Monday, April 30, 2012

The How "Battleship" Could Have Been Better Post.

A couple of these may count as spoilers.

1. Give the aliens some more definition.
2. Give Liam Neeson more to do.
3. Scrap the decision to set a scene to the theme from The Pink Panther.
4. Don't hire Steve Jablonsky to do the music (see also: any other production that does this).
5. Lose the "Transformers meets Dad's Army" climax, especially since one particular move was done better in Fair Game.
6. Keep an F-word in the movie.
7. Have people worth cheering on (no one here, except for the amputee ex-soldier and the geeky guy from the observatory, really qualifies).
8. As someone suggested, have a Rihanna/Brooklyn Decker makeout scene (the two never appear together). Did "Te Amo" (with Rihanna and Laetitia Casta) teach you nothing?
9. Include the star of Rihanna's only other movie to date. Seriously, this film could have benefitted from the ever-likeable and ever-hot Hayden Panettiere, cheerleading (Bring It On: All Or Nothing) or no.

Monday, April 09, 2012

The Kate Cottontail Post.

As the Easter Bunny is a symbol of fertility, having Kate Upton play Peter Cottontail makes perfect sense. Also, she's way more attractive than Jessica Rabbit and the Caramel bunny.

Plus, y'know, no risk of bestiality.