Friday, April 29, 2005

You may be right...

Rose McGowan is currently over here promoting Charmed (the sound you just heard was the Harem-master diving into the Atlantic and swimming over here post haste); about an hour ago I caught her live on Richard & Judy (that's one of the two late afternoon chat shows we're stuck with). Suffice to say I think I might have to finally reconsider her position in the hierarchy; Holly's still the strongest actress of the three, but... well, damn. :)

Excuse me, she's about to be on TRL (yes, MTV UK has that as well)...

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Normal service will be resumed by the weekend.

I haven't got as much time to put them back at work as I'd like... that's what the wee hours are for.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Now this is what I call public service television.

The link above will take you to RAI (Radiotelevisione Italiana)'s site where you can via web streaming see all three parts of Laetitia Casta's first major role as an actress, the miniseries La Bicyclette Bleue from 1999. Not only is it free, but she actually makes it to the end credits of part three alive (as opposed to Rue des plaisirs, Gitano, Luisa San Felice and the in-production The Girl With The Golden Eyes - in the book the title character dies, and director Catherine Breillat is a misanthropic sod). Unfortunately it's in Italian, but you don't need to speak any language to appreciate Laetitia; forget the teeth, we're talking classic here...

Friday, April 22, 2005

I don't know why I bother. I really don't II: The next day.

In the tradition of my good friend Jennifer complaining about the US FHM rundown, it's my turn to do the same for my country's (expect Kira's Slave to feature the Australian one). Now, one problem with it is that each country's list in recent years has had the same person be at the top slot; they've put a stop to that, thankfully. Now, instead of each list being juryrigged, they're individually crappy (except the French one, of course; any country responsible for Laetitia Casta, Emmanuelle Beart and Virginie Ledoyen is unlikely to really screw such a thing up. Think about it; the Americans spawned Anna Nicole Smith, the British were responsible for Jordan, but have the French given the world a sex symbol who's turned out to be utter cack? Ever?).

Anyway, here's this year's lineup according to the UK readers. This is getting depressing... my favourites in italics.

1. Kelly Brook. Okay, she's very tasty, but I just cannot excuse Maxim promoting her as "the new Cindy Crawford." Or the British tabloids for trying to persuade us she's the Next Big Thing in the US. Or Kelly herself for being on Smallville.

2. Cheryl Tweedy. Oh fuck off. Nobody from Girls Aloud has any business being here.

3. Angelina Jolie. I never can make up my mind.

4. Michelle Ryan. She's from EastEnders, if you must know.

5. Elisha Cuthbert. Kim Bauer may be gone, but her body lives on.

6. Britney Spears. If there's one thing this list got right, it's having her.

7. Abi Titmuss. Great body, cute, but so what?

8. Sarah Harding. See Cheryl Tweedy.

9. Beyoncé Knowles. Hm.

10. Charlotte Church. Going off the rails or growing up?

11. Eva Longoria. Let's face it, they were hardly likely to vote for Felicity Huffman...

12. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Too bad her last movie was for Oxygen.

13. Rachel Stevens. Not likely to have been on account of her records.

14. Lindsay Lohan. Insert "Fully Loaded" joke here.

15. Carmen Electra. Ick.

16. Lucy Pinder. Yum... but even Samantha Fox tried to do something.

17. Jennifer Ellison. No.

18. Keira Knightley. Eye-catching during movies, but doesn't hang around afterwards.

19. Alyssa Milano. Why is the least attractive of the Charmed Ones the only one here?

20. Christina Aguilera. Go away.

21. Louise Redknapp. The anti-Victoria Beckham; FHM model who moonlights as a singer.

22. Jennifer Lopez. Let's just move on.

23. Paris Hilton. Mmmm...okay...

24. Kirsty Gallacher. Hardly yucky.

25. Katie Holmes. Also hardly yucky.

26. Natalie Pike. I have no idea.

27. Halle Berry. Even after Catwoman.

28. Tina O'Brien. From Coronation Street.

29. Victoria Silvstedt. Her career leads from Playboy to Celebrity Wrestling on ITV1. Saints preserve us.

30. Jessica Simpson. Cute.

31. Jennifer Garner. Why is this beauty not higher? And is she really engaged to Ben Affleck?

32. Michelle Marsh. Blonde glamour model who pals around with colleague Lucy Pinder and who, unlike Lucy, isn't shy about showing the lot.

