Even Jen might go to see this one in a cinema.

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The Night I Wanted To Live On The Continent More Than Usual.

That's continental Europe.
One of my all-time favourite TV shows - The Wild Wild West (do NOT get me started on that movie... then again, you could get a blogging out of it) - is coming to DVD this year, with season one getting put out first on Region 1. And I have a multiregion player; even if I don't ever manage to work out the proper way of connecting it so the images of R1 discs show up in colour it don't matter none in this case, because the first season was in glorious black and white (and I do mean glorious - some of those shows are Cindy Crawford beautiful. A few are Michael Crawford beautiful, but that's the way it goes).
But in France (where the show's always been very popular) seasons two, three and four already have release dates. With English-language tracks thank goodness. Happy birthday to me, hopefully. Another gap in my growing up filled in.
Oh yeah, and in case you're wondering, all but one of the episode titles began "The Night..." Even when most of the action took place in the daytime. That's American TV for you. :)

Rainy days and Tuesdays.

Waking up at Golders Green after falling asleep on the 183, and it's raining. With a little snow. IN FUCKING APRIL. Not a nice way to spend a day off.
Though Jim gave me notice effective of the 14th, meaning this Friday coming is the official last day of my living on Kenton Road, Sharon suggested that I move over to her flat the day before she goes to the Caribbean; this took three days of driving and carrying up two flights of stairs (her driving, [mostly] my carrying), 15 minutes of patiently explaining to ntl that I want to disconnect from that bunch of incompetent no-narks (they're coming for the set-top box next Saturday) - the first chance I get I'm getting Sky again - and lots of early departures.
And losing just ten pounds of my deposit because of my not washing all the linen. (And leaving the milk behind... I hope they find it, because they've got my keys.)
And getting into a quarrel with that no-talent jumped-up sub-fourth-form attention-seeking asshole M@ (even his name is revolting), but enough about that. Let's just say that I've had more stress from that than from lugging the boxes over, and leave it at that.
On the upside, my CDs arrived just in time, my Cineworld card will be paid up, and it's a holiday weekend. Life could be worse. Oh, and note to Kira's Slave - there will be no links to Biel's behind. Here are links to a hopefully 16-year-old Hayden Panetierre and a definitely well over 16-year-old Aria Giovanni instead. :)

As if demons weren't enough...

Last week Five announced that the eighth and final season of Charmed wouldn't be shown on the home of CSI and Everybody Hates Chris like the previous seven were, only for Channel 4 to pick up the ball and expose terrestrial fans of quietly alluring Piper, voluptuously sexy Paige and not-quite-as-bewitching-as-the-other-two-but-still-pretty-hot-is-that-all-right-Jen? Phoebe to what happened after they faked their own deaths and made everyone see three not-quite-as-attractive ladies in their place. This is actually pretty good going compared to Alias, Xena: Warrior Princess or Angel (Five did finish La Femme Nikita, but we were talking about shows that I actually watch... which would technically also dismiss Angel, but that's another thing), and at least those fans who don't have LivingTV will get to see the final season. And for better or worse, Billie.
The trouble is, the Charmed Ones have to suffer the fate of Stargate SG-1, Star Trek: Enterprise and The O.C., and be shown as part of T4. T4 is a Sunday morning-to-afternoon programming strand aimed at teenagers and people recovering from Saturday nights on the tiles with grating presenters, interviews and music interspersed with TV shows, and as well as the dreaded credit squeezes and verbal diarrhoea in place of (not even over - in place of) music, the time of day means episodes can and have been (and will be) edited. One staggeringly pointless scenario had the car hitting that surfer dude in The O.C. cut from the episode it appeared in and yet we still saw it in subsequent "Previously on The O.C." bits... so what was the point again?
The eighth season itself isn't as dreadful as some have said, even if "Battle Of The Sexes" was a real step backwards (one of the good things about the show is that like the novels of Mary Higgins Clark, it was a female-powered thing that never tried to get on a soapbox or felt the need to attack men - this episode was a very jarring misstep, and the fact that the villain was female didn't change that) - even Billie's quest for her sister isn't unbearable, and the episode that was inspired by Mr & Mrs Smith was actually better than the film itself. And best of all, that damn cat's finally gone from the opening credits. The Halliwells deserve better than to be squashed in between inane interviews and Hollyoaks (don't ask) - but they still haven't had the treatment poor Sydney Bristow got from British TV. Blub.

The laughably dubbed Weekend Update.

