Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Saturday, February 25, 2006

What. A. Bunch. Of. (Put your own derogatory term here.)

This kind of thing is why I'm glad I don't live in Barbados any more... this is the 21st century, people! From the Nation website:

Whether you call him cowboy or, facetiously, cowgirl, the image of the rugged westerner riding tall in the saddle may never be the same again.
The controversial movie Brokeback Mountain depicting a love relationship between two men on a fictional location in Wyoming, United States, premiered at Olympus Theatres on Wednesday to "favourable attendance".
But though the film has been given the green light from the local censorship board, not everyone is fully behind the move.
President of the Caribbean Baptist Fellowship, Pastor Vincent Wood, told the WEEKEND NATION yesterday though he had not seen the movie, anything that promoted a lifestyle counter to the word of God could not be condoned.
He said the Bible might not mention the word "homosexuality" but it was clear on the subject of men sexually consorting with men.
"So whether it is a movie or dramatic presentation, I can't support its showing," he said.
Senior Minister of Mount Zion Missions, Reverend Lucille Baird, stressed she was a strong opponent of any sexual relationship which was not heterosexual.
"I have to stand by the word of God. The film should not be shown. Right now we are devastated and we are agonising over losing our children with the violence in schools and the like.
"How much more can the children take without us losing the entire generation?" she asked.
Baird added: "If we keep exposing them to these things we will soon send them into oblivion. I am not saying you can protect them from exposure to everything, because you have the internet. But do not bring extra stuff to violate the young people that we are trying to save."
Phil Harden, chief executive officer of Olympus Theatres Incorporated, said he had not received any negative feedback on the showing of the film.
"If anyone voices any sort of negative opinion, I welcome it. I think it is important that everyone gets to express their views, including the makers of this film," he said, adding he had no qualms whatsoever in showing the "fantastic" movie.
But manager of the Globe Cinemas, Azard Ali, wants no part of Brokeback Mountain. He said he did not think Barbadians would support the movie.
"I have heard about it. If we show it we will get a lot of licks from the public. I don't think the public likes those movies. I remember when we showed the movie Rent the people got on real bad – they quarrelled with us," he said.
Chairperson of the Film Censorship Board, Senator Pat Parris, said based on the Film Censorship Act the movie was viewed and rated "A" for adults. She said this rating was arrived at because the movie contained sexual scenes, nudity and strong language.
"Parents should be responsible and ensure their children do not go to the cinema to watch the movie. The cinema owners should also ensure that they are not allowed into the cinemas. We [the board] will also police it," she said, adding this was the case for all "A" rated movies.
Brokeback Mountain has already been banned in some Muslim nations, created controversy in conservative American states such as Utah and has been heavily criticised in Jamaica.
It cost BDS$28 million to make and has so far grossed BDS$232 million worldwide. It has been nominated for eight Academy awards, including Best Picture.


At least no one's been killed over it. Yet.

Weekend Update

And now another shameless lift from Mr. Rosser. (Then again, exchanging ideas is what being friends is all about.)

Cindy: Jessica Alba at a Dolce & Gabbana show becoming the first female person to stand next to Elle Macpherson and Heidi Klum and make them seem not all that in comparison... which one of them seems to have sussed out in this pic. (Sorry, MuffinMan.)
Vanessa: The possibility that Jessica could pull this off with my baby cannot be ruled out.

Cindy: Got paid.
Vanessa: Via cheque. On Wednesday. With not enough time to make it to Abbey National before 4pm. Meaning that it went in on Thursday. And won't clear until Tuesday. As Jack Bauer would say, "DAMMIT!"
Cindy: My first building society statement in ages not to include the words "...will be deducted from your account...".
Vanessa: This streak will be strangled at birth with the next statement in March.
Cindy: My landlord's recovered from his stroke and is back at Kenton Road. (Yes, this is a Cindy because he's a nice guy.)
Vanessa: Workmates still refuse to believe there is such a thing as too much James Blunt, Shayne Ward, Michael Buble and so on.

Cindy: One week to the Oscars and a day off.
Vanessa: The worst collection of men's magazine covers in recent memory. Jennifer Ellison on loaded? Tess Daly (UK TV presenter) on Arena? Jaime Pressly on Maxim? Victoria Silvstedt on FHM? Sharon Fucking Stone on Esquire? Thank goodness for imports (Monica Bellucci for Italian MAX, Kristen Bell for US Maxim and Cindy C for German MAX).