33. Joss Stone. Janis Joplin without the rough edges, among other things.

34. Tera Patrick. The first actual porn star here, and not the last.

35. Nadine Coyle. See Cheryl Tweedy.

36. Maria Sharapova. Face it, Maria, you turn people on...

37. Kylie Minogue. See Christina Aguilera.

38. Nikki Sanderson. See Tina O'Brien.

39. Delta Goodrem. Well, that's KS satisfied (if not Jen, MuffinMan, KMB, Butch, me...).

40. Anna Kournikova. Okay, that's the Hot Tennis Player demographic satisfied.

41. Tanya Robinson. The first winner of FHM's High Street Honeys contest, and a model. I do not care.

42. Holly Valance. Cute phone shill.

43. Kristin Kreuk. Not really.

44. Kimberley Walsh. See Cheryl Tweedy.

45. Kayleigh Pearson. See Tanya Robinson.

46. The Olsen Twins. Yes, of course they're sexier than Hilary Duff. Of course they are.

47. Denise Richards. I didn't go for her then, and I don't now.

48. Kirsten Dunst. Mmmmm.

49. Jordan. A woman who, as Javine noted in this very issue, entirely believes her own hype. As do too many others.

50. Pamela Anderson. Pammie recently attended a Las Vegas wrestling match with Cindy Crawford. The wrong woman is in this list. (This also applies to Victoria Silvstedt, since she and Cindy were in the appalling Italian comedy Bodyguards.)

51. Sarah Michelle Gellar. Actually, Buffy Summers is less sexy than Sydney Bristow...

52. Heidi Klum. Er, well...

53. Cameron Diaz. Only one woman has featured on every FHM lineup since the first one back in 1995, and she's it.

54. Monica Bellucci. Oh for fuck's sake. Are you seriously telling me that this magazine's readership think this goddess is less hot than Jordan? And the Olsen Twins? And 80% of Girls Aloud? Are they on crack or what?

55. Christina Milian. Not bad at all.

56. Charlotte Marshall. Who?

57. Jessica Alba. What I wrote about Monica Bellucci applies here too, and then some. The lower reaches for a woman who's Top Five material at the very least? Come on...

58. Mariah Carey. Welcome back, Mariah.

59. Sienna Miller. Better known for hanging around Jude Law than for acting.

60. Eva Mendes. You're nice, but you're not Cindy C.

61. Fearne Cotton. Presents TV shows which I don't watch.

62. Billie Piper. Now that her musical career has been destroyed by Britney, is now the assistant to the new Doctor Who.

63. Teri Hatcher. Er, no.

64. Mischa Barton. It would help if she could act.

65. Lisa Snowdon. Nice, but something (is it her inability to shut up about George Clooney, or her general uselessness?) gets in the way.

66. Jodi Albert. From Hollyoaks.

67. Cat Deeley. Very cute.

68. Scarlett Johansson. Tasty.

69. Laila Rouass. From Footballer's Wives, apparently.

70. Leanne Wilson. I have no idea.

71. Holly Willoughby. Presenter of the Saturday morning show Ministry Of Mayhem.

72. Liv Tyler. LIV!!!

73. Sophie Howard. Another glamour model. Has large breasts and black hair.

74. Natalie Portman. Not a fan, but I know some who are...

75. Jenna Jameson. And we're back to the porn stars.

76. Lucy Liu. So where's Drew Barrymore?

77. Nicola Roberts. She is NOT the only member of Girls Aloud to be less hot than Jessica Alba. Believe me.

78. Jennifer Aniston. At least they let in the most attractive ex-Friend.

79. Rebecca Romijn-Stamos. My, what a non-surprise.

80. Estella Warren. You do realise her last major movie was Kangaroo Jack, right?

81. Eliza Dushku. Her Tru Calling is surely higher.

82. Tara Reid. Unlike hers.

83. Anastacia. You'd think someone with such an amazing body would be higher, really.

84. Dannii Minogue. Kylie's tastier sister.

85. Kate Beckinsale. Ah.

86. Dido. You are feeling sleepy...

87. Brooke Burke. Yes. Definitely.

88. Jamie-Lynn DiScala. I doubt it.

89. Jamelia. Nice.

90. Shannon Elizabeth. Hm.

91. Rachel Bilson. Comes below her inferior on The O.C.

92. Jill Halfpenny. Not really.

93. Fergie (the Black Eyed Peas one). No.

94. Tiffani Thiessen. Not bad.

95. Hilary Duff. Why is she so low?

96. Nicole Kidman. And her?

97. Salma Hayek. And her?

98. Frankee. Why is this woman here? (Oh yeah, the jugs.)

99. Avril Lavigne. See Christina Aguilera.

100. Catherine Bell. Comes on the list just as JAG is cancelled.

You know, I really should stop with these things... the moment Cindy left the lineup it became dire. Bad taste crosses all boundaries - there are some nice choices, but any list like this that includes Jordan is officially shit. No?

