Friday, July 27, 2007

With thanks to Holy Moly!

Perez: This shirt. If you are Mike. Don't worry, I won't get one.

Cindy: This petition. Which, though certainly speaking for me, is a bit unfair on Butch, Tom, Evil, John, Ken, Teresa, Gugs and the Board Members.

Perez: Companies who use remarkably wasteful packaging, large packets division. (Two big cardboard boxes and a silver envelope for a TOWEL?!) I'm hardly environmentally friendly, but come on.

Cindy: The Showtime marketing department, for deciding that the best way to advertise season three of Weeds was to have Mary Louise Parker wearing a snake and nothing else. And actually showing some of the goods for once (not in her case, but in the case of ads like this). Still not planning to start watching the show again, mind.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Morning, folks.

I usually wake up early, or try to. On Wednesday I woke up at 4:15, which is late by my standards; so I only managed to be online briefly before leaving for work. I blame my lengthy sleep on being uncharacteristically tension-free thanks to Abbey National writing to me to tell me they're only swiping £20 from my hard-earned next month.

In the evening part of the North Circular was closed off, making my journey home last from about 4:20 to 7:00. Thus shortening my online time before having to go to bed.

Still, it wasn't all bad - what with Jessica Alba being on the market again and Heroes arriving on BBC2 the day landed on the credit side. Now if we could just get Serena Williams to pose naked again without the flowers, we'd be good to go. (Incidentally, confession time: the reason I can't get into Ali Larter - apart from her character on the show - is that I used to work with a Pakistani guy called Ali and that really gets in the way. More so than it did with Ali Landry. Ah well.)

Monday, July 23, 2007

The-last-day-off-before-going-back-to-work Update.

Cindy: Not going out, and therefore avoiding all the grim weather.

Perez (the new Feltz): Even indoors, cloudy Mondays aren't what you want.

Cindy: Ice Princess. Charming Disney family-movie-primarily-aimed-at-young-girls, and not not only because of Michelle Trachtenberg's legs and Hayden Panettiere's... smile (she wasn't legal when it came out).

Perez: More complaints about her singing from bloggers. As long as Lily Allen exists, there is no reason to complain about Hayden.

Cindy: Payday this Friday! Sharon, The 'burbs, F/X, the Paramount promo and (if they're available by then) Panettiere photo session ticket here her I come!

Perez: Tomorrow's Tuesday.

Cindy: The latest Keith Olbermann directive as passed on by Butch.

Perez: Mike. Not Mike per se, but the problems he's been having lately.

Cindy: Having relatives and friends who have interest in me. The older I get, the more I appreciate them...

Bonus Cindy: Remember, Heroes begins on BBC2 this Wednesday. If Sharon's boyfriend is reading this (you never know), I INSIST you watch it. And get Sharon to watch it as well. She might like it.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

This has been a production of The Cindy Spot.

In the US, Rihanna has finally been knocked off the number one spot (good work, Butch!). Over here she's still at the top, so it'll probably continue raining... but there's still things to make you smile in this world, like Agent Provocateur chucking Kate Moss in the bin and hiring the genuinely sexy Maggie Gyllenhaal instead. And production company logos.

Sharon's gotten into Everybody Loves Raymond (which isn't true for UK audiences generally, boom-tish!) thanks to Paramount Comedy, and I mentioned that I heard the Where's Lunch bit at the end only reused one meal in all nine seasons of the show. Shaz doesn't notice these things even though she watches it a lot more than I do, but then I love end credits. And company logos. And the names of companies. To get more self-indulgent, and because American TV shows are great for this kind of thing, here are ten of my favourites, with a load more listed here:

Tit 4 Tat Productions. The wonderfully-monickered company of Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (I know she goes by Tiffani Thiessen now, but still).
Chuck Lorre Productions. Not for the name, but for the op-ed pieces he gives us at the end of Dharma & Greg and Two And A Half Men.
Kari's Logo Here. Have yet to see a single episode of The New Adventures of Old Christine (it's shown on UKTV Gold despite being neither old nor British), but any company name that tweaks the whole vanity logo concept is fine with me.
4. Vanity Logo Productions (as seen on Camp Wilder and one of Lauren Graham's several pre-Gilmore girls flops, Townies). See above.

