E4? ITV2? Comedy Central? SkyLiving?

Reckless
From The Good Folks At: Sander/Moses Productions and CBS Television Studios.
What's It About? A litigator and an attorney get involved in a lawsuit against the police - and with each other. This is another one that sounds more like a movie than an ongoing series, but what do I know?
Will I Check It Out? Good question.
Alttiere Factor: That may come from lead actress Anna Wood.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Watch? Alibi?

We Are Men
From The Good Folks At: The Tannenbaum Company and CBS Television Studios.
What's It About? Four single men who don't have the greatest luck with love.
Will I Check It Out? Probably not.
Alttiere Factor: Not sure.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Comedy Central?            

The CW

The Originals
From The Good Folks At: Bonanza Productions Inc., My So-Called Company, Alloy Entertainment, CBS Television Studios and Warner Bros. Television.
What's It About? A spinoff from The Vampire Diaries, focusing on the Original Vampire family. And werewolves. And witches.
Will I Check It Out? Never having made it through an entire episode of the source show, I might not...
Alttiere Factor: ...but the cast includes Claire Holt and Phoebe Tonkin, reunited after H2O: Just Add Water, so I might.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Extremely good, as the parent show's a hit on ITV2.

The Tomorrow People
From The Good Folks At: Berlanti Productions, CBS Television Studios and Warner Bros. Television.
What's It About? Evolutionarily-advanced people... it's the second redo of the Thames show from the '70s (it was revived for Nickelodeon in the '90s, so it seems to be an every-two-decades thing).
Will I Check It Out? Extremely unlikely.
Alttiere Factor: Peyton List (the one from Mad Men, not the one from Jessie) is one of the TP.
Chances Of Airing In The UK: Pretty good. 

Reign
From The Good Folks At:  World 2000 Entertainment, Octagon Films, CBS Television Studios and Warner Bros. Television.
What's It About? The early days of Mary, Queen of Scots.
Will I Check It Out? Unlikely; historical dramas like this don't tempt me much.
Alttiere Factor: Teen Wolf's Adelaine Kane is Mary, and the cast also includes Megan Follows (as Queen Catherine), Neighbours' Caitlin Stasey and an actual Brit (after two Australians and a Canadian) in Anna Popplewell.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Not as bad as it might seem.    

Star-Crossed
From The Good Folks At: Ole Productions, Isla de Babel SL, 360 Powwow, CBS Television Studios and Warner Bros. Television.
What's It About? Ten years after aliens crashlanded on Earth, a group of them will be going to school with human kids - including the alien who grew attached to our main character when they met as younger folk. It's Romeo and Juliet with SF added.
Will I Check It Out? Actually, yes. As long as it's more like Roswell in the first two seasons than Roswell in the final season.
Alttiere Factor: Aimee Teegarden is the human half of the love connection.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: ITV2? Five's channels?

The 100
From The Good Folks At: Bonanza Productions Inc., Alloy Entertainment, CBS Television Studios and Warner Bros. Television. 
What's It About? The descendants of the only people to survive the destruction of civilization send 100 prisoners to Earth to see if the rest can go back there. Interesting.
Will I Check It Out? The last word in the previous paragraph is a hint.
Alttiere Factor: Quite likely given Alloy Entertainment, but so far definitely Kelly Hu.
Chances Of Coming To The UK: Very good.

In Memory Of (shows bought for the UK in italics):
Alphas
Animal Practice
Ben And Kate
The Big C
Body Of Proof
Boss
Breaking Bad
The Closer
Common Law
CSI: NY
Cult
Deception
Dexter
Do No Harm
Don't Trust The B____ In Apartment 23
Emily Owens, M.D.
Enlightened
Fairly Legal
Family Tools
Fringe
Futurama (again)
Go On
Golden Boy
The Goodwin Games
Gossip Girl
Green Lantern: The Animated Series
Guys With Kids
Happy Endings
How To Live With Your Parents (For The Rest Of Your Life)
How To Rock
iCarly
The Inbetweeners (US version)
Jane By Design
Last Resort
Leverage
The Lying Game
Made In Jersey (the first new show to get axed)
Malibu Country
The Mob Doctor
Monday Mornings
The New Normal
Next Caller (which managed to get cancelled before it even aired!)
90210
The Office (see The Inbetweeners)
Pair Of Kings
Partners
Political Animals
Private Practice
Red Widow
Retired At 35
Rules Of Engagement
Save Me
Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated
The Secret Life Of The American Teenager
666 Park Avenue
1600 Penn
Smash
Southland
Spartacus
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
30 Rock
Touch
Unsupervised
Up All Night
Vegas
Victorious
Wedding Band
Weeds
Whitney
Young Justice
Zero Hour

And Pretty Little Liars. At least in the UK... screw you, MTV!