Sunday, April 17, 2005

This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.

Well, the continuation of one - this is a chat I had with the wonderful Jennifer yesterday (some shorter messages edited together for readability). Stay tuned for further developments...

jencssa77: Good morning :)
Cindylover1969: Hi Jen. :)
jencssa77: How are you?
Cindylover1969: I'm okay, I guess... but I want to be better. I'm broke, I'm pissed... so maybe I'm not so okay. You?
jencssa77: I'm good :)
Cindylover1969: Great to hear... why so happy? Your team win? You and Rachel had a great session? What?
jencssa77: Both :-D
Cindylover1969: Lucky old you. I have a problem with my viewing tonight... I finally have a chance to see Laetitia Casta on TV for the first time in months, but it clashes with Charmed. I know they'll repeat tonight's episode but not for weeks. And since I can't tape one cable channel and watch another, what would you do?
jencssa77: Dunno. I personally would watch Charmed, but then I don't care about Casta
Cindylover1969: Oh, you are so going to pay for that. Eventually.
jencssa77: Sorry. Just being honest
Cindylover1969: Anyway, now that we know you have no taste :) , what else has been going on?
jencssa77: Not much...winding down
Cindylover1969: I need to try and get some money. I hate being broke. (After a pause.) You seem to have wound down to a complete stop. :) I've got an idea for a story we could do together.
jencssa77: Do tell
Cindylover1969: Set on an alternate Earth exactly like this one, except that it's heterosexuality that's seen as deviant. So the kind of stuff you and I and KMB and MuffinMan and TRL and (spit, cough) Andrew Troy Keller and so on like to write about is the norm, but MF and so on are illegal. Celebs that don't go both ways have to keep it in the closet... I don't know whether to do it as an adventure (the kind of stuff I like to do) or as a romance or whatever. Don't go ONE way, I mean.
jencssa77: That's what I's definitely an interesting idea. The biggest problem I can see is reproduction. Homosexuality can be as normal as it wants, but it still doesn't produce children
Cindylover1969: True. You see, it's a good thing I floated this with you; you spotted a flaw I never thought of. I guess they'd have to have test tube children. Or lesbians who want to have children inseminated with sperm from gay men who want to be fathers. Or deviants kept in centres for the purpose of breeding children, who get it drummed into their heads that they shouldn't be with their own kinds. Like a Catholic Church for gays (give them a child and they're theirs for life, and all that).
jencssa77: That works
Cindylover1969: Makes a change from an all-female future (or an all-male one). So... The second thing to do is decide on which celebs are in this one. The first one is to decide what the plot is.
jencssa77: Right. There would have to be someone fighting against the norm...a (gasp) heterosexual celebrity
Cindylover1969: Oh, definitely. And someone who's happy with things the way they are... and someone who's closeted. Secretly simpatico with... whoever the star of the story is.... but who doesn't want to come out.
jencssa77: We'll need a better "openly straight" character than Ellen DeGeneres ;)
Cindylover1969: Yes, that's for sure. ;) And the norm would have to stay in place at the end of the story... :( ...but it also has to have an idea that change'll come along sooner or later. :)
jencssa77: Yeah
Cindylover1969: The main thrust, I guess, could be two celebs being outed... one really is straight, the other's not. By someone who's an activist for this Straight Rights Movement (yeah, I know, that name has to change) and wants to get a message across.
jencssa77: Yeah...should we use a male celebrity in the story (and scenes) or create a non-famous male character?
Cindylover1969: Are there any male celebs you can see yourself writing about?
jencssa77: A couple. Most are athletes, but I could write about Pierce Brosnan or Brian Krause
Cindylover1969: Good. It would be a bit more believable if the male celebs were real as well as the female ones; let's use a real celeb.
jencssa77: Okay. If we use Brian, there's a trio of celebs that would fit in very nicely, albeit a bit obvious
Cindylover1969: You mean Shannen Doherty, Kerr Smith and that kid who played the little girl in the second season? :-D Seriously, though, those three celebs would fit... but OTOH Brosnan's a bigger name. Hell, he's James Bond... but it means you have to stretch a bit more for ladies to go with him.
jencssa77: If you want any tolerable ones, at least...wasn't he in a movie with Salma Hayek?
Cindylover1969: Yep.
jencssa77: There's one right there
Cindylover1969: And he's worked with Famke Janssen.
jencssa77: Yeah
Cindylover1969: Unfortunately he's also worked with Teri Hatcher and Denise Richards. :(
jencssa77: And Halle Berry. Strike her from the list of potentials