5. McNamara Paper Products, Inc. Featuring a paper plane and the motto "We Make Scripts, So You Don't Have To," and seen after Vengeance Unlimited and Fastlane. A witty little logo.
6. Once Upon A Time Films. No better way to end a TV movie than to have a child switch off a set.
7. Stephen J. Cannell Productions. Because he got in the logo.
8. Bankable Productions. Tyra's voluptuous profile being locked in a bank vault.
9. Worldwide Pants Incorporated. DAAAAAAAVIIIIIIID LETTERMANNN!!!!
10. Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions. A perfect match for Gilmore girls.

"Goodnight, Mr. Walters..."

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Cute teenage girls and mermaids: what more could you ask?

Aquamarine didn't spend long in cinemas last year, and like most of the world I didn't go to see it then. Sky Premiere filled that gap this afternoon; if I was 20 years younger and female I'd most likely have loved it, but I still liked it. Basically Splash for the Hannah Montana generation though not in the same league as that or The Little Mermaid, it has soon-to-be-separated BFFs Joanna "Jojo" Levesque and Emma Roberts spending their last summer together in Tampa before Joanna's family moves to Australia (even though the movie was shot there with a predominantly Australian cast and crew), and neither wanting to break up the act. One dramatic wish later and a perky blonde mermaid washes into the beach resort's swimming pool, and cue life lessons and friendship... except that it's less unsubtly painful and more emotionally honest than expected, and while the effects work could've been better (along with the American accents adopted by some of the Australian actors, especially Shaun Micallef - though to be fair, US thespian Sara Paxton as the mermaid isn't as appealing as Daryl Hannah or the girls from H2O: Just Add Water), it's harmless and quite funny and easy to watch, with endearing characters and a good heart. Not too bad, though it's strange how Jojo is the only one of the three leads who doesn't sing on the soundtrack.

July 21st. The magic ends.

Today marks the occasion of the departure of a magician. A fellow who took us on a fantastic ride for years. One who will be, and is, missed by many who know the real thing when they see it.

Today is also, I understand, the day the last Harry Potter book goes on sale (assuming that it is the last one, like when The Sopranos was supposed to end a few years before it actually did), but it's the third anniversary of the passing of a real magician; Jerry Goldsmith.

A tribute video for Rudy, containing his wonderful music from said film:

His down-home theme from The Waltons (though he always preferred the theme he wrote for the TV movie that spawned it, The Homecoming: A Christmas Story):

A scene from The Challenge:

From Supergirl, one of many, many lousy movies that benefitted from his work:

Jerry winning his only Oscar, for The Omen:

And to finish:

Friday, July 20, 2007

Justice may be blind but it can see in the dark.

That heading was from the show Dark Justice, about a judge who when he was compelled to release criminals who he knew were guilty would later round them up through other means. The point is, sometimes justice can be served - like in this case. Some things can't be excused with cultural differences.

Shame it was too late for her, though.

Cindy Crawford, getting the weekend off to a good start.

This is Cindy being a lady who lunches.

It's at a Liane Weintraub lunch, whoever she is. But who it's for is of less importance than the fact that Cindy is there, continuing to define the term Yummy Mummy (or as she herself prefers MILF - Elizabeth Hurley and Salma Hayek are probably the closest rivals she has) and make the likes ofAdriana Lima and Gisele Bundchen look somewhat lesser.

The weather is grim outside with more rain a-coming, and the roadworks are piling up, and I don't get paid until next week, but Cindy continues to bring sunshine.

And it pleases me that her furniture line is a success.

The Friday debate: Should I post a pair of pictures of Jessica Alba in Madrid without any editorial comment whatsoever?

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

I like holidays.

Three for the price of one.