The Sweet 21 And Kissed A Lot In Men's Imagination Post.

Happy birthday, Kate Upton!

Yep, that's it.

The So How Did I Score 'Em? Post.

About last season's new shows and their chances of airing in the UK, that is.
 

FOX

Axe Cop

What I Said: "Not massive."

Was I Right? In a sense - it doesn't even begin in the US until... er, next month.

Ben And Kate (Hemingway Drive/Chernin Entertainment/Twentieth Century Fox Television)
What I Said: "I wouldn't put money on it."

Was I Right? I should have - ITV2 got it.

The Following (Outerbanks Entertainment/Warner Bros. Television)
What I Said: "It's a show involving serial killers. Of course it'll find a British buyer."
Was I Right? Oh yeah - Sky Atlantic bought it.

The Goodwin Games (Bays/Thomas / Twentieth Century Fox Television)
What I Said: "'From the people who gave you How I Met Your Mother' might help E4."

Was I Right? Well, see Axe Cop, with "week" substituted for month.

The Mindy Project (formerly It's Messy) (Kaling International Inc./3 Arts Entertainment/Universal Television)

What I Said: "I wouldn't count it out."
Was I Right? Miss Kaling joins Jane Levy, Kat Dennings, Zooey Deschanel and other sitcom femmes on E4.

The Mob Doctor (Osprey Production Group/Rooney McP Productions/Sony Pictures Television)
What I Said: "If HawthoRNe can..."

Was I Right? Unlike Jada's show, Jordana's hasn't turned up.

NBC

1600 Penn (Angry Child Productions/Small Dog Picture Company/Twentieth Century Fox Television)
What I Said: "If it's as good as the other sitcom Jason Winer's worked on lately (Modern Family), pretty good."

Was I Right? By all accounts it isn't, so it hasn't.

Animal Practice (Open 4 Business Productions LLC/American Work Inc./Universal Television)

What I Said: "No idea."

Was I Right? JoAnna Garcia returned to ITV2 for the first time since her stint on Gossip Girl.

Chicago Fire (Wolf Films/Universal Television)

What I Said: "Not bad. Five's channels, Watch, Sky One..."

Was I Right? ...but it turned out to be SkyLiving.

Deception (formerly Infamous) (BermanBraun/Universal Television)

What I Said: "Sounds right up Alibi's street."

Was I Right? Meagan Good has not found her way to Alibi or any other UK channel with this.

Do No Harm (Mount Mariah/TBD Entertainment/Universal Television)

What I Said: "I think this one might. SkyLiving?"

Was I Right? Watch got it.

 

Go On (Dark Toy Entertainment/Silver & Gold Productions/Universal Television)

What I Said: "I wouldn't count it out. Channel 4 if it's a hit."

Was I Right? Nope.

 

Guys With Kids (Holiday Road/Charlie Grandy Productions Inc./Universal Television)

What I Said: "Comedy Central or E4?"
Was I Right? It was neither them nor any other.

 

Hannibal (Dino De Laurentiis Company/Living Dead Guy Productions/Gaumont International Television)

What I Said: "See The Following."

Was I Right? Yes - it was bought by SkyLiving.

 

The New Normal (Ali Adler Is Here Productions/Ryan Murphy Productions/Twentieth Century Fox Television)
What I Said: "Quite good."
Was I Right? This filled the Ryan Murphy-shaped hole on E4.

 

Next Caller (Lionsgate Television/Universal Television)

What I Said: "Probably possible, really."

Was I Right? Given that NBC pulled the plug on this before the show could even air (and that they won't be screening the episodes already completed), pretty much no.

 

Revolution (Kripke Enterprises/Bad Robot/Warner Bros. Television)

What I Said: "High. Sky, Channel 4, Channel 5, SkyLiving..."
Was I Right? You bet - the Kripke/Abrams lovechild was snapped up by Sky One.
 

Save Me (The John Scott Shepherd Company/Original Film/Sony Pictures Television)
What I Said: It's suitably unreverential-sounding that this could have a shot.

Was I Right? This is another one that's being held for the summer, and no one's come forward for the UK. Yet.

ABC

666 Park Avenue (Alloy Entertainment/Warner Bros. Television)
What I Said: "Based on Alloy's previous track record on British TV, it's likely. ITV2, SkyLiving, Watch..."

Was I Right? For once I was right on one of the suggestions - it followed Gossip Girl and The Vampire Diaries onto ITV2.