Cindylover1969: Too bad Zhang Ziyi wasn't in Tomorrow Never Dies instead of Michelle Yeoh. Yeoh's a better fighter but ZZ is more attractive. And I can't summon up much love for Rene Russo either.
jencssa77: No
Cindylover1969: How about the athletes?
jencssa77: Tom Brady, Adam Vinatieri...Theo Epstein (sports figure, not an athlete)
Cindylover1969: Well, there's never been a law barring athletes from being with non-athlete people... and I have no idea who those people are. This is your chance to combine your love of baseball and sex in one story. :) So is our male celeb the closeted straight or the framed one?
jencssa77: I can see arguments for both...I'm leaning towards framed
Cindylover1969: Cue MM scene(s). I can go with that...
jencssa77: Good, because you're writing all the MM scenes. That just doesn't do anything for me
Cindylover1969: Okay, then you're doing all the FF scenes.
jencssa77: Works for me. I'm thinking closet straight might be better for the guy. The open straight will be a celeb, yes? Female
Cindylover1969: Most of the main characters'll be female, so yes. I was thinking the person who outs them might be a guy as well. Not necessarily a celeb though. How many celebs go around outing other people in real life? They either do it themselves or leave it to other people...
jencssa77: Makes sense
Cindylover1969: And we mentioned the kids earlier... maybe one of the celebs should find she's pregnant. The closeted one, obviously - usually very careful, but she's gotten careless. She tries to concoct a story to give herself an excuse to be out of the public eye long enough for her to give birth secretly, but she's spotted.
jencssa77: And in the swarm of hate mail she receives from ex fans, she receives one from a female fan who sympathizes with her
Cindylover1969: And both women start to work for that movement? While becoming friends once the celeb meets this other closet case (assuming she is, and not only a sympathiser)?
jencssa77: Right. The fan isn't closeted, though
Cindylover1969: Good for her and you. Meanwhile the father of the child IS, and doesn't want anything to do with the whole affair...
jencssa77: Me? Whatever makes you think that the fan is me (and how did you know that I was thinking Laura Prepon for the celeb)? ;)
Cindylover1969: I knew we were going to work in the OTHER nice-bottomed redhead somewhere. ;) So that's one role taken care of.
jencssa77: Celeb or random person for the father?
Cindylover1969: Is LP seeing anyone in real life? If she is he could be the father...
jencssa77: Christopher Masterson
Cindylover1969: Francis from Malcolm in the Middle? We could use him. But you're writing that scene... (I was thinking we could share the MF scenes).
jencssa77: That's a plan
Cindylover1969: Kick it off with her sleeping with him some time before the whole thing begins - he does wear a condom but it breaks... Or start with an orgy with both MM and MF; then have one of the participants be a policeman who arrests them a la George Michael. Gets us going and establishes the place.
jencssa77: I like the single scene idea. I'm basing that mostly on the idea that Laura will be the main character...if that's not the case, let me know
Cindylover1969: When I suggested writing together I knew that Laura was going to be involved as one of the main characters; I figure we can work out a cast together. But I haven't got any problem with that.
jencssa77: Okay. What I'm thinking for the opening scene is Laura and Chris in bed, either during or just after sex, talking about how they can't keep doing this, and that they'll get caught
Cindylover1969: That could work. Is this when she actually conceives the child, or is she actually carrying it when they're in bed?
jencssa77: Conceives, I think
Cindylover1969: Yeah. Then for the next one we'd have that scene with the policeman, who's pretty much bribed to keep his mouth shut and look the other way. Almost blackmail potential if that wasn't one of the most overused plot points in these things...
jencssa77: heterosexuality illegal, or just frowned upon? I'm not quite clear on that
Cindylover1969: Illegal. Except in the breeding camps. Otherwise it's not the done thing. Laura might have to go to one of those camps once she's outed and pregnant... And becomes the centre of efforts by the non-closeted fan, the openly hetero celeb, and the movement. Sort of a symbol. Efforts to get her out, I mean. But if I'm heading down the wrong path, say so.
jencssa77: I think so
Cindylover1969: Mmmm... yeah. We'll have to straighten this out before we go any further.
jencssa77: I think so. Unfortunately, that'll have to wait. I've got to go. *kiss* See you later
jencssa77 signed off at 4:20 PM
Cindylover1969: Okay, I'll get this saved in my inbox or put on my blog (is that okay with you?), and we'll continue it later. *kiss* See you later.