So nice to see Harry Potter play second fiddle to somebody for once. Long live cultural imperialisam!

Problem: Guilt feelings led me to take down the picture of Aria Giovanni naked that I had put up here (Aria has next week's Board Member slot to make up for it, I swear). This video should make up for it.

It's called saving the best for last.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Musical Cindy 2

With thanks to Evil.

Musical Cindy 1

Tonight the Proms 2007 has a concert of music from great British films, which begs the question of why they included Shakespeare in Love and Chicken Run. I'm listening to it now, but I could either complain about how Richard E. Grant's voice makes me want to stuff a brick down his throat, or post this link to Elmer Bernstein's fantastic main title music from The Bridge at Remagen (the CD of which is now available at Screen Archives and all good specialty websites). I choose the latter. Listen now, dammit!

They'll never stop "The Simpsons," have no fear, they've got music for years...

The Simpsons, as I may have stated, is one of my all-time favourite shows (of course it's not as good as it used to be, but I will still defend it to the end), and its terrific music is one of the best things about it. From Danny Elfman's indelible theme to Alf Clausen's work from season two onwards (Clausen wasn't on the show originally, with scoring duties being handled by such familiar-to-scoring-fans names as Arthur B. Rubinstein, Patrick Williams, Ray Colcord and Elfman's Oingo Boingo bandmate Richard Gibbs) to the songs, they've maintained a high standard that has only been recognised twice by the Emmys when it comes to turning nominations into wins ("We Put The Spring In Springfield" and "You're Checkin' In (A Tribute To The Betty Ford Clinic)"). Which doesn't really excuse The Simpsons Sing The Blues and The Yellow Album, both by all accounts commercial tie-in albums that I wouldn't go near if you paid me (especially since the latter was shelved for six years!) - but the former did help Bart and Co. become the first cartoon characters since the Archies to have a UK #1; three weeks at the top with "Do The Bartman" in 1991, no mean feat considering The Simpsons was only on Sky at the time) and a #7 with "Deep Deep Trouble."

Rhino's two essential discs of actual music from the show, The Simpsons: Songs in the Key of Springfield and Go Simpsonic With The Simpsons, are of course another matter... I've been waiting for a third set for almost a decade now and now Shout! Factory come to the rescue with The Simpsons: Testify (named after Bart's rousing gospel number from "Faith Off"), tying in with the new season this September and featuring more of the vocal numbers (though sadly not much or anything in the way of Clausen's scoring - check out "Homer Defined" or the ending of "Mother Simpson" for two excellent examples - or customised arrangements of Elfman's theme). Here's the tracklist.

The Simpsons Main Title Theme
The Very Reason That I Live (featuring Kelsey Grammer)
He's the Man (featuring Shawn Colvin)
Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl
The Simpsons End Credits Theme (performed By Los Lobos)
Ode to Branson
Sold Separately
Island of Sirens
They'll Never Stop the Simpsons
You're a Bunch of Stuff
What Do I Think of the Pie?
Baby Stink Breath
Tastes Like Liberty
Homer & Marge (featuring "Weird" Al Yankovic)
Everybody Hates Ned Flanders (medley) (featuring David Byrne)
I Love To Walk
Marjorie (featuring Jackson Browne)
"The President Wore Pearls" medley
Glove Slap (featuring the B-52's)
O Pruny Night
America (I Love This Country)
America Rules
Welcome to Moe's
We Are the Jockeys
Song of Shelbyville
"A Star Is Torn" medley
Who Wants a Haircut? (featuring Baha Men)
"My Fair Laddy" medley
Springfield Blows
King of Cats (Itchy & Scratchy medley)
Lady (featuring Ricky Gervais)

You Make Me Laugh
Lady Riff (featuring Ricky Gervais)
Poppa, Can You Hear Me?
"Yokel Chords" medley
Previously unaired bonus tracks:
"Hullaba Lula" (featuring Kelsey Grammer)
"Song of the Wild Beasts"
"Dancing Workers' Song"
"Oldies and Nudies"

Note to the producers: speaking of Shawn Colvin, isn't it about time we found out what happened to Rachel Jordan?