Family Tools (The Mark Gordon Company/ITV Studios America/ABC Studios)
What I Said: "Not great."

Was I Right? No UK buyer yet, and probably not ever after its disastrous performance Stateside.

How To Live With Your Parents (For The Rest Of Your Life) (Imagine Television/Hot Lava Girl/Twentieth Century Fox Television)
What I Said: "SkyLiving? E4?"

Was I Right? Well, not at the moment.

Last Resort (Big Sun Productions/MiddKid Productions/Sony Pictures Television)

What I Said: "Shawn Ryan's previous series The Shield, The Unit and The Chicago Code all did. I see no reason why his streak should end with this. Sky One's a possibility." 

Was I Right? Sky One turned out to be a certainty.

Malibu Country (Nest Egg Productions/Acme Productions/Blah Blah Blah Productions/ABC Studios)

What I Said: Her last sitcom never did, alas...

Was I Right? ...and neither has this one.

Mistresses (Good Talk/Bob Sertner Productions/Ecosse Films/ABC Studios)

What I Said: "I'm not sure."

Was I Right? This was one of the first purchases for TLC prior to its UK launch.

Nashville (Walk And Chew Gum, Inc./Cutler Productions/Opry Entertainment/Small Wishes/Lionsgate Television/ABC Studios)

What I Said: "In spite of the country element, I'm still thinking it may. Sky Atlantic, FiveUSA or More4, or even Really?"

Was I Right? Incredibly, yes; More4 got it.

The Neighbors (17/28 Black, Inc./Kapital Entertainment/ABC Studios)
What I Said: "You never know."

Was I Right? Even though it hasn't come over yet...

Red Widow (Tall Girls Productions/3 Arts Entertainment/Endemol USA/ABC Studios)
What I Said: "Possible."

Was I Right? Er, no.

Zero Hour (One Light Road/Di Bonaventura Pictures/ABC Studios)

What I Said: "Good."

Was I Right? See Red Widow.

CBS

Elementary (Hill Of Beans Productions/Timberman-Beverly Productions/CBS Television Studios)
What I Said: "You are joking, right? (Then again, Channel 4 airs the US version of The Killing...)"
Was I Right? ...and like the US versions of Life On Mars, Prime Suspect and, yes, The Killing, this was bought for the UK. In this case, by Sky Living.

Friend Me (The Tannenbaum Company/CBS Television Studios)
What I Said: "E4, maybe?"

Was I Right? Well, this is another one that has yet to actually be, well, shown.

Golden Boy (Nicholas Wootton Productions/Berlanti Productions/Warner Bros. Television)
What I Said: "Alibi, or other channels which love cop shows."

Was I Right? Nope.

Made In Jersey (Left Coast Productions/FanFare Productions/CBS Television Studios/Sony Pictures Television)
What I Said: "The aforementioned Alibi, More4, or perhaps Universal?"

Was I Right? Absolutely not.

Partners (KoMut Entertainment/Warner Bros. Television)

What I Said: "Expect the noisy comet in their logo to land on these shores with this."

Was I Right? No; has the comet's weak track record finally caught up with them?

Vegas (Happy Valley/Tree Line Film/Arthur Sarkissian Productions/CBS Television Studios)

What I Said: "Bet on it. Boom-tish."
Was I Right? If I'd bet I'd have won - Sky Atlantic took it.

The CW

Arrow (Berlanti Productions/DC Comics/Warner Bros. Television)

What I Said: "Extremely good."
Was I Right? Definitely - part of Sky One's lineup.

Beauty & The Beast (Take 5 Productions/Whizbang Films/CBS Television Studios) 

What I Said: "It's not impossible."
Was I Right? The original aired on ITV and Channel 5 (and the Paramount Channel before it began to change its focus), the redo got taken by Watch.

The Carrie Diaries (Fake Empire/A.B. Baby Productions/Warner Bros. Television)

What I Said: "Guaranteed. And given which channel the parent series was a big hit over here for, my money's on it being on E4's or even Channel 4's lineup (you seriously think they'll let ITV2 anywhere near this?)."

Was I Right? Though not secured yet, one's in the offing at the time of writing.

Cult (Rockne S. O'Bannon Television/Fake Empire/CBS Television Studios/Warner Bros. Television)

What I Said: "Not bad. SkyLiving or maybe Syfy?"
Was I Right? Nope, and it's done too badly for any likely buy-in.

Emily Owens, M.D. (The Dan Jinks Company/CBS Television Studios/Warner Bros. Television)

What I Said: It might.

Was I Right? But it probably won't.