As you've guessed, it was.

For the record, I ended up catching chunks of both Charmed and La San Felice/Luisa San Felice; luckily the former was more of a stand-alone episode than a major one, and to make sure I see part 2 of the latter next Saturday (a French-speaking unsubtitled Laetitia Casta is better than no Laetitia Casta at all) I'm throwing Las Vegas off my TiVo for Thursday's Charmed. Or I would if I had a TiVo...

Friday, April 15, 2005

Ivana Diamonds for PM!

I've never been able to commit to one side or another, ideologically speaking. The right is too damn illiberal and inflexible for my tastes, and the left is too holier-than-thou for me to feel comfortable. At best, I like to go for middle-of-road.

Which always leaves me in a bind in times like this, with an election coming up. The Labour Party? Never been a real supporter of Tony Blair, and he also has the disadvantage of not being worksafe (the person in charge of Ashurst is a dyed-in-the-wool Tory, and we do a lot of mailing for that bunch of twats... biased, me?). The Liberal Democrats? Jen, Ken and yours truly have a better chance of nailing the Charmed Ones than Charles Kennedy has of moving into No.10 Downing Street. And as for the Conservatives - they are the Republicans of Great Britain. And let's not forget to mention the prospect of listening to Michael Howard non-stop until 2010. No thank you.

I usually cast my vote towards someone else - anyone else but one of the two... okay, three... main parties. If it was up to me I'd vote for someone who's really pleased me at some point in the past eight years or so. Someone who hasn't been behind the Millennium Dome or Cool fucking Britannia. Someone unlikely to be in bed with the Tories. If I do bother to vote I know who the candidate'll be - as Roc from the sitcom of the same name said, "He's gonna be white!"

But for my money, I'd sooner vote for Ivana Diamonds. (Not only is it obviously not worksafe, but I must warn you that she is what is known as a T-girl. A staggeringly beautiful one - what, did you expect me to link to an ugly one? - but one nonetheless. But I still trust her more than Blair or Howard...)

Et tu, Kirsten?

Over on's message boards, in a thread discussing Danny Elfman splitting from the Spider-Man movies (thanks to his less than happy experience on the second one - music from the first movie got tracked in at some points, and several cues were rewritten by other composers [and individually listed in the end titles]... nasty, although the finished result does work in the movie), one member posted this nugget about the hitherto unimpeachable Kirsten Dunst:

during one of the publicity interviews, she made some snide comments about Elfman's score on the (song) soundtrack (i.e. it was padding and why would anybody want to listen to it).

If anyone knows exactly what she said, tell me. I can forgive her for Mona Lisa Smile and Small Soldiers, but this... this pretty much cancels out her beach pics.

Monday, April 11, 2005

What I've been trying to do this weekend, and what I did.

Tried to: Make some headway in my latest stuff for The Place Jen Never Speaks Of.
Did: Write some very, very short stories. Including one with Jessica; one with Cindy; one with Lucy Pinder... and one with Natasha Bedingfield. I am so ashamed. (The ones in progress are still in that stage.)

Tried to: Go to the cinema.
Did: Go to the cinema (Robots - not a classic, but quite good; loses points for that tacked-on Melanie Blatt song at the end, which is only on UK prints and not on either of the CDs).

Tried to: Do some shopping.
Did: Do some shopping. :)

Tried to: Watch The O.C.
Did: Not manage it. Bring on the damn catchup.

And while I can sort of see how sport discussion is a form of comfort for people...

Tried to: Avoid the Grand National, golf, etc.
Did: Do so.

So it's all right for Capitol Gold but not John Williams?

There are a lot of reasons I come to work so early in the morning. One is so I can write stuff like this. Another is so I can come in and play my own albums (one or two at a time) before it gets taken over by my co-workers, who just heart London's most successful oldies station Capitol Gold. (Last buys: a long-overdue replacement copy of A View To A Kill, and what you will see if you click the title. Once you get by the pictures, the music is a groove. Trust me.)