Cindy: Got most of my stuff moved over to Sharon's flat over the weekend.
Vanessa: Irritated when one of my boxes of Cindy magazines burst open (after I tripped, mind - this was the only box to come open in the transfer), Sharon asked me if I'd ever heard of de-cluttering. Never ask a collector about de-cluttering.
Cindy: More exercise...
Vanessa: ...because the only bus passing right by Sharon's flat doesn't start until 6:30 on weekday mornings. Cue 20-minute walk for an earlier one.
Cindy: One of the new people at work. Anneza. Looks a little like Michelle Branch. Short. The first person I could be attracted to here since Karen left.
Vanessa: I'm too shy to go out with straight women, it seems.
Cindy: Tuesday is a day off for me to get into Sharon's place. And get more time online.
Vanessa: Hallmark snipping of Gilmore girls. Don't think we can't tell.
Cindy: Record store sales. Especially at Virgin. Bring on next weekend.
Vanessa: Being subjected to Sharon's line in music (number of times I can stand listening to Jamie Foxx or whatever: 1, at the most). And I dread having to explain to Shaz the backstory on Lost if it starts up while I'm still there (and it will... clashing with Medium to boot).
Cindy: The junk contained inside Jessica Biel's trunk.
Vanessa: Jessica Biel's website, non-updated for so long that she's still listed as being on 7th Heaven and doesn't mention Blade:Trinity or Stealth. Then again, in her case that's probably a Cindy...

Black and white and red all over and thrown away in disgust.

The trouble with reading The Guardian is that some of its contributors err on the side of cuntishness. On Thursday, Hannah Pool took time off from her usual job of writing about makeup to do what all the black journalists writing for it seem obliged to do, namely play the racism card (which at times seems to be all Gary Younge in particular writes about) in an article complaining about the treatment given Condoleeza Rice, an ex-Big Brother contestant, the star of BBC2's Don't Mess With Miss Beckles, and Naomi Campbell. The link above will take you to the full rant (and the comments about it, many of which are far more incisive than hers or mine)...
Racism? Yes, there's a lot of it in the press, but none of them are reviled because they're black women - Naomi Campbell in particular isn't attacked because she's black, she's attacked because she's a vile waste of DNA. It came as no surprise to me that the writer also contributes to the Evening Standard...
It's articles like this that make me glad I've stopped buying it every day.

Sisters are listing it for themselves.

Since FHM can't have all the fun, New Woman's readers picked their 100 Most Beautiful Women Of All Time. This being a mag for and often by older women, the list skews fairly old-school. The full list is here because of who's at number three. And the only two people to top her are deceased. (New Woman is a British magazine, which explains the presence of several people on this list. If not on this planet.)

1 Audrey Hepburn.
2 Grace Kelly.
3 Cindy Crawford.
4 Sophia Loren.
5 Marilyn Monroe.
6 Angelina Jolie.
7 Catherine Zeta-Jones.
8 Diana, Princess of Wales.
9 Halle Berry.
10 Scarlett Johansson.
11 Kate Moss.
12 Elizabeth Taylor.
13 Cameron Diaz.
14 Vivien Leigh.
15 Charlize Theron.
16 Nicole Kidman.
17 Claudia Schiffer.
18 Rita Hayworth.
19 Ingrid Bergman.
20 Julie Christie.
21 Jennifer Lopez.
22 Gwyneth Paltrow.
23 Nigella Lawson.
24 Twiggy.
25 Joan Collins.
26 Sienna Miller.
27 Jean Shrimpton.
28 Madonna.
29 Gisele Bundchen.
30 Marlene Dietrich.
31 Brigitte Bardot.
32 Naomi Campbell.
33 Julia Roberts.
34 Catherine Deneuve.
35 Keira Knightley.
36 Thandie Newton.
37 Elle Macpherson.
38 Liv Tyler.
39 Katharine Hepburn.
40 Elizabeth Hurley.
41 Dita Von Teese.
42 Jennifer Aniston.
43 Helena Christensen.
44 Natalie Portman.
45 Sharon Stone.
46 Raquel Welch.
47 Greta Garbo.
48 Kylie Minogue.
49 Victoria Beckham.
50 Lauren Bacall.
51 Mischa Barton.
52 Ava Gardner.
53 Kate Winslet.
54 Gwen Stefani.
55 Rachel Weisz.
56 Natalie Imbruglia.
57 Teri Hatcher.
58 Felicity Kendal.
59 Debbie Harry.
60 Lucy Liu.
61 Kelly Brook.
62 Beyonce.
63 Jackie Onassis.
64 Pamela Anderson.
65 Sophie Dahl.
66 Uma Thurman.
67 Cat Deeley.
68 Jordan.
69 Joanna Lumley.
70 Courteney Cox.
71 Charlotte Rampling.
72 Meg Ryan.
73 Eva Longoria.
74 Caroline, Princess of Monaco.
75 Kate Beckinsale.
76 Yasmin Le Bon.
77 Kate Middleton.
78 Anna Ford.
79 Cate Blanchett.
80 Tess Daly.
81 Christy Turlington.
82 Vanessa Paradis.
83 Jane Fonda.
84 Jerry Hall.
85 Melanie Sykes.
86 Charlotte Church.
87 Juliette Binoche.
88 Carol Vorderman.
89 Reese Witherspoon.
90 Michelle Pfeiffer.
91 Natasha Kaplinsky.
92 Coleen McLoughlin.
93 Nicole Richie.
94 Evangeline Lilly.
95 Demi Moore.
96 Jenni Falconer.
97 Jessica Simpson.
98 Patsy Kensit.
99 Paris Hilton.
100 Anna Kournikova.