Over the river and through the streets, to Oxford Street we go...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

A real vacation.

Yesterday, as I've been doing for the past few years around this time, I took the day off work. It was the first time for a while that time off actually felt like time off - no worries, no pressures, no need to be around anyone.
It felt more like a birthday than my own real one. Strange; maybe it was the feeling that I was observing something that actually meant something to me. Whatever it was - and that's the likeliest explanation - I felt more at ease yesterday than I have for a while. If only I could let her know in person.
Thank you, Cindy.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Cindy Inc.: Happy Cindymas

Heaven is a place on Earth, apparently.
And that place is, as Republicans often claim, in America.
Probably not the kind of thing you want to hear.
Perhaps you'd rather it was somewhere else?
Yorkshire, perhaps? Or Vancouver? Even Tokyo?
For our purposes it's California where Heaven is.

Orange County, you think?
Reaching, pal. It's in Brentwood, or any of her homes.
That's right, her. If Heaven's on Earth, God's a woman.
If God's a woman, Her name is Cindy.
Extending that analogy, you couldn't write about making love to God.
That's disgusting. And offensive on many levels.
However, many claim Cindy is an aggel.
Brentwood's loaded most nights with those who agree;
It's one of those we're with tonight, Cindy's lucky customer.
Rude words, many and loud, accompanied the thrashing.
The mature sexy brunette grinding underneath
Her latest paying fellow, putting up enough to be with her outside Cindy Inc.,
Driving his massive erection deep in her, up to the balls.
And seeing her lovely face moaning under him in genuine delight;
"Yes!!!" she screamed up at him. "Oh God Almighty YES!!!!"
Cindy had a few rules for anyone not her husband banging her on Feb. 20;

"You don't get any head from me," she told him, twinkling.
"Not on February 20 - today your lips suck on me."
That wasn't a condition any of them quarrelled over;

Her pussy, like the rest of her, gave few hints of two children.
It was hard for him to take his tongue out of it
And it was next to impossible to keep his cock out of it.
And now he was kissing Cindy's little
Nipples, feeling them swollen and hard in his mouth. "Mmmmm...
Nice..." Cindy groaned, twisting in bed as her arms strained against the
Cords binding her to the bed; every molecule in her body
Regretted this whole "lie back and think of England - er,
America" stance. She'd wanted to be tied up, let him do all the
Work; but with each laserblast of joy cutting into her body...
"Field!" That was the danger word, but right now she was only in danger
Of dying from joy from the way his fingers kept
Roaming her body front and rear, and how he kept on sinking
Deeper into her hot, heavenly snatch.
Youth was now looking to experience as Cindy saw the girl's tongue
Over her right breast. Not sucking, just kissing.
Under other rules, Cindy would have told Hayden she wasn't ready;
Aboard the good ship Sandra, anything went, even consent laws.
(Rape? Well, almost anything.)
"Every year one fan does you today, right?" Miss Panetierre chuckled as Cindy gaped,

Wetter than ever from her customer's thrusts and Hayden's kisses.
"One ain't enough. Good idea to have Cindymas -
No paying on your birthday - but why should you have all the fun?"
Dropping her young form on Cindy's mouth, Hayden said "Eat."
Eat was what Cindy began to do, with no choice; she wanted to break her in anyway.

Ripe and ready she was, all cute and
Fuckable; the first two years she'd guest in London...
"Uhhhh...the boat..." Cindy gasped, her tongue touching the girl.
"Like to work tonight on the boat? Little birthday treat? For us?"
All Hayden did was pat Cindy's head, waiting to have the boss' mouth inside her.

Not as far as the guy between her legs was going,
Desperately trying not to have all of himself inside her
It would be a while before he could take time for February 20 again... but
Lose himself he finally did, the woman of his dreams under a young buck as he
Opened the gates and let years of passion rush into Cindy.
Vast floods of come poured into her gorgeous valley
Each drop representingh someone who wanted to be where he was now.
Yes, he had his eye on Hayden's bouncing backside as she made Cindy munch, but
Over and above Hayden, he wanted to be with Cindy.
Under her, above her, in her... he wanted to be with Cindy every Cindymas, her way or not.

Two score and no days ago...