Anyway, this morning I had in Amistad by John Williams (probably the only composer mentioned on The Simpsons and given animated form on Family Guy - beat that, White Stripes), and just as the African-based strains for Spielberg's most underrated movie other than Empire of the Sun started to hit the final track, in comes Catherine to turn it down. It's always the way. And yet if it's something they like to listen to, up it goes.

Not good.

And I hate Capitol Gold; a little of that goes a long, long, long way...

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Cindylover and MuffinMan, together at last... and other ramblings.

Since my longtime friend and writer and fellow blogger MuffinMan keeps giving me generous parts in his tales, it's about time I returned the favour...

If Lucy Pinder (who has been described as "Nice" by Jen, thus giving the official seal of approval) is so intent on not exposing the parts that incite lust, maybe she should not wear thongs, huh? The breasts aren't the only arousing aspects of the female body...

After a long and rough week at work, we actually got a little extra this week for our hard work for the first time in all the time I've been there. And I'm not going to lie and say we didn't deserve it, because we did...

I really should write to Bob James (not the theme-from-Taxi guy) and ask him if he's gotten exposure to the new Doctor Who. ("...the hell cares!" - Tom Servo from MST3K....

I finally have that GQ. Unsurprisingly but understandably, those extra shots of Jessica Alba on the bed aren't in it. Unsurprisingly because they want to lure people to the website, and understandably because if they were printed... well!...

Whatever you may say about That Place, the mods take less shit than those over at the Guardian's site. Most of those morons wouldn't last five seconds...

And finally, what is the point of dubbing US cartoons with UK voices (e.g. Clifford The Big Red Dog) and vice-versa (e.g. Robbie The Reindeer)? Can someone explain? Is it to usher little children gently into the world? Or to keep parents watching with them from exploding in fury? Seriously, WHAT IS THE POINT? Those UK viewers who don't mind watching imports haven't got much trouble understanding what's happening, and the original versions of most US shows ultimately go down better in the US than remakes - so why redub? (Mind you, I fully endorse of junking Robbie Williams and substituting Ben Stiller...)

Friday, April 08, 2005


I've always believed (or want to believe) that things go into cycles; good luck follows bad luck, it's always darkest before the dawn and so on. So at this point, with my PayPal standing at an all time low; with work being strenuous and the bosses there being even more shambolic than usual; with my finances being in the shit; with my search for a new place not bearing fruit yet; and with the knowledge that Mr. Fuckyoua is still around....

I just have to wait it out. It's times like this that I almost wish I had a girlfriend or something.

It's also times like this that make me realise the bad things about eventually living solo. Not the bills or whatever; it's knowing that I won't be able to get up very early and chat to my friends. Or maybe get a bit of Monita Rajpal on CNN in the mornings before I leave for work.

Damn, this is depressing. I've got to cheer up.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Oh thank heaven they've GONE!

Just to rub salt into the wound, my attempt to tape Alias on the other VCR failed utterly - so now I've missed that and Charmed. I am so pissed off.

To cheer myself up I found Hilary Duff in a bikini.

Now let the word go forth that anyone who bitches about Jessica Alba will instantly be on my shit list forever and ever even unto the end of time. Amen.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

What a crappy weekend.

Is it because a passel of relatives on my dad's side turned up with no advance warning given to me, and will be staying here until fucking MONDAY, making 23 Barons Court even more cluttered and with the added drawback of my not actually liking children?

Is it because I ate too much at the end of a rough week before going to see Constantine and was on the verge of sleeping all the way through, thus necessitating a second screening of the thing?

Is it because I went to see a movie with the warning sign of Akiva Goldsman on the credits in the first place?

Is it because I have absolutely no money, and my only hope is to ask Sharon to lend me some (which I'd rather not have to do)?

Is it because Miramax/Dimension International isn't releasing Sin City over here until the 3rd of June?

Is it because eating the wrong stuff for days has been screwing up my system, building up the dreaded diabetes and making me feel sleepy and thirsty?

Is it because I'm in a down mood and I have to wait it out till I feel up again, a process made worse by my not using drugs?

Or is it because of something else? One thing for sure - when I finally get out of here it'll

a) be only big enough for me and my sisters if they have to come over,

and b) be somewhere that lets me have cable. :)