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Paula, we hardly knew ye

Last week, Paula Abdul was the guest host on The Friday Night Project on Channel 4 (the show is being repeated as I write this, but see the results for yourself on YouTube). This would usually have been the cue for me to be glued to the set... just shows you how times change.

I'm happy that she's gotten famous again after her early '90s heyday (not only did I get several letters in Fresh! [US "urban" music magazine, sort of like the poor man's Right On! defending her against that twat Janet Jackson], but I got my first penpal through sharing a common interest in her), but it's sad that it's due more to her being a judge on a reality TV update of Opportunity Knocks and her personal problems - the polite term - than to her music and dancing gifts. Yes, she hasn't had an album out since Crazy Cool tanked, and The Waiting Game isn't exactly Angels in America as far as TV projects go (and Bratz: The Movie? How the mighty have fallen)... the days of choreographing the Oscars (as she did in 1990) and American Beauty are a long time ago. And now that the Bravo show's bombing, even longer.

But dammit, I want my Paula back! I want to be sitting here glancing at still-quite-cute-now-she's-45 Paula while listening to Paramount Pictures 90th Anniversary Memorable Scores ("Hard to Starboard" from Titanic - which is only part-Paramount really since they merely chipped in $65 million to help out Fox when everyone thought it would flop... but anyway) and I want to be feeling guilty. And I do. But not enough to stop.

Enough, though, to wish Avril Lavigne wasn't on this show (her body is beautiful but her music ain't). And enough, alas, to probably check out that Bratz flick.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

On second thoughts...

Oh dear.


Live Earth was just as much of a ratings underperformer on BBC1 (and 2) as on NBC; festival fatigue (this came along the same weekend as T In The Park and in the wake of Glastonbury and that Diana thing - which killed Live Earth in the ratings by the way)? Competition with Wimbledon? Anyway, it seems to have worked just as well as that Make Poverty History thing. Meaning not very much at all. And it's depressing that a concert to commemorate Diana Spencer's taste in music is a bigger draw than a bid to increase notice of global warming... who would have thought the Daily Express (the most Diana-obsessed paper in Britain, and probably the world) would have so much influence?

BBC2 (or BBC Two, as they insist on calling it) has now started trailing Heroes - many British bloggers are already commanding people to watch it when it starts in a fortnight, and I shall be no exception. At this point, I can either embed its promo set to a cover version of Skeeter Davis' "The End of the World," or post some of these stunning shots of my baby Hayden from Monday.

I may be a nerd, but I'm not stupid. Toodles.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Everybody LOVES Chris.

Chris Rock at Live Earth yesterday summing up my view perfectly: "I pray that this event ends global warming the same way that Live Aid ended world hunger."

No way did I watch it (or Wimbledon - no Maria Sharapova, no point - or T in the Park or the Tour de France or...). Read this instead.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

A matter of balance

The thing is, whenever I go looking at pictures of women in various states of undress I generally balance it out with ones of guys, to reduce the guilt feelings. Does this count as self-outing?

On the one hand, homosexual pornography and imagery does not make me want to vomit, and I've certainly never gone looking for a relationship with a woman. On the other hand, I've never gone looking for a relationship with a man either... plus it is possible to not be interested in a relationship whether you're one thing or another, and if I see Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens on a beach it's not him I'm going to be looking at. Erica Campbell, the unofficial porn representative of this site, may do soft girl-girl shoots but she's straight. Richard Chamberlain's worked with women throughout his career but he's gay. And I've said on this blog before that the thought and sight of transsexuals only revolts me if they're ugly (less Barbie Woods, more James Woods).

I think The Onion's Dan Savage summed up my POV perfectly when he noted that men who like T-girls are definitely not straight, but not gay either. It's all mixed up, really. Like life. So if this counts as outing myself as sort of bisexual, then so be it.