The thing is, this is still more varied than the average men's mag...

Dammit.

I was sitting here, trying to think of something I wanted to post about. After a while, I finally remembered what it was. Then I forgot again.

Then I remembered. :)

Unfortunately it was to rail against the Bahamas for blocking Brokeback Mountain. Would they be so eager to block it if it starred Jessica Alba (congrats on the apology, by the way) and Cindy Crawford? (Quite possibly, actually.)

And now it's off to work, to grit my teeth when Irena puts on her played-to-death CD-Rs of Andy Abraham from The X Factor (do a search and prepare to retch) and others like him. Almost makes me cherish American Idol. Almost.

And this week's prize for making Caribbean people laugh unintentionally goes to...

Yesterday, the man Private Eye likes to call the Rev. A.R.P. Blair announced the creation of a UK FBI-type organisation. Nothing wrong with that - certainly better than having a UK equivalent of the Ku Klux Klan, right? (Sadly we do have something in that sort of territory, but that's much, much more than enough about the BNP.)
The thing is... well, when Free Willy came out a lot of jokes were made about the double entendre of the title for British audiences (I remember the trailer played when I went to see Much Ado About Nothing and one of the audience members chuckled "Obviously an American film") - but the title stayed, and since the BBC subsequently showed all three films and the TV cartoon nobody seemed to mind much. (Not the way the Beeb did when they changed the title for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but never mind.) And when you see what the organisation's name is - Serious Organised Crime Agency - and notice that the resulting acronym shares its name with a type of music that has yet to have any real Rihanna-type exposure worldwide (Buster Poindexter cover versions notwithstanding), and not only because the singers aren't as sexy... see here and here for more.
Of course, it could just be an example of multicultural Britain. Yeah, sure it is. And Butch is white, I'm thin, Jennifer's going to tell us where she lives, and the Harem-master will update.

Monday Morning Update.

Cindy: Laetitia Casta is making another movie, which explains why she's been reasonably invisible of late. (To be continued.)
Vanessa: The moving day is next Tuesday and I still haven't arranged for vans, or anything of that sort.
Cindy: It's not likely to cost that much. Always live alone in as small a space as possible.
Vanessa: First class stamps going up again. It might not seem much to you, but I work in direct mail, so it matters to me. Especially as my employers don't buy stamps for their mail...
Cindy: British Summer Time.
Vanessa: Pensions starting to be deducted from wages again after a five-month gap. Does my boss know anything? They should never have been stopped in the first place!
Cindy: Naomi Campbell arrested and Jill Carroll released at last. Justice is done, sometimes.
Vanessa: Yahoo!'s new Beta Mail. Have you ever noticed that their "improvements" are almost always more trouble than they're worth?
Cindy: Willa Holland on The O.C. as Marissa's sister Kaitlin, previously on the verge of becoming the Chuck Cunningham of the show. Nice.
Vanessa: She's supposed to be 14 on the show. And in real life she's 15. Damn these age limits.
Cindy: Most of my ordered CDs have arrived with plenty of time to spare...
Vanessa: ...except Ghostbusters and The Cutting Edge: The Deluxe Edition, which haven't even been processed yet! Forwarding address, here I come.
Cindy: Laetitia Casta's also pregnant with her second child. Another (understandable, not least from the guy's point of view) reason for her invisibility... :)