In 1966 Batman began a TV run that would piss away his dignity until Tim Burton came to the rescue, England won the World Cup, and the woman who put the super in supermodel came into this world.
Today marks the 40th birthday of the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth. She has moved from catwalks and media whirlwinds to being a happily married wife and mother; she has annoyed humourless animal freaks and gossip mavens; and she's done it with style, grace and ineffable charm, moving from a young woman in her 20s who inspired women and men for very different reasons to being one of the alltime MILFs, and still inspiring women and men for very different reasons. No wild tantrums, snow fondness or other "interesting" behaviour for her - she was a class act in the 1990s, and she remains one today.
She may be one of the most enthusiastically commercial-inclined models, but models are supposed to sell things. If you had told me in 1988 (the year I discovered her, in the midst of my "relationship" with Rosanna Arquette) that the then-22-year-old would ultimately be the One, I wouldn't have believed you; the Jessica Albas and Monica Belluccis of this world will always have a very high ranking in my book, but there's only one number one.
Happy birthday, Cindy Crawford.

No time for the movie show, TV, or the radio,
Gotta write a symphony,
End it with some poetry,

Tie them with a ribbon made of gold and give them to Cindy...
Today is Cindy's birthday...


- Johnny Crawford, "Cindy's Birthday"

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Just ban the damn thing in full already.

From next summer, smoking will be banned in public places like pubs and so on. As a non-smoker - who was so widely concerned about his Dad's smoking as a kid that he (Dad, that is) quit - who has to put up with several puffers at work, and who avoids pubs for that reason (other reasons, but that's the main one), I can't say this is a bad thing; those smokers who whine about it being an imposition of their civil rights should have a word with people in Guantanamo Bay or those who used to live under N. Ceacescu or S. Hussein and get some fucking perspective. And while movies make killing seem stylish (I hate the word "c-o-o-l") the way they used to make smoking seem stylish, the difference is that killing is frowned on in real life. For the most part, anyway.
Whereas there is no chance of smoking ever being banned for good; as a caller to a radio programme blaring out now said, it's all about "M-O-N-E-Y" - taxes aside, the tobacco industry is so rich that they'll never let anything stop them selling something that does no good and a lot of pain. When will people learn that it's not just weapons that are fatal?
Still, roll on next summer. And increase my exposure to passive smoking.

Friday, February 10, 2006

That four tag thing...

Four Jobs I've Had:
1. Making cookies in a short-lived working-from-home thing.
2. Working in a furniture/hardware store until I was fired.
3. Observing a carpark.
4. This direct mail lark, which I've been doing since 1994...

Four Movies I Watch Over And Over Again:
These are movies I could watch and have watched repeatedly, though not necessarily any time recently:
1. Beauty and the Beast.
2. Back to the Future.
3. Die Hard.
4. Fair Game. :)

Four Places I've Lived.
1. Harrow, London.
2. St. Michael, Barbados.
3. Neasden, London.
4. Harrow, London.

Four TV Shows I Watch.
1. The Simpsons.
2. Charmed.
3. Surface.
4. Gilmore girls.

Four Places I've Vacationed.
1. St. Kitt's-Nevis.
2. Luxembourg.
3. Barbados.
4. Antigua.

Four Websites I Visit Daily.
1. Film Score Magazine.
2. The Guardian.
3. Digital Spy.
4. Egotastic!

Four Of My Favourite Foods.
1. Steak and kidney pie.
2. Sausages.
3. Mulligatawny.
4. Burger King XL Double Whoppers with Cheese. :)

Four Places I'd Like To Be Right Now.
1. At home, instead of being at work.
2. In a cinema.
3. In France, or somewhere else in Europe.
4. Being very, very close with Cindy Crawford. ;)

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Much ado about... something.

What a way to start a work week; lose my scarf, accidentally change the channel before Prison Break starts while sleeping, lose my seven-day bus pass...
So let's talk about those cartoons. One man's pitiful attempt at commenting.

Religion is not something that you mess around with; it should have been obvious by now, after about ten million years or so. Part of me wants to say "Lighten up," but it's common knowledge that many Muslims have very strong beliefs (or it should be common knowledge); those who stood by or supported the cartoons are to be commended, but it's hard not to feel the opponents have a case as well.

It is, however, worth noting that if it had attacked Christianity in such a way, it would almost certainly be a very different story. But that's what happens when you're the most prominent religion in the world, if not necessarily the most practiced.