But if I see Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake it still won't be him I want to have sex with.

Friday, July 06, 2007

The Friday Debate: Should there be more penises in magazines aimed at women?

In the new issue of UK GQ, Jessica Alba - as well as providing a layout different from the US one (more magazines should take note) - said in the accompanying interview "Men's magazines have nipples so why don't women have a magazine where men show their penises? There's Playgirl but not a fashion magazine like Elle. If there was a magazine like that I'd buy it. Nudity's not a big deal to me."

This is not the time to complain about Jessica's stance on nudity as far as it equates to herself (let's face it, how many men who enjoy looking at undressed women would want to strip off on screen themselves?); nor to point out how unreservedly sexist it would be if it was vice versa (which admittedly ain't possible). This is the time to point out the problems with this proposal.

Problem 1: Even British lad magazines don't have women showing the equivalent parts of their bodies (and this is the biggest problem with her proposal - equating schlongs to funbags is not exactly a level playing field). If men appear totally naked, then Lucy Pinder et al would have to bare all as well.

Problem 2: Unlike men's magazines, which can feature women with small breasts as well as more-endowed ones, you don't often see Playgirl brandishing men with small penises regularly. So I hear.

Problem 3: When nude women bounce while running, it's a thing of beauty. Nude men don't exactly bounce when running, and it is not a thing of beauty. Comedy, yes.

Problem 4: Plastic surgery has not as yet reached the point where men can have their penises surgically enlarged.

Problem 5: The whole ladette thing is so over.

Years ago, a less-than-100%-straight reader of loaded requested the mag include some "knob" pics. His request fell on deaf ears. So, quite possibly, will Jessica's... think about it. Has there ever been a male equivalent of someone like Sara Jean Underwood (Playmate of the Year)? The Sun's Page 7 Fella exercise was limp (as it were), and despite the best efforts of the media, women have been unable to keep from seeming more interested in the mind than men (Daniel Craig in Casino Royale notwithstanding). It would balance things out, I admit, but... I'm not sure it would really work.

Besides. there's always homosexual porn.

Jessica Alba will always be one of my favourites, but this post is going to end with a poster for Shoot 'Em Up featuring one of its stars (who has famously never had a problem with her own nudity). And it's not Clive Owen, and it sure as hell ain't Paul Giamatti.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Happy Birthday, Presley!

Cindy's firstborn turns eight years old today - happy birthday, kid! (And a belated happy birthday to Liv Tyler, who hit the big 3-0 yesterday...)

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Three more reasons why I like Hayden Panettiere.

3. Running up to Jane "Elaine from Ally McBeal, Guys and Dolls in the West End and now on 30 Rock" Krakowski and swatting her ass.
2. Bouncing on a trampoline in a cheerleader uniform.
1. "I really enjoy, actually, listening to - strangely enough - scores; just scores from movies... and you just - um - kinda give you a rush and you get to sort of, you know, daydream." (Around the :21 mark after the Bob Marley bit.)

Wise beyond her years, that girl.

Oh dear, or How "Heroes" opens in France.

Thank goodness BBC2 isn't going to do that. (They aren't, are they?)

Pinch, Punch, No Returns.

Today is the day that England goes smoke-free. That's smoke-free in public, of course. And in places of business and so forth. It's a good move (although it's a shame there are a few dedicated smokers at work, natch), but actually banning tobacco products and cracking down on them as hard as they like to say they're doing with guns, of course, is another matter altogether. I guess it's because the gun effect is more immediate and direct.

Today is also the day of the concert for the late Diana Spencer. So moving right along...

Today also marks the second half of 2007. And my goal is to make it better for myself. Yesterday marked the end of the first half of 2007; it was bucketing down and traffic was rerouted for the Gay Pride march. (Oh for the day when such things will no longer be necessary.) While I was traipsing around London trying to find a copy of the above illustrated magazine, it was raining constantly. I finally found it in Borders on Charing Cross Road.
When I came out, it had stopped raining. Coincidence? :)